Thursday, September 11, 2014

under the eiffel tower

under the eiffel tower,
a young woman
whose father was someone famous
a young woman
who had done pretty much nothing herself
gave her kiss
to a lover who had been this, and done that,
on both sides of the camera
with everybody
who was anybody
before she was born.

imagine
the throw away line
that turns to gold and saves the shoot.
imagine
the plum part
dropping into her lap just like that,
first thing in the morning
and in french.
______

 

 

12 comments:

hedgewitch said...

I doubt this could sound better in French--it feels french already.There is a wistfulness to this that understands how little comes to us because we earn it, and how much is serendipity. Beautiful, Shay, as falling leaves, or maybe rose petals. French rose petals.

Shadow said...

So it's about our looks, who we know, who are parents are? No, it's Paris. It's about love, success, romance and fulfilling dreams...

Birdman said...

This is a cool take on an over-photographed subject.

cinnamon styx said...

This is amazing.

"a young woman
who had done pretty much nothing herself
gave her kiss"

"who had been this, and done that,
on both sides of the camera"

the entire second stanza ... every word; I'll break it up anyway, because I enjoyed the lines in pieces, like this:

"imagine
the throw away line"

"that turns to gold and saves the shoot"

"imagine
the plum part" ... I'm nuts over the word "plum" (and wanted to use it as a baby name, but it was a no-go with my husband) ... so anyway, seeing it pop up here was a treat.

And then the way the plum line rolled right into this: "dropping into her lap just like that" ... just doubled my pleasure over the previous part.

Then you went and did this: "and in french" ... taking it right back to the opening for proper framing and closure.

I'm having to think through what the second stanza means. I'm thinking it's a sports reference; she's just another score or conquest to him. There's also a double meaning in "line" ... like the line that this older man is nonchalantly and easily tossing out at her, so smoothly that she can't help but swoon. He's done this many, many times before. And it's just plain old hat for him. But for her, why, he might as well have hung the moon ... and directly over the Eiffel Tower. And then also, "throw away line" makes me think of a line that shouldn't be crossed (maybe because he's her dad's age), but that you just toss out and forget about because the temptation or lure is just too delicious to pass by.

And then she has daddy issues. So she was a sitting duck for this man who completely won her over with an easy "golden" pick-up line.

There might be multiple meanings in "shoot" as well ... a laundry shoot, or a baby plant, perhaps. The former makes me picture her falling fast and hard, in the dark. The latter makes me picture her fading away without any light, and this guy, even though he's bad for her and is using her, he does save her in a way because he at least pretends to "see" her, and that helps her begin to grow again.

I want to hug this poor young girl; she has so much pain in store for her, and I wish I could protect her.

You may have meant different things, but this is some of what I see. Also, "under" the Eiffel Tower makes me picture it falling on top of her, leaving her trapped ... and sort of loving it. And if it is a metaphor, and the tower is the man, then she is under him ... in multiple ways, I'd imagine. Under his body, under his thumb, under his control. ... Just a few thoughts; I'll stop. But obviously, I loved the piece!

Kerry O'Connor said...

Simply brilliant.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Ha. I suppose I never got discovered because I was standing under the Awful Tower, instead. Wrong fricking tower! LOL.

Mr Puddy said...

Me just dropping into my daddy's lap just like that ..too ;)
Have a great weekend

Cloudia said...

good choice of family and connections! Sadly my parents (the "Costanzas") did not expose me to such opportunities

myinnerchick.com said...

I NEVER tire of your gorgeous words. OMG, if you wrote in French, I may go insane! x

Mama Zen said...

I really love this, Shay. It feels like it floats just above your fingertips.

my heart's love songs said...

proof, yet again, that you cannot write anything less than stellar!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Living in Los Angeles, I can think of at least a dozen women this could apply to.
Perfect.
jj