STOP ALL WORK IMMEDIATELY PLEASE READ AND COMPLY
- City building permit not obtained/posted.
- only union certified workmen may be hired for your project.
- project (decorative stairs) is not uniform. All risers must be level. Tripping hazards will be cited.
- hand rails are required as per city safety regulations
- construction in unzoned areas must be approved by board
- all noxious plants, weeds, and unmown grasses must be removed. After six (6) months, the city will intervene and the cost added to your taxes
- proof of residence/authority to alter property must be presented. See Table B for necessary documents.
- stairs to nowhere in a bunch of trees. really?
- wtf is your problem?
- wtf is wrong with you?
- please correct these issues no later than ten (10) days after receipt of this notice. Failure to do so will result in fines, forfeiture of lands, and/or public hanging.
- Have a nice day!
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for Sunday Muse #132.
The sad part of this is that this is how our society thinks and behaves towards nature. The more comforting part is that there are writers like you to spell it out for us, and make us look into the heart of the machine that is eating us. There is a lifeless conformity spreading like a grey plague of its own, and it must always be driven back by the 'weirdos' who know it's important to keep all the stairs unrailed and the paths wild and free. Loved this.
ReplyDeleteIt is a crazy world we live in where the rules of man are asinine!! Maybe the ones that enforce them should have to face the consequences! Love this my friend!! Brilliant!!
ReplyDeleteWhy does my brain immediately fixate on who gets taxed if this is unzoned/owned land? There is an entire character here, sitting in their dark car, scribbling on a form they've obsessively created over a several hour period in a quiet office, unable to have any but the most anodyne music so as not to upset any resident in any way (except in the offensive blandness of what they will assume is your personal taste)...and now....someone has dared personality or art or offense? There's a regulation denoted by a neat outline number (10.4b? 7.3c?) under which they will be forced to bring this unruliness into line. There's got to be a way to pipe that awful music from the top riser.
ReplyDeleteWonderfully so many things ... funny/true/overwhelming/anger inducing/bewildering .... no matter I am laughing.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is a wonderful response to the prompt. "This is what Bureaucracy looks like!" Smiles.
ReplyDeleteOn the one hand incredibly sad, on the other hilarious! We do tend to stand directly in the path of our progress, don't we?
ReplyDeletecrumple, crumple, goes the compliance papers as I crunch every start leaf on my way to the top of these redundant stairs. thanks for raising our consciousness. there is power in your audacious ability to quantify the absurd.
ReplyDeletestar leaf . a start leaf may be good too though?
ReplyDeleteI loved that. WTF is wrong with you indeed!
ReplyDeletePerfect!!
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant, Shay. Too close to redundant reality.
ReplyDelete