tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post1794045027478524276..comments2024-03-28T19:48:05.247-04:00Comments on Shay's Word Garden (Poetry & Such Like): RuinationFireblossomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07040525704916368792noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-1603254541752111492013-10-22T20:31:30.750-04:002013-10-22T20:31:30.750-04:00"Are there any other serpents caught in the l..."Are there any other serpents caught in the lace<br />that you'd like to get off my chest?" Love that line..this magical feeling piece has so much truth in it..It certainly resonates with me.Susie Clevengerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09239990133754328967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-60673397339411361722013-10-21T22:59:13.279-04:002013-10-21T22:59:13.279-04:00Shay, what a mystical, soulful poem. "This d...Shay, what a mystical, soulful poem. "This demand of me to share..." really hit home for me, from past relationships. I hope you were not the one being consumed... what a way to go. AmyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-51979301202904589442013-10-21T19:54:47.088-04:002013-10-21T19:54:47.088-04:00The rhyme is graceful, seemingly effortless, no me...The rhyme is graceful, seemingly effortless, no mean feat given the whiff of Carroll or Burroughs which pervades this piece. Utterly arresting.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-78206269723066737472013-10-21T18:01:20.700-04:002013-10-21T18:01:20.700-04:00It would seem so to me, Kay. The "she" w...It would seem so to me, Kay. The "she" was more me than the speaker.Fireblossomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07040525704916368792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-66217114716624566622013-10-21T15:40:21.730-04:002013-10-21T15:40:21.730-04:00Wow, Shay. What a write!
"To me, this seems u...Wow, Shay. What a write!<br />"To me, this seems unfair,<br />this demand of me to share<br />my moon<br />my stars<br />my air" is delightfully put, but, just a question: if the love is true, isn't this what you'd want to do? Share those things and more?<br />K<br /><br />Kay L. Davieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09966266404058177742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-68490326465228992172013-10-21T15:37:51.055-04:002013-10-21T15:37:51.055-04:00"She said, you are a broken bird
whose beak i..."She said, you are a broken bird<br />whose beak is too silent and dark<br />to say the words that speak my mind<br />or ever hold my heart."... love this ending!Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15349928247626849914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-17050428734106034882013-10-21T14:53:47.138-04:002013-10-21T14:53:47.138-04:00i love it ... and that picture is perfectioni love it ... and that picture is perfectionDarylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08241795455748298624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-30980403361933264832013-10-21T14:38:58.540-04:002013-10-21T14:38:58.540-04:00I agree with all of the above... What more can I ...I agree with all of the above... What more can I say, but<br /><br />... this is the longest, damn tanka I've ever seen !! ;PMargarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00007201357693227614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-6455087198221891102013-10-21T14:26:34.837-04:002013-10-21T14:26:34.837-04:00She used fancy language but she put you down all t...She used fancy language but she put you down all the same. I love your response to her and the wry way you said it! Lady in wait in my machine gun nest has to be the all time great image. Brava. Grandmother Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18169464484379536529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-87533065332174610892013-10-21T14:23:46.703-04:002013-10-21T14:23:46.703-04:00I love the dance of dark n' light you shared~ ...I love the dance of dark n' light you shared~ The ending was my favorite, the broken bird the beak-telltale tokens of the heart! Ellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06070952447277684613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-41362722410668006142013-10-21T13:37:54.281-04:002013-10-21T13:37:54.281-04:00The desire to be alone with the one you love, the ...The desire to be alone with the one you love, the dread of being alone ... you captured the emotions. <br /><br />I have also seen "Blue is the Warmest Color" ... highly recommend it!! Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16619199535376925989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-90660521503603271892013-10-21T12:59:41.194-04:002013-10-21T12:59:41.194-04:00"my soft little breast" versus "you..."my soft little breast" versus "you broken bird" is really startling. And the question "Are there any other serpents .... " Is a brilliant rejoinder. All these accusations? She wanted nothing, nothing. I just saw the excellent movie "Blue is the Warmest Color" which has me reading for the transforming heart. The she in this poem gives none.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05723639294340760325noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-81362622132470936772013-10-21T12:28:29.538-04:002013-10-21T12:28:29.538-04:00Cruel, painful... This is amazing! I'm with Ma...Cruel, painful... This is amazing! I'm with Mama Zen on your take-off point. Really good work. cosmos camihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09558327124451076957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-59100861401084199792013-10-21T12:23:58.163-04:002013-10-21T12:23:58.163-04:00Yep....this is a cult of personality, the tone is ...Yep....this is a cult of personality, the tone is as crisp and even as any and sets the mood iron clad. Your voice is unique...and strong. Love it!!! And we can collab any time you want...I'm always ready.Herotomosthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11486093602914824276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-76540308020014693172013-10-21T10:58:47.815-04:002013-10-21T10:58:47.815-04:00Yes, but on the bright side, you are being true to...Yes, but on the bright side, you are being true to yourself, which should count for something.<br /><br />Ted Baxter: One thing I've learned is I've gotta be me.<br /><br />Murray Slaughter: Right. It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. <br /><br /><br />Much love send your way,<br />mBuddah Moskowitzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06839068145732552328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-24098335462411008422013-10-21T10:22:27.050-04:002013-10-21T10:22:27.050-04:00 . . . machine gun nest. Stunningly powerful. . . . machine gun nest. Stunningly powerful.Kathryn Dychehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17175563748388497142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-77469335043111291602013-10-21T09:37:56.227-04:002013-10-21T09:37:56.227-04:00This resonates. A very interesting take on the qu...This resonates. A very interesting take on the quandary of living in the external world and the internal one, all at once. Your rhyming is effective, moving the piece along nicely. And you've created an outstanding closing stanza. Steve Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04818671944215117618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-64593659984589043982013-10-21T08:28:54.661-04:002013-10-21T08:28:54.661-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.L. Edgar Ottohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00525169618204198073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-61162960401905939432013-10-21T01:33:15.192-04:002013-10-21T01:33:15.192-04:00The rhyme so effectively shrouds the pathos, as if...The rhyme so effectively shrouds the pathos, as if the eloquent and formal (yet carefully not-quite ending) rhyme might somehow diminish the slice. Those are tears falling, mixed with blood.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-13814537552890021122013-10-20T23:34:13.743-04:002013-10-20T23:34:13.743-04:00Oh, to have a machine gun nest. :)
As always, a p...Oh, to have a machine gun nest. :)<br /><br />As always, a pure delight to read your poetry, Shay. The rhythm you have, the nuances are second to none.<br /><br />Stripey says, "Mrrrrrowww!" Which means he agrees. :)TALONhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03205633556998220372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-43872864840985430832013-10-20T21:44:29.003-04:002013-10-20T21:44:29.003-04:00What a sad ending. My suggestion, to lighten you...What a sad ending. My suggestion, to lighten your heart, is go jump behind the gun and fire off a few rounds.HermanTurniphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15448138758753193112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-19970098630765447262013-10-20T20:33:26.257-04:002013-10-20T20:33:26.257-04:00You had me at "machine gun nest!"You had me at "machine gun nest!"Maude Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-17973746590901449782013-10-20T18:21:33.316-04:002013-10-20T18:21:33.316-04:00I agree with Kerry. Certainly, this is a poem with...I agree with Kerry. Certainly, this is a poem with sharp points.Sioux Roslawskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17924021828536277618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-3487185391350869132013-10-20T16:46:27.652-04:002013-10-20T16:46:27.652-04:00Yikes! That pic stopped me in my tracks.
Your wor...Yikes! That pic stopped me in my tracks.<br /><br />Your words took the notion of pain to a whole new level - not even a T-Rex has a bite that sharp.Kerry O'Connorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00720862912375945249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-4346897006456459442013-10-20T14:00:19.324-04:002013-10-20T14:00:19.324-04:00How we celebrate our denigrated singularity! You a...How we celebrate our denigrated singularity! You are as a barbed crystal ball - deeply rewarding for those not in thrall to the mundane.<br /><br />Aloha, my Poetic pal-soulCloudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05853753108637831069noreply@blogger.com