Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

An Interview With Lady Death

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Lady Death over fraps at Danny's Coffee Shop. Here is the interview!

Shay Caroline: Thank you so much for agreeing to this. Did you have any trouble finding Danny's?

Lady Death: No, I Mapquested it, so getting here was no problem. But...

SC: Yes?

LD: Well, when I tried to find a place to park, all the meters were expired. 

SC: I hate when that happens.

LD: I know, right?

SC: So, other than the meters, what do you think of our little town?

LD: To be honest, honey, it's pretty dead here on a Sunday night.

SC: You're killing me.

LD: It's what I do!

SC: So...have you always been Lady Death? Or did you have other jobs before this one?

LD: I did stand up comedy for a while.

SC: Oh really? And how did that go?

LD: I died out there.

SC: Of course you did. Anything else?

LD: I worked as a gardener.

SC: How long did you do that?

LD: Not long. I had a black thumb. But as you can see, I found a way to make it work for me.

SC: You go, girl. 

LD: Thanks.

SC: Where did all this happen? Where is Lady Death from, originally?

LD: This may surprise your readers, but I am from a rural area just outside of West Branch, Michigan.

SC: Well now, that is surprising. You look so put together, I would have thought you were a big city girl.

LD: Nope.

SC: Do you still have a home there?

LD: No, I don't. There was a developer who had plans for building a retirement community with a big eighteen hole golf course. He bought the farm.

SC: I think a lot of people picture Death as a scary figure wearing a black hood and carrying a scythe, not as a stylish woman wearing an Ann Taylor suit and heels.

LD: Do you like the look?

SC: Yes, very much. The heels, especially, are TDF.

LD: I saw them and they took my breath away. I had to have them.

SC: Your hair looks fantastic, too. Is that your natural shade?

LD: No. I dyed.

SC: Wow, it looks great. You must get noticed a lot.  Are you in a relationship?

LD: I was.

SC: That doesn't sound good. Can you share?

LD: Sure. It started out beautifully. He told me that, when he first saw me, his heart actually skipped a beat. Several beats, in fact.

SC: That sounds exciting! What went wrong?

LD: The feelings died.

SC: If I had to guess, I'd say that this has happened to you before.

LD: It has. But why dig up the past?

SC: Fair enough. So, if you're not out painting the town, what does Lady Death do when she isn't working?

LD: I'm a movie buff.

SC: Really? That's interesting! 

LD: Yes, I watch upwards of a dozen movies a week.

SC: How do you find time to watch so many?

LD: Well...I sort of cheat. I only like to watch the endings.

SC: It's been lovely spending this time with you, Lady Death. 

LD: Are we done?

SC: We are. I'm sorry to cut this short, but I've got a deadline.

LD: Touche, Shay.

SC: I thought you'd like that!


_______ 


And, in totally unrelated news, just because it's my blog and I can...


22 comments:

  1. never figured Lady Death to be so chic, great dialogue

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  2. MZ stole my line. So I'll just say, quite the slay ride from Ms May Hem.

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  3. Rolling on floor, dying of laughter. ROFDOL

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  4. those are nice heels...bet they are hell on the feet though....

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  5. Shay--You punster, you!

    And I agree with Brian. Killer heels.

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  6. I succumbed to the comedy, laughing so much I thought I breathed my last. Kudos!

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  7. "No. I dyed." That's what Scarlet said. ;)

    Chica, this is worth reading over and over again at bedtime. So fun and witty and LIVELY...I love it!

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  8. Killer interview Shay! And I love the music and MTM!

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  9. Stop you're killing me ... oh wait everyone else said that .. rimshot!

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  10. OMG, this just killed me. I'm dying laughing. LOL! Another great write, Shay. xo

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  11. You are so hilarious. And the heels ARE TDF!!

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  12. Hahaha, I just died laughing too!!!

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  13. bwa ha ha ha ha.....

    {{hope you're feeling better Sista Poet! *hugs*}} ♥

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  14. I love them shoes to death, girl...swear to god

    And this post needs a laugh track and a rim shot.

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  15. I would have thought it was a deadend job, and yet, she is making a killing at it.


    And Cake? You may have executed the perfect blog post.

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  16. Those heels alone would kill me, even as beautiful as they are! I'm glad death has a sense of humor afterall...this was funny!

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  17. Lady Death really steps out in style. Who ever knew? This was so funny, Shay. Perfectly timed, really rich --and deserving a stage and microphone!

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Spirit, what do you wish to tell us?