Fermi LeBouche

Fermi LeBouche killed his wife. 
It was done thus:
"Here's what I think..."
"What you have to understand is..."
"So I told them..."

Neighbors noticed she seemed unhappy.
Then tormented.
Then dead.

One look at her lying there, bleeding from her ears
was all the gendarmes needed.
Fermi was arrested, tried and sentenced to the guillotine. 

"Monster!" cried the crowd.
Down came the awful blade. 
Someone grabbed Fermi's head from the basket.
"In my opinion...."
"Let me tell you something..."
"What you don't understand is..."

Fermi LeBouche's head kept talking.
It criticized the executioner's methods.
It held itself blameless for the death of Mrs. LeBouche.
It told a series of very tired old jokes and laughed itself giddy.

Month after month, his head kept talking.
"Why, in my day..."
"That reminds me of the time I..."
"If you want to know what I think..."
Finally, a soldier returning from the wars was riding on a wagon 
with Fermi LeBouche's endlessly loquacious noggin.
On and on, opinion after opinion,
story after story,
unsought advice after unsought advice.

They say that Fermi's last words were
"You can't kill Fermi LeBouche with that little thing..." 
but though he never admitted it,
he was badly mistaken.

for Camera FLASH!



tonispencer said…
I love this. Poor Fermi, so sadly mistaken. I am surprised the soldier in the wagon with Fermi didn't drop kick his loquacious noggin through the goalposts of life.
Sherry Blue Sky said…
I had a mental image of the soldier hurling the yackety thing into the bushes. I loved this story. At a poetry event the other night, a woman sang a cool song about Mansplaining.......it got laughs.
Sioux Roslawski said…
Yes, sometimes men yammer and yammer and yammer.
Jenna said…
Fermi LeBouche! That's hilarious.
Maude Lynn said…
I think I knew that guy . . .
grapeling said…
hilarious. my high school french comes in handy here