I took you more northerly still,
my arms around you green
as the hearts of young trees.
The lake gave us all it had--
shells, glass, smooth stones,
and pretty foam laid at our feet.
My dark-haired, dark-eyed stormy baby,
see me orange and black, a monarch girl
in love with you, transformed.
______
To STWIASD from your Michigan girl.
57 words for Mama Zen's Words Count Challenge.
image of Janine Mizera titled Emotions III Retouch is by Catliv and can be found HERE.
Green hearts of trees, smooth foam.. so many beautiful images combine to produce this 'feeling' poem.
ReplyDeleteThere's much to love in this poem- arms as green as young trees, pretty foam laid at our feet- but my favorite is the image of you as a monarch, transformed by love. Pitch perfect.
ReplyDeleteI love the image of "a monarch girl!" This poem is chock full of beautiful imagery.
ReplyDelete.. 'pretty foam laid at our feet' ~ pretty maidens all in a row. Lovely poem, Shay.
ReplyDeleteLooks to be an extraordinary vacation!
ReplyDeleteOh, total abandonment in the arms of love...Shay...*sigh* this is so beautiful and I'm a sucker for mention of, "orange and black, a monarch girl in love..." just delicious, truly. ♥
ReplyDeleteAmazing their migration, the sea of them... their short lives in the sun or long lives to make the journey. Why wouldn't she make pilgrimage to such a northern star?
ReplyDeleteHoly crapola! 57 words? I can't even get close to that good with 570 words.
ReplyDeletebig sigh... lovely.
ReplyDeleteGlorious and perfect.
ReplyDeleteMonarch Girl - Harley colors too.....
ReplyDeleteRide!
Aloha
A sense of swoon and dream all romancing reality! Very beautiful!
ReplyDelete"More northerly still," ahhh, there is an image, the heights of pleasure. This is a sensual feast, Shay. I love your approach to women loving women... it simply abides. A wonderful quality in your writing. And the monarch shedding its cocoon was great, too. Peace, hon. Amy
ReplyDeleteThere's no doubt you have a way with words, Shay.
ReplyDeletePat
Critter Alley
Great use of colours! I especially liked the orange for the monarch!
ReplyDeleteThat must be hard - sticking to 57 words like that. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully sensual...quite a vacation.
ReplyDeleteShay, next week I'm heading north and I can't wait...not many places where there is still and calm left. This was beautiful.
ReplyDeleteswooningly brilliant... true love points true north...
ReplyDeleteEvery word of this is perfect.
ReplyDeleteFantastic! Love the use of color here.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm a Detroit, baby. Lots of stories and friends, up North. Take me with you.
pretty! i just watched a handful of movies with southwest/desert locales and this is like fresh air.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fresh description...love your images Shay.
ReplyDeleteFeel like this is a beautiful love story!
ReplyDeleteHow dast you write stuff like this when I'm unconscious??? You do short poetry so many different ways, Shay. I like this way, simple and sweet, very much.
ReplyDelete