but there it is, like a cop
parked behind a billboard
or
a funnel blowing the barn apart.
Now here's this guy,
He needs a drink before he spits it out,
termites working in every smile,
his suit already pooling in the chair.
And now I'm the one, the home town
you can never go back to.
"You've changed," is usually spoken with that face one saves
for finding out your sports hero shoots skag
or the sweet old lady next door has renters under the floor.
Rivers flow,
rats run up the pole.
Clocks tick,
clouds form and blow.
Carrie Nation knew it was true,
as Lizzie B. did, too,
that the most interesting person in the room
is always the one swinging the axe.
_______
for Sunday Muse #185.
An introspective read!
ReplyDelete“that the most interesting person in the room
ReplyDeleteis always the one swinging the axe“
Geez Louise, that was a clever ending.
This is my favorite:
“termites working in every smile,
his suit already pooling in the chair.
And now I'm the one, the home town
you can never go back to.”
And I do love that Lizzie B.—as a character anyway. Probably pretty scary in person.
I actually wrote the ending first.
DeleteI like knowing that—the process.
Delete"Now here's this guy,
ReplyDeleteHe needs a drink before he spits it out,
termites working in every smile,
his suit already pooling in the chair."
i liked that description, i see his wooden smile fading away. i recently ran into an ex, and chatted for a few minets, and while excited to see them again i could see that she was thinking what i was thinking, "what did i ever see in you", glad it ended friendly before it came to swinging axes... i too enjoyed your ending.
This has a great flow to it, and the fact you wrote the ending first adds to the unbalanced feel of the tone--hot, cold, dispassionate, bitter, resigned, and perhaps who knows what else under the floorboards. It's a complex mix and difficult to pull off, but I think you've done it. The ending is rueful as well as vehement, the rats, the suit pooling, the sense of a progression that once started can't stop, takes nothing away from the wisdom in the words themselves, like all wisdom earned under the boot of experience, full of that sense of blood under the bridge that Lady Macbeth knew so well. Or so I read. A difficult but successful poem, I think.
ReplyDeleteyou have conjured so much in such powerful lines - the man comes to life and then you go and change it all, tempo and images. A flow of consciousness that flows like wine
ReplyDeleteI too love that you wrote the last line first. I always love to hear about a poet's process. So many images so intensely put before us here Shay. I especially love the line, "termites working in every smile".....simply amazing how you paint a picture and feeling with poetry and of course, the ending is killer in an awesome way!!
ReplyDelete"I'm the one, the home town you can never go back to." Wow!
ReplyDeleteAs I read your poem ... scenes from the film "Fargo" kept flashing thru my mind. The home town line, as Sherry points out ... is a huge WOW!
ReplyDeleteThe end nailed the mood of darkness. As always. Surprising and entertaining poetry
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday
Much💛love
You nailed that look-over-your-shoulder sense of unease and, echoing others, your last line was an excellent ax.
ReplyDeleteHoly F---fish. Those last two lines blew me away. And you wrote that first? Wow.
ReplyDeleteI also especially loved the "A funnel blowing the barn apart" line, along with the change-of-rhythm 5th stanza.
Shay- this is mind blowing, and that ending is nothing short of amazing.
ReplyDeleteyou've wrapped up the entire attraction of the genre with that closing couplet. no one would go to see movies with just simpering kids in them. you need the axe.
ReplyDeleteThis had me reading, reading, and reading again. Love the last lines - fascinating that these came to you first and then built the rest around them.
ReplyDeleteLove the way you ended this Shay. Pow boom bang — careful with that axe, Eugene!
ReplyDeleteI had to Google that.
Delete"termites working in every smile" - of all the amazing lines of yours I love, this might be my new favorite. Careful with that axe indeed.
ReplyDelete