Sunday, December 30, 2018


I been sittin here tryna write slang f'Bee-orn.
It's hard, I do'think I USE any slang. 
In Michigan everybody just talks normal, yanno?
I mean, I been thinkin and thinkin.
I had a pop and a glassa melk and it dinnit help.
A nour later, my dog came in.
I said, "Jeet? D'I feedja?" he said no.
So I goddup and feddim and now I'm backa tryna write.
Wen I lived in Texas, they toleme i haddan accent--
that's crazy, THEY had the accent. 
Livinin Michigan is great cos if ya get lost ya just hold up yer hand and point and say "I live right here."
Course there's Yoopers and stuff, but they can use their other hand.
I can't b'lieve I cooden write something.
I'm really gonna have t'take a long look in the meer at myself.
Sorry, Bjorn! If y'ever come to Michigan, I'll make it up to ya.
I can show ya Ford's and Greenfeel Village, and my ciddy, but I cooden write what yawannid.

Ope, almosfergot...this's for Clockwork Ornge at Thamaginary Garden.

I searched a page about Michiganisms before writing this, and was howling with laughter at all the stuff i have said all my life and never realized was a Michiganism until today. For those who need it, here's some translations:

pop=carbonated soda
jeet=did you eat?
D'I=did I
Yoopers=people from the upper peninula
Ford's=Ford Motor Company. 
Greenfeel Village=Greenfield Village & Henry Ford Museum
yawannid=you wanted
ope=Michigan for "oops" or 'excuse me"



Toni Spencer said...

I love this!!! Puts me in mind of East TN's jeet jet? And, kini hepu? I don't really care to.... funny witty stuff Shay Curoline, as we would say in NC. It made me bout fall oat with laughin, fall oat of the hose...cause they blur their ows around here. Still not used to it. Only the squirbo's paws remine oat in the cah po't. but thass ho-kay. The trash panda will get ther rest later too nite. iffn the ferals don't git it fust.

Old Egg said...

I agree, this read very well indeed. Curiously in Australia although there is a traditional vocabulary used in most states there are some state specific words as well.

brudberg said...

Love this... sometimes slang doesn't sound like slang or dialect when you're immersed in it... I'm sure that my dialect could be made to sound like a remote place in Minnesota with my Swenglish

Mama Zen said...

This is hilarious! Here, any sort of carbonated beverage is Coke until named otherwise.

Sherry Marr said...

This is hilarious for sure. I love it. "Jeet?" LOL. Love the list of Michiganisms too.

Kerry O'Connor said...

I smiled my way through your monologue..