Monday, July 15, 2013

your kiss

Your kiss,
one of the last ones,
after I already knew that you had lied and cheated and played with my heart,

was still something I had to have.
I hadn't wanted to confront you on my birthday
with what I had so cleverly put together about what you had done;
I wanted one more day of being stupidly happy, first.

You put everything you had into everything you did,
and when you turned that on me, it was thrilling.
I'll never deny that.

Oh, I was noble and righteous and proud.
The next night I gave you one chance to come clean--
a chance you wasted.
So I broke it off, and told the world what and who you really are.

But what of that kiss, the one I remember,
the one right before you handed me the cat card, saying,
"I thought you should have some really good pussy for your birthday!"

You won't believe me when I tell you that your kiss sat in a museum
for years, in a glass case,
a forgotten exhibit ignored even by me.

Then the zoo took it over, because it had bitten someone,
or buckled her knees, or something,
and I heard about it from a friend, or a friend of a friend,
and by then I wasn't so proud anymore.
Being alone will erode a girl's confidence, and I have been alone.

No surprise, then, that the khaki-wearing student volunteer should find me
in the very early morning,
with my naked body wrapped around your kiss,
which still fit perfectly with my heartbeat.

Stop crying, she said.
Get dressed. You can't stay here.
It was just like the morning after I broke up with you,
except with no one to admire my backbone this time,
because
I no longer have any.
_________

22 comments:

Daryl said...

wow .. wow ...

grapeling said...

being alone will erode anyone's confidence.

TexWisGirl said...

oh, the heartbreak...

Susan said...

Surreal with images so strong I can place myself in them--especially the naked wrapping kiss, backbone gone.

hedgewitch said...

'You can't stay here.' Ain't that the truth. No matter how hard you try. Everything works perfectly in this, Shay, except that sad fact at the core, which shouldn't be, but is.

Abin Chakraborty said...

chilling, edgy and absolutely gripping.even your confessional poems merge with the phantasmagoric to become something special.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

What Abin said. You constantly amaze. I so know how being alone erodes confidence and "I have been alone." Sometimes it feels like "for a century"!

Kerry O'Connor said...

Yes, this packs a spectacular punch. Someone had to write a poem for that awful last kiss - and I'm glad it was you.

Lynn said...

It is heartbreaking...

Kay L. Davies said...

Moved me to tears, Shay. So powerful.
K

Susie Clevenger said...

The emotion in this carries so powerfully from page to reader...So many of us have had that last kiss we can't forget..even when to remember brings such pain.

HermanTurnip said...

I love how your body cradles the intangible. This one made me sigh...

HermanTurnip said...

I love how your body cradles the intangible. This one made me sigh...

mindlovemisery said...

Oh wow this is so vulnerable and heart-breaking, gorgeous

K9friend said...

Love, betrayal, loss. This piece perfectly captures how all those events tear apart the heart.

Pat
Critter Alley

G-Man said...

Anything said about this little Gem would be trite.
I was captivated from the start.
You have a wonderful gift Shay.

Helen said...

A heartfelt thank you!!

Gemini/Scorpio/Capricorn got me through the first few hours of waiting while son Carl had six titanium posts implanted in his jaws. Months of waiting for the tooth part while new bone anchors the posts.

Marian said...

awwww. you know despite all the beautiful specificity of this, it's really universal and i really relate, i bet most of us do. thanks.

Buddah Moskowitz said...

AH, you got a way with heartache that is poignant, purple and swollen, and if you're going to love throw yourself in. I don't want to admit I've been here, but I have.

Mama Zen said...

This is a full course meal of a poem; utterly delicious until you choke on it.

Or, more to the point: fucking brilliant.

Sara said...

Well written, but with a bite at the end!

LaTonya Baldwin said...

This cuts to the bone, Shay. Honestly I was sure with the opening but the momentum built and you wrapped the sentimentality in cold stark reality and that brought us to the blow as it should.

Appreciated.