My New Poem
you sit there and
oh hell, I hate haiku! "The fucking flower/ blah blah blah" Puke. How about something about a beautiful princess? Yes! I'll model her after the lovely and captivating Ms. X, model of feminine perfection!
In the land of the unicorn,
through the flower-strewn fields
came a beautiful princess, who--
oh DAMN, what idiot decided to put steps here! I can't even see them because of all these stupid flowers. If I just--ack! Whoa, fallinggggggggggg! Whew, that was close, I just barely caught my balance in time. *snifffff* Okay, what's that? *lifts shoe* Oh frack, unicorn crap. Ugh!
Or not. I know...I'll try something with deep mystical significance!
The wise and highly respected Swami
kept being undone by vulgar physical matters.
Looking in the mirror one day just before a seminar,
he saw that, beneath his long flowing beard, he had
With no time to spare, he went out and gave his presentation
on the mysteries of the universe,
but at the meet-and-greet afterglow party,
all Swami could think about was the offending flakes.
"Hello, yes, bless you, peace! Namaste!" he said to everyone, but
all the time, he could almost feel the nasty little flakes on his face expanding,
turning his wise visage into a ridiculous snowstorm!
Swami began pretending to stroke his chin thoughtfully,
he was speaking to people from behind both hands,
mumbling incomprehensibly, and half turning away.
"Swami, what's wrong?"
All his years of traveling, learning, fasting and studying,
wasted because of face dandruff!
Calling on all of his resolve, Swami lowered his hands, smiled,
and faced his well-wishers again.
Such lovely pilgrims, how could he have ever...
And then he felt it.
He was going to pass wind, and loudly. Oh no!
Shay Caroline, maybe this just isn't your morning to write. After all, April is done with, not that you even tried to write a poem a day. NooOOoo. 23 poems is not 30. Would Christina Rossetti sit around in her bathrobe, whining "I can't thiiiiiiink of anythinggggggggggg"? C'mon, at least crank out a haiku.
beautiful trash bin
heaped with stinky fish skellies
puts flowers to shame
Aw, damn I'm good!