hail is what you get.
Cold comes down to earth
Like a hard kiss.
Any woman who loves a Gypsy
sets her heart out in the wind.
Your girl's got the sunset eyes, doesn't she,
and the widow's peak you like.
I wouldn't want to tell you your business, girl--
keep dancing like the lightning tree in a gale;
call the sky closer and see what you get.
Turn the tables, sister--
read the five rings on her right hand.
Gold, for when she feels fine and satisfied.
Silver (moonlight) for when she's dreamy.
Turquoise (water) for when she moves in the mystery.
Brass, for when she's bold and her words burn fast.
The fifth is made of bone, with a ruby stone
for when she feels passionate and broody,
a bryndle spirit wrapped in Old Country colors,
a moment's flame between low ash and high smoke.
But you know, don't you,
it is her left hand, held behind her,
that will snap or sate you,
and stir the storm through the ice-white jasmine either way.
for Monday Melting #22. I used the word "slap". Wait. No I didn't. At the last moment I changed it to "snap". The voices told me to do it.
If some of this poem sounds familiar, it is because I was working on it in my previous post.
well, nice to see it actually came together. :)
ReplyDeleteI read somewhere that there's enough gold in the earth to make everyone 5 gold rings (no joke!).
ReplyDeleteQuite a storm, stirred *and* shaken out on the gypsy wind. I like the sunset eyes, the whole third stanza, the middle list which reads like spell ingredients, and the last two, which are sharp and cold and real as a hail storm breaking the windshield. So, I guess I'm saying I like all of it, eh.
ReplyDeleteLove that opening stanza. Even your parody poem turned out to be great! On a totally random note, I couldn't read about a woman with a widow's peak w/o thinking of Cote de Pablo from NCIS. My monster in law spent an entire episode complaining about her hair, saying she looked like Eddie Munster! Now it's a running joke in our house whenever she's on TV.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and brilliant. Amazing how from your hilarious patter yesterday, you fished out the best bits and fashioned a serious poem. You are versatile. I love them both equally.
ReplyDeletep.s. THIS is the weekend I go to hear Emmy Lou Harris sing at the music festival - and my fave gal, k.d.lang. Cant wait!!!! Wanna come? If I can snag her autograph for you, I will.
ReplyDelete"Any woman who loves a Gypsy
ReplyDeletesets her heart out in the wind.
Your girl's got the sunset eyes" ... Shabang. Awesome.
"Turquoise (water) for when she moves in the mystery" ... Love the parentheticals (here and in the previous line).
You know I already loved that fifth stanza, but now you've gone and topped it to the tenth power with the last stanza.
"that will snap or sate you,
and stir the storm through the ice-white jasmine either way" ... This is some of the best poetry I've ever, ever, ever read.
Since we're talking about rings, clearly you're now talking about that traditional ring finger. But a gypsy is anything but traditional. So whether this is about a proposal, a marriage, or a married woman, she's a slapper and she hits hard (no matter whose face she's smacking).
Boy was that "(held behind her)" a smooth and sneaky addition.
"sate you" ... Nice :) I love her. And I'm so glad you took your time on this one. It was worth every second I had to wait. Consider me sated ...
for now.
Oh yes, fantastic framing, using "stir the storm through the ice" at the end to touch back to the beginning:
ReplyDelete"When heat meets high,
hail is what you get.
Cold comes down to earth
Like a hard kiss."
Oh, and isn't a lightning tree one that tends to get hit by lightning over and over again? Is that you? :) It sucks to have a deep soul sometimes.
ReplyDeleteGypsy branch-arms are always reaching up/out so high (dancing) that they're easy to attack with electricity (and cold, hard kisses).
P.S. Always listen to the voices when you write, even if it means you don't use any of the "prompt words." I'd much rather see your voices come out to play.
ReplyDeleteI just love that this poem came together in the end! How awesome and cool is that? We read the process and now the end product, and this is just gorgeous, from the lightning tree to the ice-white jasmine. So glad all five rings made the cut.
ReplyDeleteMade my day, Shay.
Sherry, don't tease Shay. You know she's going to melt when you mention Emmylou, tssk, tssk.
ReplyDeleteWonderful piece Shay, if you can hear me over your slobbering distraction from Sherry's mention of Emmylou Harris.
As always - I'm impressed by your poetry, but never feel qualified to say more than that. :)
ReplyDeleteHow come Emmylou's hair looks so good gray / white?
It came together beautifully!
ReplyDeleteit came together so well .. no surprise here
ReplyDelete"a moment's flame between low ash and high smoke."
ReplyDeleteWhat a well-crafted image.
Oh, Shay!!! I'm so glad your muse got the upper-hand and you followed up with this rockin' poem after the parody the other day!! Really turned out nicely!!
ReplyDeletehow cool to see the final result started in your parody. Complete fruition here. aside from the gypsy rings, I really liked your use of the lightning tree. Viva la
ReplyDeletei absolutely ADORE this! we all should wear rings with real significance! ....maybe you better not tell what yours mean though... you might scare people! {snicker}
ReplyDelete♥♥♥