"Huh? Oh. Fine."
They have a new Escalade. You know, the Suburu is making that weird pinging noise again. Tom said he could get us a deal on--"
"Tom's a prick. Laurie's a slut."
"Melvin!"
(shrug)
"You know what, Melvin?"
(mumbling) "For god's sake..."
"I feel like some Twizzlers."
"Try the store."
"Well....I was hoping you'd go get some for me."
"Fuck that."
"Melvin!"
"What? Are your legs broken?"
"Do you even love me anymore, Mel?"
"Yeah. Wow, look at that dunk."
(sigh) "When we got married, all my friends were so jealous. I was marrying an astronaut!"
"Why don't you go to the store?"
"It's too far."
"It is not. I went to the freaking moon for chrissakes. You can go to the store."
"Well I don't trust the Suburu, and you won't let me take the Rover."
"So walk. It's good exercise."
"Like you would know. C'mon, I want some Twizzlers. Be my knight in shining armor and get me some."
"What?"
"Goddamit, Melvin."
"The 7-11 is right around the corner. It's one small step for--"
"I swear to God, Melvin...don't say it."
_______
Nice to start my morning with a grin!
ReplyDeleteDang! Do you have our house bugged? (Giggle;snort) Thanks.
ReplyDeletejust cause you plant your flag in a moon dont make it yours, esp if you dont take care of it...
ReplyDeletetwizzlers sound nice...
Twizzlers!
ReplyDeleteWhat, he didn't tell her where to put the twizzlers? Laffin my socks off, dear.
ReplyDeleteFunny! Twizzlers get in my teeth, so I don't eat them, but that's what I used to recommend to clients to buy at the movies when I was a weight loss counselor.
ReplyDelete{{{giggle}}}} ♥
ReplyDeleteA bit of out-of-this-world whimsy from the wordgarden tonight...
ReplyDelete...one giant leap for Twizzlers?
ReplyDeleteOne of the funniest (in an infuriating way) things I've read for awhile. Made me think of another funny with an astronaut at
ReplyDeletethis blog. She doesn't hot-link individual posts so scroll down to the one for Saturday, Aug. 20. :)
Your "Inner Child" is totally cool.
Now I want Twizzlers! (They're my fav candy!)
ReplyDelete