The Partridge Family, ruined and violent,
take up residence in what's left of the ark,
parked in Noah's cracked, weed-lined driveway
next to his run-down split-level.
David sings, "I Think I Love You" with heavy irony,
as he shovels old giraffe shit into a wheelbarrow.
Danny Bonaduce walks up and pops him one,
shouting, "shut your pie hole, you pinhead motherfucker!"
The police come.
Again.
Susan Dey does Noah for the rent,
her life a mountain of failed wrinkle creams.
She can't believe she made an idiot of herself over David.
She can't believe she sat there shaking a stupid tambourine
when she could have learned to shred on guitar.
Their tv show is an ancient memory.
All their out-of-date clothes rot in resale bin hell.
Susan's hair looks like shit no matter what she does.
It is starting to rain,
and the animals are gone.
Reader, behold the rising waters,
the fallen stars.
Weep,
and start rowing.
_______
That was brilliant, well written!
ReplyDeleteAnd what to do when the past can no longer blast, but just leaks like a sieve and sinks...still, who can ever really, truly forget giraffe shit?
ReplyDeleteyou're hilarious. :) and twisted, too.
ReplyDeleteFinal stanza could be an epitaph!
ReplyDeleteFrom the opening, all the way through: Brava! REAL nice meditation on disillusionment, the passage of time, the illusions of fame....and memories of that HOT Susan Dey!
( '>
/))
//""
ALOHA from Honolulu,
ComfortSpiral
=^..^=
The sad thing is, I can sing along--I still know the lyrics--with many of their songs.
ReplyDeleteHow hilarious. And so spot-on. (David's a real mess now…)
Damn straight and put your back into it!
ReplyDeleteGrinning. I refuse to buy their clothes, at any thrift shop!!!! I sympathize about her hair. Mine is the same.
ReplyDeleteWho but you would think of writing anything about the Partridge Family, and especially in conjunction with Noah's Ark!
ReplyDeleteI think this is delightful and am most grateful for the laugh, reallytruly.
The last lines seem very appropriate today, given the recent flooding going on in some of the states. I imagine there are some considering building an ark!!!
ReplyDeleteAw, come on, get happy!
ReplyDeleteROTFLMFAO!!!
ReplyDeletedidn't David Cassidy have an affair with ol' mommy dearest, Shirley Jones? oh, no, she was his step-mother in real life. maybe it was Florence Henderson and one of the boy actors playing her sons on The Brady Bunch...
can i be in the middle square? no, wait, fuck! that was the Brady Bunch, too...
okay, i know i've got this one right ~
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!
what? that's the Brady Bunch as well?
what the fuck did the Partridge Family do?
♥