the red of roses balanced there
to fire a fever in my head
a senseless sleeping, loved instead
Of you, a pool of glossy surface,
silent as some deathly circus
where all is mud and lily root--
cold lips to do what kiss can do
When offered with such artful lack
to turn my wreath of roses black.
______
For Karin's "artifice" challenge at Real Toads, which gave me the poem I needed to go with the image for Mag 301. Image by Ed Ross.
Note to my readers: comment moderation is now enabled.
This is so slick, Shay. I love the rhyme and the excellent movement of roses going from red to black.
ReplyDeleteThis is so evocative of the feminine, but also, the human. The second stanza, in particular is like some intricate piece of jewelry, where every line and curve of word adds to the beauty and the purpose. Then you move in for the kill. Really an eloquent, impressive write, where every word counts double. Good to see you back on the job of administering my poetry fix.
ReplyDeleteJust terrific--agree with Hedge and Kerry--eloquent and precise and yet also evocative in the way imagery is that reaches beyond precision. Oh dear--one feels so sorry for the speaker here. I didn't follow all that went on re blog, but hope you are feeling better--certainly you should know you have plenty of admiring followers. k.
ReplyDeleteThe roses turning black.. what a great metaphor from that kiss... the ice with lack.
ReplyDeleteExcellent.
wow.
ReplyDeleteFantastic. That is some serious withering.
ReplyDeleteI dont exactly know what it means. But i like it. A few reads to figure out, as all great poetry should be
ReplyDelete"Where all is mud and lily root" and the last two lines--those I like especially...
ReplyDeletesure, just killing it again. dead. time for me to put my pen to sleep. ~
ReplyDeletenicely written
ReplyDeletei'm in hedgewitch's and kerry's corner as to how wonderfully evocative this is.
ReplyDeletegracias for...administering to my poetry fix, also
Shay, I've been thinking about artful and artless a lot lately. This is definitely artful and pairs perfectly with the photo.
ReplyDeleteNicely done. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteThat was an amazing rhyme! Well done!
ReplyDeletethe kiss certainly didn't live up to expectations!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, the promise of so much offered, and yet not taken , even dismissed. Often that is the case - and beauty and love wither. Or at least that is what I got out of your beautifully put together words. Another set of stanzas that must be read out loud.
Oh! Those last lines are a stunner!
ReplyDeleteLovely poem, Shay.
ReplyDeleteOh this was a joy to read out loud. There is a beautiful musicality to it.
ReplyDelete