There was a wall made entirely of glass, and a bird with a tether on its leg.
There was you, in your olive raincoat, and a sky of grandfathers, complaining.
There were lilacs, dogwood blossoms, a wrought iron screen hung from a fence peg.
It was April in the finest chill of dusk, a Wednesday with an hour's light remaining.
There were angles to the gables, to the downspout, and the feeling beyond naming
That I carried in a Gladstone bag kept hidden with the gewgaws
Preserved and cared for like that bird, to rise toward home when he does.
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linked to dverse oln.
This tear will finally fall...and these words will fly, as I have faith the bird will,too. Every image in this tears at the heart, a box that once opened lets out the sky, and can't be closed. The spacing makes the rhyme as soft and subtle as fog on the cheek. Beautiful, powerful and straight to the soul of things. One I will not forget, and one of your best.
ReplyDeleteYou have painted a feeling and scene in poetry that touches the reader in such a way that I will carry the deep longing with me for a long time. This is gorgeous my friend!!
ReplyDeleteThe sharp details, the precision of the moment is like a pushpin on a life map. It really makes me wonder what happened then and what's in bag. Very atmospheric.
ReplyDeleteDelightfully whimsical, yet charged with hidden depths. I love the idea of 'a sky of grandfathers, complaining'!
ReplyDelete"There was you, in your olive raincoat, and a sky of grandfathers, complaining."
ReplyDeletethat reminded me of my grandfather, always complaining, and a deep gray disposition. "There were angles to the gables" everything in this poem has a slant to it, i like that. well written
So many incredible images in this deep poem. I really felt this one.
ReplyDeleteReally beautiful imagery used, I especially loved the phrase "he feeling beyond naming
ReplyDeleteThat I carried in a Gladstone bag kept hidden with the gewgaws"
Who is this?
DeleteThis is incredibly powerful! The poem in its entirety really speaks to the reader and connects on a deeper level 💝
ReplyDeleteSeven sentences, one meisterwork. Mind blowing. Thank you
ReplyDeleteI would love to read your poem here, but you don't have a link back to dVerse as is required if you read my "prompt" or directions for OLN. I'm delighted that you're here....but we always ask that folks either TAG dVerse or add a link to https://dversepoets.com at the end of their post. I'll check back in a bit to see if you've added it. Perhaps you simply forgot? If there's not a link added, I'll have to delete your post from our site. Please do add a link!
ReplyDeleteI will comply.
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DeleteThis is an amazing collection of images!
ReplyDeleteI wonder how you care best for a tethered bird... wouldn't that be to remove its tether?
ReplyDeleteThank you for adding the tag to dVerse! And I hope you join us often. I found this a fascinating read....and the circling back to the bird in the last sentence, amazing. I am smitten with this line
ReplyDelete"
There was you, in your olive raincoat, and a sky of grandfathers, complaining." A sky of grandfathers....what an amazing juxtapositioning of words! This just stopped me dead and I sat there looking at it and wondering...LOVE this line!
a sky of grandfathers, complaining.
ReplyDeleteI love this line. It has such great imagery!