Saturday, May 30, 2015

The Barn Cat's Betrayal

Bjorn, at Real Toads, wants us to play a game called Bout-Rimés. He gives us the end rhymes with which we are to compose a sonnet. I hate sonnets. Mine is called "The Barn Cat's Betrayal." It isn't about a cat. Enjoy.

I chanced to lie, but by no chance was caught,
A fetch in a mirror ball; and to him
With the cheek to spin what he has not got,
I say, "The more you grasp, the more I dim."
While my double poses riddles, throwing shade
And dirge down old bricks where the ivy goes,
His sister finds the handsy barn cat's glade--
Me in disguise, with gift of bird and flows
Of every feather, that in stillness lies.
Mirrors shatter, spins cease and turn to stone;
What never draws breath likewise never dies.
Send up a song in funereal tone
And dig the empty caskets from the lawn--
Our gift of dust--for love, for told, for gone.

18 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

I hate sonnets (writing sonnets, that is) too. There is still one that sits--victorious--in a notebook of mine. Unfinished. Smirking. Its arms crossed smugly in front of itself.

Of course, as usual, your sonnet makes the reader think it's what you write every day.

Outlawyer said...

Hey Shay--the end is especially strong here and the wonderful line of what never draws breath never dies--that is what makes afraid to draw breath deeply sometimes--but what never draws breath also dies--the human conundrum! Thanks. k.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

I particularly love, "The more you grasp, the more I dim." And all the rest of it too. :)

brudberg said...

Oh the hate of sonnets is hardly visible ;-). The end couplet is most excellent, but there are many other phrases here that I really love, your use of the given words always surprises.

Sanaa Rizvi said...

This is an excellent Sonnet Shay :D
Beautifully penned..!

Lots of love,
Sanaa

Kerry O'Connor said...

The sonnet is not a form I would normally associate the name Fireblossom with - but, my oh my, you have done a fine job with this twisty tale. Thoroughly enjoyed.

hedgewitch said...

It's taken me *years* to be able to write a good sonnet, and hear you just pour one out like a delicious cold drink of battery-acid lemonade. I am really impressed at what you did with the end rhymes(especially the dreaded 'glade') and I especially like this part from the middle:

While my double poses riddles, throwing shade
And dirge down old bricks where the ivy goes,

Throwing shade and dirge, indeed. *pulls out a handful of hair sprouts* --and we were definitely on the same page about the lawn. Loved it all, Shay, the inexorable progression, which is very sonnet-y, especially.

Mama Zen said...

Wow, girl. If this is what you can do with a hated sonnet, you've GOT to write some haiku!

Helen said...

MZ says it best!

Hannah said...

Nice riddle-type poem!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Yup. What MZ said. Next personal challenge should be Shay writing haiku. I loved this, especially the lines Hedge quotes......

debispoems said...

I'm with Rosemary: "I particularly love, "The more you grasp, the more I dim." And all the rest of it too."

Daryl said...

you make poetry look like art .. wait, it is art

Margaret said...

Always admire the way you turn words on an end - pair them in unexpected (and brilliant) ways. Really enjoy the beginning line - it sets a tone of risk and "I don't give a damn". This poem puts the old fairytales to rest, I'd say! Well done.

Thanks, again, for filling in for me.

R.K. Garon said...

Well done!
ZQ

grapeling said...

yeah, you hate sonnets as much as they hate you. which is why they curl up beneath your pen, all cozy like. ~

C.J. said...

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this. It's incredible, Shay. This is what I'm picturing, literal or figurative:

This woman is at a dance, party, or club with her boyfriend. He starts dancing with some other chick and ends up sneaking off with her. I do believe he's been sneaking off with her for some time, because I think she's pregnant. It sounds to me like by the end of it all (as indicated in the first line and the closing), the speaker has killed her man, his lady on the side, and their baby (which "never draws breath" and so "never dies").

Obviously, lots of interpretations are possible. This is just what I see.

Jinksy said...

That's a cracker of a first line! *smiles*