Monday, February 18, 2013

In A Beautiful House

In a beautiful house,
we will rent a Tuesday afternoon
and a wedge of window light.

I will read myself out of a book,
and there I will be--
all that I never knew,
between breaths and heartbeats,
set before me like the colors in a Persian rug.

In a beautiful body,
I will run myself through myself
and out of myself,
through every age and into your arms,

but darling,
you will have already changed your name
and forgotten me.
_______


35 comments:

Mr Puddy said...

I think I'm pretty confused here but I see a good spot right in front of the window. I guess I'm going to jump up there....Do nap under the sunbeam : )

Chhavi Vatwani said...

Oh! What a beautiful beautiful house!! I love how your thoughts flow from renting an afternoon and some light to reading out of a book (you read yourself out, so true!!!) and to the colours of the rug and through you! Ah! That's how we think!!!! So beautiful, Shay! I'm gonna share this!

Thank you for writing this.

Daryl said...

sad .. how could she forget you

Sioux said...

The idea of renting a Tuesday afternoon and a wedge of window light...what a wonderful concept.

hedgewitch said...

The difference between reality and dream blurs, only to come back cold and hard at the finish...how we dream ourselves as remade for/in the other, yet the Other is always just that--a separate and incomprehensible truth we may never understand, only love, a process which drags us through all our transformations to a goal that we may never comprehend. A beautiful journey, in this case, despite the tears.

TexWisGirl said...

big sad sigh.

Jinksy said...

I will read myself out of a book,
and there I will be--

Oh, if only! :-)

jasmine said...

I just read your article on free verse yesterday, which was fantastic. This is a perfect example of using grandiose, metaphorical language to capture emotions.

I love that instead of renting a house, you're renting an afternoon and some light. Obviously these are impossible things to rent---but perhaps they are even harder to obtain in the midst of our busy lives. You're borrowing/stealing/renting time and nature so that you can completely focus on each other. Easier said than done!

The fourth line could go in a few directions. Perhaps you are literally reading aloud to her, pretending to be one of the characters. Perhaps you never existed in this world but you've become real by stepping out of a book, a magical creature come to woo her. Perhaps she is the book and you will read so much that you will lose her (as in the expression ____ myself out of ____, like "I talked myself out of a punishment" or "I backed myself out of a corner," or in this case you're losing something you really want to keep).

Regardless, the speaker is coming to life and full color.

I love the third stanza. The speaker is giving absolutely everything to have the heart of the beloved.

To me, this is about a married couple. The husband is the speaker and he's been "dead" all this time. But when he finally comes to life and gives all of himself to his wife, it's too late. She's had enough and is already divorcing him, changing her name.

Another possibility is that the speaker is wooing someone who is getting married.

And the most extreme case is that the speaker is stalking the beloved, who is so frightened she must change her name and identity to get away from the speaker. :)

But I'm sure in your mind, these are sweet words about an unrequited love or a love shared that you just cannot keep in the end. I absolutely love how many stories can be seen here! And all your language is fantastic.

I love the imagery of you being set before yourself---as if you have come into your full potential and you're just standing back admiring yourself, taking it all in. The third stanza might be about a sword---being the sword that stabs and slaughters your own self. Through every age. Ouch. That's a long time to agonize. This speaks of storybook love that repeats through the ages as people are reincarnated. They must always find each other again, only to be ripped apart again.

In the light of reincarnation, perhaps the name changing refers to death. Maybe by the time you reach her, she is dying, soon to be reborn with another name. Through the ages, you are chasing her, always knowing the terrible outcome that awaits you both.

Excellent work. And I'll stop blabbering on now. ;)

Mixi said...

Fireblossom.. I have come to know you through your poems, and if there's one thing I can be sure of, it's this - No one who's met you can ever forget you (that even rhymed!)

:)

jasmine said...

And yes, I know you don't back yourself out of a corner. I don't know where I came up with that one. :P How about talking yourself out of a job? People actually say that, don't they?

Kerry O'Connor said...

Ugh! Those last lines are so sad... Despite my cynicism, I secretly hope for a happy ending every time. Then the song... pretending to care.

However the emotion of the piece has affected me, I cannot escape from the sheer beauty of your set-up, the time that is rented, the slant of light, the idea of running through oneself over and over again... It's all a big wow from me.

Mama Zen said...

This turns everything (including me!) inside out and upside down. Gorgeous in every way.

G-Man said...

Shay...
A brief, pensive afterthought, that says so much.
I wish all women were so concise!

Herotomost said...

In that wedge of light self can fin self and it is always better when we find it in context to our experiences...good or bad. Great write FB Always love to visit your place...

Poet Laundry said...

I did not read this poem. I drank it. Swallowed it and felt it go all the way down. Delicious.

Margaret said...

...I will rent a Tuesday afternoon!

Shay... this will stay with me all day and I love the whole beautiful poem. I can choose to let such exquisite words inspire me or send me into fits of creative despair...

I'll let you know which I choose. Sigh.

Helen said...

... I am going to grab Margaret and together we are going to launch a new business 'Renting Tuesdays.' Watcha think? <3

Heather Fields said...

Do you find a portrait/picture and free verse from there, write the poems and then find the portrait, or both? I love your words regardless.

Fireblossom said...

Heather, I do it both ways. For this poem, the poem came first, then I found an image. I just as frequently do it the other way, though! Thanks for asking.

Susie Clevenger said...

I am poised to dream by reading your dream..."In a beautiful house, we will rent a Tuesday afternoon
and a wedge of window light." Love that!

Margaret said...

Helen... ha! Love the idea :)

Tatius T. Darksong said...

Really nice the way this is laid out confusing but yet so understandable. Like it

HermanTurnip said...

How slight the perfect moments in time, and fleeting their passing, gone before you know it. I love the idea of bathing yourself in a wedge of window light!

sharplittlepencil.com said...

The idea of renting not only the room but the light, the access to books... then turning yourself inside out and running amok... only to end on that sad note. I cannot imagine anyone forgetting you, Shay. I really mean that.
Love, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/02/18/599-wheres-my-pencil/

Abin Chakraborty said...

such a wonderfully hopeful and beautiful opening, coming to such a sad close.wonderfully done.

Lynn said...

Reading yourself out of a book - beautiful.

Susan said...

I think she will not have forgotten -- unless a time traveler too. She is anchored by your words, image, song and will defy your expectations just like I come home to myself daily. Of course, lots of times the Susans of my past seem like separate entities . . .

Buddah Moskowitz said...

I loved the shifting reality of this, but hated how the ending shifted and you were forgotten. :\

Sherry Blue Sky said...

So poignant and beautiful, with the window light, the renting of a Tuesday afternoon, and the sad ending. Beautifully done. kiddo!

razzamadazzle said...

So intriguing and captivating through and through and inside out.

Marian said...

gosh, i wanted to be there, badly, till the end. now i'm happy to be where i am.

The Superfluous Blogger said...

this is my favourite piece so far. i will specifically not change my name and forget it.

Kimolisa said...

You've done it again, you've left me speech less. I raise a glass to you.

Ella said...

I love the ebb n' flow of your poem!
I going to rent a Wednesday for art ;D
Fun to read, though I too didn't want a sad ending!

Lolamouse said...

Beautiful and sad. That third stanza is a killer!