tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post6145600466597950063..comments2024-03-28T21:52:15.546-04:00Comments on Shay's Word Garden (Poetry & Such Like): Managed CareFireblossomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07040525704916368792noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-71213578493753111142014-03-18T03:39:34.485-04:002014-03-18T03:39:34.485-04:00Ha!
For you, this STANZA is a CON.
{well, somebod...Ha!<br />For you, this STANZA is a CON. <br />{well, <i>somebody</i> had to say it :-)]<br />And you have parodied it so brilliantly that we will have trouble taking it seriously from now on :-)<br /><br />Maybe on day we could have a parody prompt?avalonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08051456576217305095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-31549096743461527822014-03-17T21:49:49.873-04:002014-03-17T21:49:49.873-04:00The first made me think of my poor dad in the fina...The first made me think of my poor dad in the final stages of Alzheimer's, but the second made me laugh. You are always entertaining, Shay, one way or another.<br />KKay L. Davieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09966266404058177742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-20023301018889035102014-03-17T12:16:49.940-04:002014-03-17T12:16:49.940-04:00I love both poems...I have been given prescription...I love both poems...I have been given prescription meds that gave me seizures and had me on the brink of death..Let's say I am extremely wary of doctors.Susie Clevengerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09239990133754328967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-63981050503947057562014-03-16T23:11:51.324-04:002014-03-16T23:11:51.324-04:00May I avoid Drs!
ALOHA from Honolulu
Comfort S...May I avoid Drs!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />ALOHA from Honolulu<br /><a href="http://comfortspiral.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Comfort Spiral</a><br /> <br />=^..^= <3Cloudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05853753108637831069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-87522375087667997452014-03-16T22:15:23.898-04:002014-03-16T22:15:23.898-04:00Haha! Love both poems--the very rigidity of the f...Haha! Love both poems--the very rigidity of the first makes it perfect for your chosen subject matter. The second delighted me because it's full of your breath and it acted out the desire to break form that bit me too once the initial 5-line poem was ready to go. But I resisted BTW, I had always blamed France's Racine and Moliere for the tetrameter and the English for the pentameter. I will ask Kerry about that directly, I guess.<br />Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05723639294340760325noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-39389398163417664312014-03-16T19:33:12.427-04:002014-03-16T19:33:12.427-04:00Not boring! Hahaha...Not boring! Hahaha...humbirdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00106270909713851811noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-64143828728008028682014-03-16T18:23:05.194-04:002014-03-16T18:23:05.194-04:00Girl, you killed that form. Thank you.Girl, you killed that form. Thank you.Maude Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-50201923284984001922014-03-16T17:17:02.163-04:002014-03-16T17:17:02.163-04:00Conformity kills! I kind of liked the form but my ...Conformity kills! I kind of liked the form but my damaged mind seeks order and flails in chaos. I liked both versions but the second version is all you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15220312888756354357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-16965364634250577092014-03-16T16:51:43.980-04:002014-03-16T16:51:43.980-04:00Even as a straight jacket you made it fit and look...Even as a straight jacket you made it fit and look incredibly good at the same time. I'm really struggling with this form and just haven't managed to get anything down for it. Loved the free form too . . . <br /><br />When someone is fantastic at singing they say they can sing the phonebook, not sure what the equivalent is for poetry, maybe they can write a constanza!Kathryn Dychehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17175563748388497142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-57452693274198128612014-03-16T12:09:17.352-04:002014-03-16T12:09:17.352-04:00I should have known it must be English! I should have known it must be English! Fireblossomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07040525704916368792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-74613567715491570422014-03-16T11:13:31.158-04:002014-03-16T11:13:31.158-04:00I shall chime in here and say the four beat line i...I shall chime in here and say the four beat line is very much an English tradition, the five beat was introduced via the French and Italians.. but back in the day all poetry was made to be sung. I can quite hear your stanzas being belted out in a bizarre scene from a latter day Gilbert and Sullivan stage play.<br /><br />The contrivance of the form, lent itself to something a little more humorous for me too, but I have read many lyrical poems which worked just as well.Kerry O'Connorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00720862912375945249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-44589184992741406652014-03-16T10:19:10.216-04:002014-03-16T10:19:10.216-04:00"Have this prescription filled.
If it doesn&#..."Have this prescription filled.<br />If it doesn't work, come back, we'll drill."<br />I just love that, and because my brain is still not fully functional, I'll even copy and paste it back at you. ;_) <br />Your form poem manages to avoid the 'too-sing-songy' trap, and the meter and form do underline the creepy, much more so than in the free verse, which really seems closer to a humorous pastiche, whereas, the same concept in the form becomes sinister. I like very much how you've showed off your skills here, Shay, and I think both versions have something unique to offer.hedgewitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13090696134322515899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-35024271121119926302014-03-16T10:10:28.301-04:002014-03-16T10:10:28.301-04:00Ha, yes even me who are a form - freak have issues...Ha, yes even me who are a form - freak have issues with the four beats.. sounds like soldier's marching feet... (and if I ever write poetry on that I find it works)... still think your poem worked .. There is probably a reason why classic poetry is much more 5 beats... brudberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12563403553536472377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107838361391025851.post-47390225293689312012014-03-16T10:00:37.123-04:002014-03-16T10:00:37.123-04:00yes, point well taken and naturally your free vers...yes, point well taken and naturally your free verse packs far more punch. but this line is perfect and I love its rhythm:<br />"negotiate another breath."<br />well done.Marianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04030161532713347225noreply@blogger.com