There were
a fox
in the wildflowers,
a coyote
in the weeds,
and me
lying in the lilies, waiting.
The fox offered
certain pieties
that the red-necked chicken
spoke tacitly against.
The coyote carried
a lucky amulet
that the rabbit might be missing
could she rise from his belly.
There was
a soup
strained from April,
a blues
blown from
scents of oranges
and me
lying in the lilies
waiting.
_______
For Word Garden Word List--Yusef Komunyakka
Music: Anouar Brahem The Astounding Eyes of Rita
OOOHHHHHHH, this is so wonderful : the animals in their perfect settings, you in the lilies, waiting.......a delight to envision, and the lines roll so sweetly down the page. I love it.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sherry. It's seems exactly right for my longest and strongest supporter to be the first in line at the revival of the List. So glad you're here.
DeleteThis is so wonderful!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you indeed, Jo.
DeleteAbsolutely incredible. Even to have come up with one of these descriptions would make your mind worthy of our awe, but to offer one after another and to link them so cohesively is really astounding. Each stanza and image deserves its own moment of praise. I have a number of times highlighted and stopped to reconsider, as no one portion truly bests another. It is the whole that is most powerful, that collective pull drawing me to read again and again.
ReplyDeleteMost kind, thank you,
DeleteAnd to be clear, this is anything but sweet. It's about the instinct and skill involved in preying on what you want to eat. These are metaphors, perhaps, for the craft of writing poetry, so as to capture and consume the reader's mind.
ReplyDeleteBingo! Right on the money, straight down the line. Thanks for getting it--all of it.
DeleteI read the linked poem by Komunyakka first, as tho I have read him and admired him in days gone by, it's been awhile since I've actually encountered any of his work. Your brisk but fantastical and pungent take from the list retains a lot of the freshness of his perspective while of course being entirely your own. I don't think anyone else could write so simply and evocatively of " a soup/strained from April," or speak as the soul of a devoured rabbit. Just a splendid poem, Shay, in all ways.
ReplyDeleteAs always, no poem of mine feels complete until I have your comment. Thanks, dearie.
Delete"that the red-necked chicken
ReplyDeletespoke tacitly against."
LOL. About poetry, you write in an interestingly unnerving, yet alluring way to leave us frozen in your sights. Love it.
Thanks, Dora!
DeleteThere is one poet I know and appreciate who can offer poetry as intriguing and mind-bending as this ~~ and that writer is you.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Helen. :-)
DeleteVery evocative.
ReplyDeleteHope the waiting got rewarded!
All the 20 words used in style!
What an eerie scene that makes the reader demand to know what will happen next. The music kind of tells you in a lateral sort of way. The action is slow but some kind of deliberate dance is going on. Love this lines:
ReplyDelete"a blues
blown from
scents of oranges"
This poem is simply brilliant Shay, from the title to the soup strained from April! I love how you utilize metaphors and what you lay before the reader in such a powerfully subtle way.
ReplyDelete“ The coyote carried
ReplyDeletea lucky amulet
that the rabbit might be missing
could she rise from his belly.” - goddam. That’s amazing.
And this:
“ There was
a soup
strained from April,
a blues
blown from
scents of oranges”