warm and curved and hanging from a hook
I know one trick,
to distract the honest eye
but every shell is empty.
Choose me
and you'll be sorry, though I'm
sweet on my feet,
I'm Coffee Girl when I fall
I run out right before your honest eyes.
_____
for Friday Flash 55 at VerseEscape, hosted by my fab BFF Hedgewitch.
You've made every word jump off the page and slap the reader with its emphatic, effective straightforward image--some things we should not drink deep, and some things stimulate without satisfaction. I am really pleased with the end lines of both stanzas--as always you know just how to sort your words for the most impact, no matter how few (or how many) you use. Thanks for playing, Shay, and may you have a kickass weekend--you've certainly helped mine.
ReplyDeleteYou know how to use your words, indeed!!! Happy Friday, fellow retiree.
ReplyDeletePunchy and sassy! What else can I say?
ReplyDeletePlayful, edgy and a bit dark. We're engaged from the first line. And you found the perfect ending for this metaphor. --Steve K
ReplyDeleteThis poem is excellent, from start to finish. (I particularly love the broody image preceding it.) Yet despite your warning, I’m still in the mood for coffee, girl. :)
ReplyDeleteSneaky girl...Love it!
ReplyDeleteWow! That opening stanza packs a strong punch. Such a clever comparison.. uniquely you in content and flair.
ReplyDeleteHey, I'll still take a coffee girl over a tea party lady any day. Smart and fun and sharp, Shay.
ReplyDeleteI think I prefer Coffee Girl over Brewery Boy (we have so many of those around here)
ReplyDeleteThis is so cool! Strikingly visual.
ReplyDelete