we will rent a Tuesday afternoon
and a wedge of window light.
I will read myself out of a book,
and there I will be--
all that I never knew,
between breaths and heartbeats,
set before me like the colors in a Persian rug.
In a beautiful body,
I will run myself through myself
and out of myself,
through every age and into your arms,
but darling,
you will have already changed your name
and forgotten me.
_______
I think I'm pretty confused here but I see a good spot right in front of the window. I guess I'm going to jump up there....Do nap under the sunbeam : )
ReplyDeleteOh! What a beautiful beautiful house!! I love how your thoughts flow from renting an afternoon and some light to reading out of a book (you read yourself out, so true!!!) and to the colours of the rug and through you! Ah! That's how we think!!!! So beautiful, Shay! I'm gonna share this!
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this.
sad .. how could she forget you
ReplyDeleteThe idea of renting a Tuesday afternoon and a wedge of window light...what a wonderful concept.
ReplyDeleteThe difference between reality and dream blurs, only to come back cold and hard at the finish...how we dream ourselves as remade for/in the other, yet the Other is always just that--a separate and incomprehensible truth we may never understand, only love, a process which drags us through all our transformations to a goal that we may never comprehend. A beautiful journey, in this case, despite the tears.
ReplyDeletebig sad sigh.
ReplyDeleteI will read myself out of a book,
ReplyDeleteand there I will be--
Oh, if only! :-)
I just read your article on free verse yesterday, which was fantastic. This is a perfect example of using grandiose, metaphorical language to capture emotions.
ReplyDeleteI love that instead of renting a house, you're renting an afternoon and some light. Obviously these are impossible things to rent---but perhaps they are even harder to obtain in the midst of our busy lives. You're borrowing/stealing/renting time and nature so that you can completely focus on each other. Easier said than done!
The fourth line could go in a few directions. Perhaps you are literally reading aloud to her, pretending to be one of the characters. Perhaps you never existed in this world but you've become real by stepping out of a book, a magical creature come to woo her. Perhaps she is the book and you will read so much that you will lose her (as in the expression ____ myself out of ____, like "I talked myself out of a punishment" or "I backed myself out of a corner," or in this case you're losing something you really want to keep).
Regardless, the speaker is coming to life and full color.
I love the third stanza. The speaker is giving absolutely everything to have the heart of the beloved.
To me, this is about a married couple. The husband is the speaker and he's been "dead" all this time. But when he finally comes to life and gives all of himself to his wife, it's too late. She's had enough and is already divorcing him, changing her name.
Another possibility is that the speaker is wooing someone who is getting married.
And the most extreme case is that the speaker is stalking the beloved, who is so frightened she must change her name and identity to get away from the speaker. :)
But I'm sure in your mind, these are sweet words about an unrequited love or a love shared that you just cannot keep in the end. I absolutely love how many stories can be seen here! And all your language is fantastic.
I love the imagery of you being set before yourself---as if you have come into your full potential and you're just standing back admiring yourself, taking it all in. The third stanza might be about a sword---being the sword that stabs and slaughters your own self. Through every age. Ouch. That's a long time to agonize. This speaks of storybook love that repeats through the ages as people are reincarnated. They must always find each other again, only to be ripped apart again.
In the light of reincarnation, perhaps the name changing refers to death. Maybe by the time you reach her, she is dying, soon to be reborn with another name. Through the ages, you are chasing her, always knowing the terrible outcome that awaits you both.
Excellent work. And I'll stop blabbering on now. ;)
Fireblossom.. I have come to know you through your poems, and if there's one thing I can be sure of, it's this - No one who's met you can ever forget you (that even rhymed!)
ReplyDelete:)
And yes, I know you don't back yourself out of a corner. I don't know where I came up with that one. :P How about talking yourself out of a job? People actually say that, don't they?
ReplyDeleteUgh! Those last lines are so sad... Despite my cynicism, I secretly hope for a happy ending every time. Then the song... pretending to care.
ReplyDeleteHowever the emotion of the piece has affected me, I cannot escape from the sheer beauty of your set-up, the time that is rented, the slant of light, the idea of running through oneself over and over again... It's all a big wow from me.
This turns everything (including me!) inside out and upside down. Gorgeous in every way.
ReplyDeleteShay...
ReplyDeleteA brief, pensive afterthought, that says so much.
I wish all women were so concise!
In that wedge of light self can fin self and it is always better when we find it in context to our experiences...good or bad. Great write FB Always love to visit your place...
ReplyDeleteI did not read this poem. I drank it. Swallowed it and felt it go all the way down. Delicious.
ReplyDelete...I will rent a Tuesday afternoon!
ReplyDeleteShay... this will stay with me all day and I love the whole beautiful poem. I can choose to let such exquisite words inspire me or send me into fits of creative despair...
I'll let you know which I choose. Sigh.
... I am going to grab Margaret and together we are going to launch a new business 'Renting Tuesdays.' Watcha think? <3
ReplyDeleteDo you find a portrait/picture and free verse from there, write the poems and then find the portrait, or both? I love your words regardless.
ReplyDeleteHeather, I do it both ways. For this poem, the poem came first, then I found an image. I just as frequently do it the other way, though! Thanks for asking.
ReplyDeleteI am poised to dream by reading your dream..."In a beautiful house, we will rent a Tuesday afternoon
ReplyDeleteand a wedge of window light." Love that!
Helen... ha! Love the idea :)
ReplyDeleteReally nice the way this is laid out confusing but yet so understandable. Like it
ReplyDeleteHow slight the perfect moments in time, and fleeting their passing, gone before you know it. I love the idea of bathing yourself in a wedge of window light!
ReplyDeleteThe idea of renting not only the room but the light, the access to books... then turning yourself inside out and running amok... only to end on that sad note. I cannot imagine anyone forgetting you, Shay. I really mean that.
ReplyDeleteLove, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/02/18/599-wheres-my-pencil/
such a wonderfully hopeful and beautiful opening, coming to such a sad close.wonderfully done.
ReplyDeleteReading yourself out of a book - beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI think she will not have forgotten -- unless a time traveler too. She is anchored by your words, image, song and will defy your expectations just like I come home to myself daily. Of course, lots of times the Susans of my past seem like separate entities . . .
ReplyDeleteI loved the shifting reality of this, but hated how the ending shifted and you were forgotten. :\
ReplyDeleteSo poignant and beautiful, with the window light, the renting of a Tuesday afternoon, and the sad ending. Beautifully done. kiddo!
ReplyDeleteSo intriguing and captivating through and through and inside out.
ReplyDeletegosh, i wanted to be there, badly, till the end. now i'm happy to be where i am.
ReplyDeletethis is my favourite piece so far. i will specifically not change my name and forget it.
ReplyDeleteYou've done it again, you've left me speech less. I raise a glass to you.
ReplyDeleteI love the ebb n' flow of your poem!
ReplyDeleteI going to rent a Wednesday for art ;D
Fun to read, though I too didn't want a sad ending!
Beautiful and sad. That third stanza is a killer!
ReplyDelete