tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post2714532895969747738..comments2024-03-28T09:11:04.513-04:00Comments on Shay's Word Garden (Poetry & Such Like): At the AviaryFireblossomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07040525704916368792noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-84580951094720832082013-01-23T12:40:42.048-05:002013-01-23T12:40:42.048-05:00"She knows what terror is."
Yes.
This ..."She knows what terror is."<br /><br />Yes.<br /><br />This is incredibly moving.Maude Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-78988791627448548102013-01-23T07:00:55.855-05:002013-01-23T07:00:55.855-05:00A beautiful "slice of life" portrait you...A beautiful "slice of life" portrait you painted, Shay. I love these two. Perhaps they'll appear again in your writing?Lolamousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12508347229501155001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-87188295724531770152013-01-23T05:42:43.721-05:002013-01-23T05:42:43.721-05:00I read Hedge's comment and went, Oh yeah. Exac...I read Hedge's comment and went, Oh yeah. Exactly. These characters are so alive that I expect them to be in the next room when I sign off for the night. I'll send them home to greet the characters in your next piece of brilliance. <br /><br />Love the image, too and think I'll put it on my fb page. Lydiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11135393270656573516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-56517471137804890742013-01-22T21:57:28.630-05:002013-01-22T21:57:28.630-05:00Wow, Shay. Absolute wow.
KWow, Shay. Absolute wow.<br />KKay L. Davieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09966266404058177742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-79764649398983514922013-01-22T15:59:16.107-05:002013-01-22T15:59:16.107-05:00i want to know the slogan on The Girl's t-shir...i want to know the slogan on The Girl's t-shirt.Marianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04030161532713347225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-412624024369853592013-01-22T11:05:49.219-05:002013-01-22T11:05:49.219-05:00love love love ... i have a ginormous straw cowbo...love love love ... i have a ginormous straw cowboy hat with a lot of 'ventilation' .. Darylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08241795455748298624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-55393378213789822722013-01-22T06:09:49.084-05:002013-01-22T06:09:49.084-05:00I loved reading this - you made me see the whole t...I loved reading this - you made me see the whole thing.Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13984802196897920610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-74386873095802238582013-01-22T00:31:32.988-05:002013-01-22T00:31:32.988-05:00I wanted to quote every line too. But all I can sa...I wanted to quote every line too. But all I can say is oh OHH...gabriellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14488809730387509552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-16654785065403128362013-01-21T23:53:50.892-05:002013-01-21T23:53:50.892-05:00How appropriate that GorgeousCrazyGirl's name ...How appropriate that GorgeousCrazyGirl's name is all slammed together while the other names are spread apart. It gives us further insight into her personality and the inner workings of her brain---the components of which are all pushed up against each other with no space or air in between. She's like an ADHD chick on crack (but without need of the crack). She's all wound up, in other words, and her thoughts just spill right out and she never slows down to think about what she's saying, yet she's actually "all thought." Just sort of jumpy, hyper, and all over the place. Always ready to go and pumped up for the next adventure, even if it's no real adventure at all. (Can you tell I've had WAY too much coffee tonight? Yup. I have. And also some caffeinated tension headache pills. So sorry I'm commenting "under the influence.")<br /><br />Love dis part:<br />"You need treatment," says the Violinist, sitting hip to hip with her.<br />"Treat me, baby!"<br />They kiss. There is nothing wrong with the Violinist's lips.<br /><br />And dis:<br />"There weren't," replies GorgeousCrazyGirl, as calm and smooth as new snow.<br /><br />She is the coolest. I want to hang out with her, like, right now.<br /><br />LOVE:<br />It has been almost as long since GorgeousCrazyGirl has been socked away in the bin, or gotten her pretty ass arrested.<br />They are arcs,<br />moving in opposite directions,<br />together.<br /><br />Yes indeed to the whole cowgirl hat section. You may recall I'm also from San Antonio. You should insert some boots and Rocky Mountain jeans into your next poem. And perhaps a horse named Buttercup. ;)<br /><br />I love this outfit:<br />The Violinist is wearing dark glasses and a Burberry rain coat. She might be attending a funeral. <br /><br />This is my absolute-very-favorite-bit-of-perfection:<br />Once, GorgeousCrazyGirl got her dinner out of dumpsters, and believed the wacky shit her head told her. She didn't have a nickel, or a clue, or command of her own mind. She knows what terror is.<br /><br />That last line, "She knows what terror is," completely steps out of the poem for me, floating above it like a "main idea" balloon.<br /><br />I also really like the following paragraph about the birds and the wondering about why they don't fly away. Gorgeous, the bit about the sky being steps to a stage. That is really cool, Shay.<br /><br />"as zen as a zebra in a hay factory" I love these little similes you've thrown about. Fantastic fun. And maybe I'm wrong about her being hyper if she's zen. Or maybe she's manic depressive, up and down, going back and forth between the two. Or like I said, maybe I've had way too much coffee. ;)<br /><br />Precious:<br />You really are awfully beautiful," says the Violinist, playing tenderly with The Girl's long black hair.<br />"That's the rumor," she says, wearily.<br /><br />This makes me smile; I do this every time I receive a compliment:<br />GorgeousCrazyGirl snorts loudly, then laughs, a sort musical braying. "You're crazy."<br /><br />Love this line especially, but from here right on down to the end is just lovely:<br />"So was Mozart." The Violinist looks quite young when she smiles.<br /><br />I apologize for the ridiculousness of this comment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-39960495805028920102013-01-21T23:25:07.589-05:002013-01-21T23:25:07.589-05:00Your muse seems to never tire. Love sometimes make...Your muse seems to never tire. Love sometimes makes sense, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it is too much work, sometimes not enough...how you worked it all into this amazes me.Susie Clevengerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09239990133754328967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-89820641901997319422013-01-21T21:51:06.804-05:002013-01-21T21:51:06.804-05:00Two perfect wrecks making great music together. I...Two perfect wrecks making great music together. I love unusual people like this!HermanTurniphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15448138758753193112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-52890359584635069342013-01-21T21:09:44.684-05:002013-01-21T21:09:44.684-05:00Good one, Shay. I guess I just wanna say sometime...Good one, Shay. I guess I just wanna say sometimes love cannot be explained. Sometimes love just is... and sometimes what seems so different to others really is NOT. Both of these women were doing the best they could, as we all do....Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07366010389846904663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-72360260655969596402013-01-21T19:09:41.671-05:002013-01-21T19:09:41.671-05:00I SO ADORE this poem. LOVE.IT. One of my faves, wh...I SO ADORE this poem. LOVE.IT. One of my faves, which likely number in the hundreds by now. Sigh. This poem was a TRIP. Love the zenned out zebras too.Sherry Blue Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10769154286598233146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-8872447393599847312013-01-21T16:19:03.331-05:002013-01-21T16:19:03.331-05:00i didn't know you wear a ginormous old cowgirl...i didn't know you wear a ginormous old cowgirl hat ~ do you wear it while you write? is it magic? is that how you write such brilliant shit as this?<br /><br />{go back to work, damnit!}<br /><br />♥Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-47841838042508564972013-01-21T15:14:46.013-05:002013-01-21T15:14:46.013-05:00Thank you for brightening my day. Your words are ...Thank you for brightening my day. Your words are inspiring, yet simple. I would like to know them each . . . goatmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02317617928368945316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-80848905821984400792013-01-21T13:48:29.601-05:002013-01-21T13:48:29.601-05:00"They are arcs,
moving in opposite directions..."They are arcs,<br />moving in opposite directions,<br />together. " LOVE this!<br />Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15349928247626849914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-81402146053548227082013-01-21T12:19:27.031-05:002013-01-21T12:19:27.031-05:00I am completely smitten with this poem. I'm de...I am completely smitten with this poem. I'm definitely doing the "ohhs." Be back later for a thorough comment. But I do have one tiny edit: There's a place in the first half when you don't capitalize "violinist," but you do in the previous paragraph so it sort of jumps out.<br /><br />Incredible writing; love all these gals.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-34523875563265032022013-01-21T11:47:55.214-05:002013-01-21T11:47:55.214-05:00:):)TexWisGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13641962051044162710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-14611309062299677482013-01-21T11:45:20.587-05:002013-01-21T11:45:20.587-05:00You build characters as fine as wine. Dialogue to...You build characters as fine as wine. Dialogue to me is what many times makes a piece fantastic or fall flat on its face....and this one is slam up against the fantastic end. Love the interaction love the thought process...and I love legs that could stop an army....yep..super good.Herotomosthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11486093602914824276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-20475848142761682482013-01-21T10:49:58.715-05:002013-01-21T10:49:58.715-05:00Awesome, just awesome, Shay. I wear a cowgirl hat...Awesome, just awesome, Shay. I wear a cowgirl hat and my shit-kicker, short cowgirl boots often. xo<br /><br />"You're a rider on the stormy sea<br />What do you get for curiosity?<br />I am the girl with the feather heart<br />That the birds flew down and pecked apart." ~Mary Timony, "Rider on the Stormy Sea"Marionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14786883679294446945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-71707512444644141232013-01-21T10:29:44.579-05:002013-01-21T10:29:44.579-05:00Here's to love and those who sing of it as won...Here's to love and those who sing of it as wonderfully as you. Great story.Grandmother Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18169464484379536529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-90204560304694398062013-01-21T10:04:16.224-05:002013-01-21T10:04:16.224-05:00I love the little stories.I love the little stories.ellen abbotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00535475792150335186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-82321367617765857022013-01-21T10:01:28.757-05:002013-01-21T10:01:28.757-05:00I read this with more intensity and interest than ...I read this with more intensity and interest than I have read most anything lately. Compelling use of imagery, diction, scene setting and character development.<br /><br />Every line is a gem, but this one:<br /><br />"you would be beautiful in the dark. To a blind person. With no hands."<br /><br />made my heart sing. Your talent shines, here, Shay. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12460881702249079009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-33966413816337905752013-01-21T09:28:49.410-05:002013-01-21T09:28:49.410-05:00Another dazzling one act play of a poem, to the so...Another dazzling one act play of a poem, to the sound of much applause. What vivid characters you've been drawing lately, Shay. They are telling all sorts of tales, too, from the humble to the grand, the profound to the profane, and never a false word or phrase. The middle of this, with the dinosaurs, made me laugh out loud before breakfast.hedgewitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13090696134322515899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-12456564616670634122013-01-21T09:12:39.680-05:002013-01-21T09:12:39.680-05:00You COULD have snapped a picture of your ginormous...You COULD have snapped a picture of your ginormous old cowgirl hat and posted it...;)<br /><br />The tiny details are all embroidered together to make this a lovely thing to read over a cup of tea.<br /><br />Thanks, Shay. And if your first crazy girl reads this, hopefully she will be flattered she was this inspiring...Sioux Roslawskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17924021828536277618noreply@blogger.com