tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post1342026606514540226..comments2024-03-29T07:11:54.743-04:00Comments on Shay's Word Garden (Poetry & Such Like): Black MilkFireblossomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07040525704916368792noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-57664575141675014622015-07-14T08:45:58.105-04:002015-07-14T08:45:58.105-04:00I love the Twilight Zone feel and your ending-fabu...I love the Twilight Zone feel and your ending-fabulous!Ellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06070952447277684613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-44108788271255115752015-07-13T13:36:53.409-04:002015-07-13T13:36:53.409-04:00Lovely buildup and pace, right till the end. :) Lovely buildup and pace, right till the end. :) Vinay Leo R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13132856855570330824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-27515677153091447782015-07-13T10:26:27.312-04:002015-07-13T10:26:27.312-04:00I like the way the first 3 stanzas lead into the p...I like the way the first 3 stanzas lead into the poem. Very nice...and thought-provoking.<br /><br />Pat<br />Critter AlleyPat Wahlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01138619912065680084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-24950487275772576702015-07-13T09:20:15.755-04:002015-07-13T09:20:15.755-04:00Ha on a lot of levels--how people pose--and more s...Ha on a lot of levels--how people pose--and more subtly--what we are doing to our food chain???? You always manage to have a fun thing going on too--the voice is terrific. k.Outlawyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15698845661756444061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-83118872616309466862015-07-13T08:04:17.503-04:002015-07-13T08:04:17.503-04:00"You smile like you know the joke. you just s..."You smile like you know the joke. you just smirk and add a tab to the orange juice, stylishly blue. Moo."<br /><br />Ouuuuuuch, spot on.<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-36786963512318546202015-07-13T06:28:22.628-04:002015-07-13T06:28:22.628-04:00OOOOOOOOOOO bite, bite, bite and love how the cow ...OOOOOOOOOOO bite, bite, bite and love how the cow gets the last moo. Black is a mighty statement for the disgruntled.Gemma Wisemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17466540188839321484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-85200468932578568092015-07-13T06:27:19.680-04:002015-07-13T06:27:19.680-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Gemma Wisemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17466540188839321484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-39761321845116603782015-07-13T05:36:10.264-04:002015-07-13T05:36:10.264-04:00I found the first 3 stanzas to be so gripping! Eac...I found the first 3 stanzas to be so gripping! Each line adds to the layers of emotive description and you have created the perfect frame for the remainder of the poem.Kerry O'Connorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00720862912375945249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-6450048953981214182015-07-12T21:04:12.868-04:002015-07-12T21:04:12.868-04:00This is priceless:
"Well what the hell is th...This is priceless:<br /><br />"Well what the hell is that?<br />Really honey,<br />what's in that shit? Irony?"<br /><br />Also, the way you break that second line makes me think you might be saying that black milk might be "really honey." Perhaps there's a very fine line between what's evil, rotten, disgusting, and scary and what is sweet perfection. Maybe sometimes they just can't be separated ... like when someone's personality is made up of such stuff, in equal measure.<br /><br />"You smile like you know the joke.<br />The cow, you say," ... With this line break, I think you're implying that she herself IS the joke. She knows it, but maybe not to what degree.<br /><br />"The cow was sick" ... Indeed. And is only a poet insomuch as she is holding a pen. Other than that, there isn't much there ... other than maybe the spirit with which to do it, just not the scratch and scrawl that makes the magic actually happen.<br /><br />This stanza is strong, especially the line breaks:<br />"The cow was sick<br />of not having command over her own body,<br />and so this is her finger at the world."<br /><br />You've layered a lot of meaning here.<br /><br />Killer ending. It's like, she won't write and she won't tell the story. She will only turn things into other things. Irony into black milk, orange juice into blue (or whatever she's relabeling the O.J.). Just make it look different, and you create the illusion that something IS different. Of course, the non-poet with a pen is the cow, the black cashmere on her back is the first clue.<br /><br />Basically, she's the opposite of everything she's supposed to be. Producing black milk instead of white.<br /><br />Poets and artists do like to talk about themselves in the third person, don't they? But you made it perfectly clear with your last word.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-26940159319087987082015-07-12T17:04:52.507-04:002015-07-12T17:04:52.507-04:00The character here seems as barren-dark as a moonl...The character here seems as barren-dark as a moonless midnight in the desert, yet desperate to seem more like a dazzle and whoosh, to trade on whatever comes handiest, to appear something she will never be--why do people want so much to be something they never can be? 'Thin as a banker's smile.' What a line. Just cold and curdled as alligator milk, and I'm sure that's black, too.hedgewitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13090696134322515899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-12816408387696884382015-07-12T17:00:01.011-04:002015-07-12T17:00:01.011-04:00Intriguing prose. Lovely sentiment. Intriguing prose. Lovely sentiment. Maude Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-21045726756979087472015-07-12T16:44:35.124-04:002015-07-12T16:44:35.124-04:00I like this, "cow, you say,
was making a stat...I like this, "cow, you say,<br />was making a statement about post-modern physical art."<br /><br />:)Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10124956200834969600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-12288099381448105522015-07-12T16:13:18.650-04:002015-07-12T16:13:18.650-04:00Loved your response to this prompt! Brilliant :D Loved your response to this prompt! Brilliant :D Sanaa Rizvihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06681404650477409830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-52786079616530523272015-07-12T16:08:14.546-04:002015-07-12T16:08:14.546-04:00WTF--in my opinion--should be HTF. HOW do you do t...WTF--in my opinion--should be HTF. HOW do you do this every day?<br /><br />Amazing.Sioux Roslawskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17924021828536277618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-63566790043987933292015-07-12T15:14:49.143-04:002015-07-12T15:14:49.143-04:00Posing always done in black... I guess.Posing always done in black... I guess.brudberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12563403553536472377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-2093314940847886072015-07-12T15:07:27.293-04:002015-07-12T15:07:27.293-04:00I like this strong jab at our greed:
The cow was ...I like this strong jab at our greed:<br /><br />The cow was sick<br />of not having command over her own body,<br />and so this is her finger at the world.<br /><br />Thanks for joining in Shay ~Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02213172239590722747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-8952918308535594582015-07-12T12:47:21.768-04:002015-07-12T12:47:21.768-04:00Oh my goodness, how I adore this response to the p...Oh my goodness, how I adore this response to the prompt. I went to a totally dark place (still writing it), and adore the cow's finger to the world. Sherry Blue Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10769154286598233146noreply@blogger.com