ooooh, hims so GRUMPY today!
Whassamatta?
Did that last villager not agree with hims's tummy?
Ow! Hey!
Enough with the caveman drag-her-by-the-hair routine!
I just had it looking the way I like it.
*sigh*
You a big, striped, pain in the butt sometimes!
My girlfrens say, honey, that cat gonna swallow you whole.
I say, pffft, hims a pussycat.
See, what if I dangle my charm bracelet in fronta your face?
Eyes left, eyes right, eyes left...
You got such purty golden eyes, pooky.
See this charm?
It's a cat. It's cuzza YOU!
I knew we could handle all this like adults.
After all, you're nearly three.
Tigah in the mangrove swamp.
Tigah want his lunch!
Tigah swipe my Cobb salad.
Tigah, thanks a bunch!
Now, lookee.
If you eat me, Mr. ferocious man-eating tigah,
then I won't be here no more to tell you
ohhhhhh, hims so pretty,
hims so strongggggg!
And blah-dee-blah, don't pretend that you don't lap it up.
Okie dokes, now quit messin' around and kiss me
with that big rough pink tongue.
Exfoliate me, baby!
Put those dinner-plate paws to a good use.
Uh huh!
I think you got a bad rap, dude!
You're no man-eater.
Hehe.
_____
a bit of ridiculous silliness for Helen at Real Toads.
Shay--This was hilarious. Seriously funny. Thanks for making me laugh out loud this early in the morning.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can't imagine why "Top Brass" is still not around. The name, along with the commercial (wouldn't PETA have a fit?) should have made it a long-lasting winner of a product.
big striped p.i.t.b.
ReplyDeleteOh my! Hysterical and I really need to hear you read this! We all do ....
ReplyDeleteIt's the lovely twangy words that makes this such fun to read - and who could fail to adore a person who loved her tiger so much, though I do shudder for her eventual fate.
ReplyDeleteAh, where would we be without our pets--I mean, alive is tremendously overrated. Much giggling ensued with this one, but some liberal lashings of cautionary tale seem to be mixed in there as well.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this! SO much!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, this was fun to read to out loud:~) You had me laughing so hard it was difficult to keep reading.
ReplyDeleteI loved this line: "Exfoliate me, baby!" Hah!!! That's funny.
Be silly more often:~)
You had me at Froshus! :-)
ReplyDelete"Exfoliate me, baby!"
ReplyDeleteNow *that's* something I've never asked the wife. Hmmm.... ;-)
LOL That's one way to tame a tiger..
ReplyDelete"Exfoliate me, baby!" Girl, you funny!
ReplyDelete