Stars

 When I was just an olive sparrow living rootless in Texas,

I met Kris Kristofferson and some hay-blond woman with a kind face. I asked Kris, "Are you going to Willie's picnic?' and in that train engine rumble of his he laughed and said, "Hell, I see Willie at his house!" I never saw Kris Kristofferson again after that, except once, last night, around 3 a.m., in a cemetery just off Woodward Avenue. I asked him, "Where's Rita?" He said, "Oh, I couldn't rightly say, but wherever she's at I expect she's singin' " We sat together on a marker for Howard Greenbriar, husband and father, our beers at our feet, brown glass sweating in the grass, their gold-and-yellow labels giving them the appearance of votive candles. Looking up, I said, "I can't see the stars." Kris told me, "That's the lights, babe. We're like belled cats lookin' for angels." It was bright when I woke up. I wondered what happened to the hay-blond woman with the kind face. Her hair wasn't dark like Rita's or mine or turning gray like Rita's or mine. A friend texted, asking if I was going to the Kristofferson show that night. I texted back "Hell, I see Kris at his house!" But the truth is, I haven't seen a star for a very long time.

_______________

The part about meeting Kris Kristofferson in the first part of this poem is true. Or maybe it was just some rando who looked and sounded exactly like him.

Verse/Us

 

Verse I loved you like window glass loves morning light. Cats envied me my easy silence and singularity of heart. Perverse If I found you dying by the roadside, my eyes would be as blank as china plates and my silence entire. Verse I wrote a bloom of poems for you an origami of your face, your voice, your scent. My love reshaped into rows of you, riots of you, and every shape of you. Perverse Pearls before swine is strange jewelry. A thing is worth what it's worth to the one who receives it, so receive my scorn, my bitter spade, and these branches broken. Verse Look, the moon, your twin and avatar. I blazed for you, and shed light with every loving gesture which you reflected back, quarter-strength, and only in the dark.

Mount Pinatubo

 There's a thing, some sort of

eruption

on my skin

and it

vibrates

 

every time the autobus bounces

and the chickens flutter

as if, dreaming, they are back in their shells

desiring

rebirth

 

as eagles or raptors or some undreamt-of symbol

rising

through the roof of the autobus.

 

There is a blemish,

some sort of eruption

on my skin and boiling beneath Mount Pinatubo.

 

The day is hot,

and I am dizzy,

as we go around the curve

on this mountainside which has no

guard rails

and never did.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

 

Santorini Island

Don't talk to me about made-up things,

someday things,

not now. 

I am only half here.

Every time I close my eyes,

I am back in Texas,

twenty-three again,

and looking for a dump I can afford.

You are talking,

but I am thinking

about Santorini Island, a place I have never been,

where the domes and railings

are the same bright blue

as the sea.

Then I am back in Texas again,

the landlord waving his hand,

saying yes, yes,

that can be cleaned/fixed/hauled away

and do I have the deposit and

next month's rent?

I wake again and there you are,

still talking, holding a bible like an admonition

and rattling on about forgiveness.

I wish my dog were here,

He never spoke but was a kind of Jesus.

all love and no faking it. 

In Texas I was hoping he would be okay

in the new dump, 

Downstairs was a tired blonde with a young son

and upstairs a hypochondriacal Mexicana

and an older gay man in a linen suit--

my new family.

I will die soon,

you can have my cutlery and framed art

if you go away right now.

Made-up things, someday things 

bore me, cause me pain. Let me drift

into a grove of Mesquite trees

somewhere in the Texas hill country,

or down a stone walk to a table by the sea

on Santorini Island, where I have never been,

where the domes and doorframes are that marvelous bright blue.

My dog will be there again

after all of this time and searching

like a sentinel

or a Maître d, 

as dependable and fine as the arc of the sun in June. 

Texas bluebonnets under a mesquite tree

-----------------------------

For Dora's Something Borrowed Something Blue at Dverse. Poetics

Blues & Calicos

 Exes should have to wear a bell

like blues and calicos, so us birds can fly.

But all right, I'll handicraft a smile,

me in the role of a civilized adult when we 

happen to cross paths.

Raise a glass to the past--

vinegar was wine once,

so drink up,

you little arched-back pussycat.

Baseball

 He wore a felt hat

for his early morning beach walk-- an old man as regular in his habits as any tide. He moved slowly, carefully, in incongruous leather shoes under an anvil sky. Later, the oddest thing-- he sat on the sand as if resting, but his shoes were gone and he was as dead. His felt hat had fallen nearby cockeyed, between a cracked shell and a dead fish with a blackened hole in the crown about the size of a cold drink coaster or a baseball.

The Days Left Behind

I asked the mourning dove

where to find the days left behind. 

"In the dew," she replied.

"In the wild grass

 on the slope beside the river.

Hurry," she warned. "Winter already whispers."

I asked the vulture

where to find the days left behind.

"In the fire pit," he replied.

"In the ashes 

full of hands and faces.

Go slowly," he warned. "They will wait."

I asked the falcon

where to find the days left behind.

"In my nest," she replied.

"I used them

for my children, bald and bottomless.

Go now," she warned. "My talons are teachers."

I asked the gentle mourning dove.

I asked the grim vulture,

but the lesson lay

at the feet of the falcon

in a slurry of time, need, and blood.

Grackles

 The grackles have returned

because Detroit is not San Juan Capistrano and they are not swallows. Like Spanish grandmothers wearing mantillas they walk with dignity born of pain at spring weddings and morning funerals. The grackles have returned like circuit riders to small villages carrying bibles and handguns down lonely lanes. I find the finest one and lure him into a dance. We are corn kernels, matching cutlery, a marriage of local beauty and somber bird. The grackles are back and have not killed anyone so far, in the scramble beneath the feeder. They only did that for one summer, years ago when I held a dead fledgling in my palm and the sun shone brightly like a smiling dandy.

Moonbird

 I was speaking, a moaning call,

a spreading gray constellation,

a smoke of words

but you weren't listening anymore.

It is the only language I have.

I live in the interstices

between seed and fruit,

seed and earth,

sea and air,

love and absence.

I have come a very long way, and yet

I am as gray and unremarkable as old lumber.

My love expresses itself inside the earth

and produces a single emissary.

The way is long, the continents pass by.

We meet again only at intervals, but on the same ground.

I was trying to tell you about moonbirds

in their secrecy and their millions.

They seem to vanish, they glide without effort,

but are always there, like love or frailty.

I was speaking, a moaning call,

a smoke of words between sea and air

but you, you love the smell of milled wood,

and weren't listening anymore.

__________

Asters

 Here is a gift--it isn't much

like an analgesic for a lost limb.

Still, the shape of your ears

and the asters in your voice

make me long to become a gardener

or a choralist.

Sadness like bad whiskey takes me when someone speaks

without your regional hard "R"

that made me want to sign on as cook

on a doomed vessel full of haunted sailors.

I love you. I did then and I do still. 

I am a quivering aspen , slender

with black scars, a recorder playing only one tune.

I play it for you, for the shape of your ears, and the sound of your voice.

Paper Pennants

 When I was a young child

my brothers had a hockey game

with metal men

and a marble.

Each team had

a paper pennant

like a challenge laid boldly

before the other teams and the larger world.

I liked the Toronto Maple Leafs

in their sweaters as blue as God's eyes.

The goalie's smile never faltered

though he was hit with the marble a thousand times.

In a dream

I see that goalie coming up the tunnel

in his blue sweater and big brown pads

fearless, changeless, continuously happy.

He takes to the ice

to tend his green mesh net

while we stare up from beneath the surface

like ads or circles or lines or dots.

When I was a young child

there were Red Wings and Rangers

Blackhawks and Bruins

a marble, a goalie, and tilted ice that seemed perfectly fair at the time.

_____

Now

 Now,

I kiss ice

I kiss the wind

I kiss the wounded whose souls have rattled loose.

I have found

that brew is made of boneless angels

gathered from mountainsides where monkeys roam.

There was a time

when minutes spoke, gods lazed,

and I loved you, in pure honesty, like a novitiate.

Now,

I listen for leaves caught in river ice,

and run my fingers across the skin of a sacrifice.

My skin flushes firebrick red

from this cup which holds my fever.

I kiss ice.

I kiss the wind.

I kiss the wounded whose souls call from distant hills.

The Cat

 The cat is way from the office.

the cat is away in a manger.

the cat can't talk right now.

the cat hopes that you have a pleasant flight

   but if not, oh well.

The cat cannot sing nor play any instrument.

the cat crapped in the neighbor's flower bed again.

the cat made your bed and is now lying in it.

The cat has won the election and is now speaking to its supporters.

the cat wants in, no out, no in, no out.

The cat can explain everything.

the cat never meant to hurt you.

the cat has been caught in another bald-faced lie.

The cat hates this shitty food.

the cat has claimed the window sill.

the cat has made more cats and they need homes.

The cat will appear at the Royale on Thursday along with 

   the Dakota Danzig Trio.

the cat is lighting out for the territories.

the cat asks that you direct all inquiries to the attorneys.

the cat scratched hell out of the drapes

   while you were indisposed or out with that idiot again.

The cat is hip to your petty deceptions.

the cat refuses to serve in this, or any other war.

the cat is in love again, no wait, well possibly.

the cat has signed no papers, sworn no oath, made no pledge.

The cat thinks the bird will be fine without a head.

the cat has bendy bones and second sight.

the cat has forgotten your name again.

The cat is into avant-garde.

the cat sweeps all awards.

the cat cannot be seen with you anymore, its impossible.

the cat says wake up wake up wake up.

the cat is about to barf on the Persian,

knock your Peabody off the shelf,

and run hell-for-breakfast down the hallway like a lunatic.

Such are the ways of the cat.

Behold them and do not interfere. 

Dollies

 Mama dress you all in lace

smack you hard across the face

loves to seem so fair and fine

serves your dollies turpentine

Daddy left by fast express

to take up with a baroness

who cries because her roses died

watered with formaldehyde

Chalking signs on sidewalk blocks

a bloody hen, a happy fox

when it rains the neighbors say

the chalk sticks rise and walk away

Now you're grown with one desire

to set your mama's house on fire

and dance across the blackened beams

to serve your dollies cakes and creams.

Salty

 We meet one last time

reluctantly, like castaways

not quite resigned to a diet of bugs

and scrawny seabirds.

I take an astrolabe out of my bag

and you dangle a sextant from your hand

as if it were the neck of a dodo.

We ignore our plates and order no drinks

though the room pitches and yaws in the gale.

I lift my peg leg right up onto the table.

It's made from a piece of my mast

that fell before your showy cannonade.

The yellow parrot I have engaged

is out to take you for all you're worth.

he argues elegantly in curse words and patois

while doing an inventory of every rolling doubloon.

"You Shanghaied me!" we accuse in unison,

pointing fingers like surgeons probing a wound.

Nice try, but I brought an extra eye patch just in case.

So here we are, sitting at Mike's Deserted Island Cafe,

gaunt, weak, half delirious, brandishing the tableware

and setting fire to our own grass huts, because

we are both angry, and gutshot, and flailing in the water,

shoving each other off the last floating barrel

still redolent of the wine we once shared with a smile.

An Older Gentler World

 It's an older gentler world

inside this song,

given birth by a Herco Flex 75 pick

with sleepy monkeys in the trees

waiting for enlightenment.

I'm high from a bass line,

going downstream on religious waters

where nuns and parrots appear and disappear

above and beneath the somnambulant surface,

casual whispering gods whose guitars

are touched

with sweet divinity.

Poet

 You asked me where I live.

I said I live in someone's garage behind a cat's ear.

I live inside a book where the pages smell of furniture polish.

I live at the edges of a memory of your aunt's house years ago.

I live on the surface of the sun and the appliances keep blowing up.

How about you?

You made a weird face and walked away curling your lip.

So, I answered for you.

You live in a graveyard and lick the frost off tombstones.

You live in a dog's mouth and bite the postman to taste blood.

You live in a penny on the train track and kiss the wheelsets.

You live in an auctioneer's gavel and catalog the successful bids. 

I say these things at your back. You're cute when you flinch.

___________

An almost total reworking of a poem from 2017.

When They Come For Us

 In a cramped gov't office

let our affair begin. 

I shall publish my passion

on an illegal press in the basement 

of an abandoned apartment complex

run by a nice foreign couple.

They had to flee

one step ahead of an inflamed mob,

but who now tend window boxes

and play cello duets.

Undress for me

like a chrysalis.

Speak to me

through a paper cup

and down a long string to my heart.

When they come for us--

having already disposed of the foreign couple--

we will sing,

our song enhanced by the ropes

around our throats,

Our dignity flying proudly

like a banner

or a prayer flag

or a balloon man at a car dealer

Until we kiss,

infuriating our tormentors

and made to dig our own graves beforehand

with love trinkets,

and our bare hands

as if making love or committing homicide.

Be Good

 You know,

how does a person get to that place?

I mean,

you're born,

someone loves you,

you find a place in the world and take each step until

there you are,

looking like GI Joe,

blowing the brains out of a smiling woman in a mom-car

then sauntering on

like a cool breeze.

Bad as it was

bad as the lies about it are

bad as the blood all over the stuffed toys and the airbag were,

the thing that made me finally cry, and scream,

and not know how to contain what I felt

was the "before" image

of the pet dog in the back seat.

How does someone get up in the morning,

slip into their army man bullshit,

and go blow away a smiling woman with her dog?

Jonathan Ross, how did you get there

with a gun in your hand,

her death on your head,

and a pet dog rolling away with its dead mom at the wheel?