"Take the ribbon from your hair
shake it loose and let it fall"
--Kris Kristofferson
The moon drowses now, in her compartment
made of asters on a train to the sea
and she seeks in her dream the department
of missent lilies, mislaid carelessly.
Her petition is dancing so sweetly
that the gods search their memories for tears
to stitch where her silver crescent appears.
The moon is blemished now, by dawn and time
and the train master calls for her sorrow
to be served as gin with a wedge of lime
and then forwarded on to tomorrow
where what they can't buy, the asters borrow
a mixing of winds as a bandage to bind
her with thread of forgetting, serpentined.
_____
for Tuesday Poetics: Fay Collins
art by Fay Collins
this poem is a rhyme royal
You had me at "made of asters on a train to the sea." I liked "the department of missent lilies". An eloquent piece, rife with sorrow. with hope put like a spiderweb between the lines.
ReplyDeleteWow, Shay! This rhyme royal weaves dissonant images seamlessly together, the meter never missing a beat on this melancholic train ride. It has the fearlessness of nursery rhymes, seemingly nonsensical but with an internal consistency of hidden emotion demanding activity, in this case leaving the pain, the binding of wounds. Absorbing, riveting poetry to read again and again.
ReplyDeletePax,
Dora
Sorrow served as gin with a wedge of lime. I love that.
ReplyDeleteEffortless, gorgeous. The form supports and exalts rather than overwhelms (as so much rhyme is wont to do) - and the close: the bitter and sweet hope of forgetting. Superb. ~
ReplyDeleteExquisite poetry, Shay! That image of the moon 'served as gin with a wedge of lime' will stay with me.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful use of form! This just flows so gorgeously, the imagery is dreamlike and delightful, and all sorrow should be served with a slice of lime.
ReplyDeleteThe form suits the spirit of the poem, wistful, serene in sorrow that has been paid for and is now a curio to be dusted off occasionally for the memories. the first time I read it, I didn't even notice the rhyme, the second, it was like music. I especially love the asters, in all their incarnations here, and in the final lines, especially. Dreamy dreams, indeed. Just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteWow, this is a beautiful poem. :)
ReplyDeleteI really love that this might be about someone you met at work. All the mail terminology—it very much makes me want to hear the real story. :)
ReplyDeleteI also love imagining it being about a girl observed in a mental ward, perhaps being written about by a poetic nurse. The train master is her therapist, and the silver crescent is maybe a scar on her wrist. The bandage at the end (my favorite part) is a straitjacket. The asters are those who attend to her, hold her down, medicate her.
You fiil that water with moons and sadness.
ReplyDeleteThank you each and all for the wonderful comments.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful piece Shay, and I really like the form — and I am not usually a form fan. Wonderful imagery of the moon, a favorite poetic subject for me. Excellent!
ReplyDeleteThis is excellent... I feel that that the train leads nowhere in the end... just goes on and on. Love all the great lines, and it reminds me of the lyrics in a song by Chris de Burgh called "Spanish Train", a long time since I listened to that one.
ReplyDeleteLove all the imagery, especially liked, "The moon is blemished now, by dawn and time," it is so evocative! ❣
ReplyDeletefine job
ReplyDelete