Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, mirror
on the wall,
who's the fairest
of them all?

THAT bitch?!? Mirror, please.
I ask a simple question and you start trippin'.
Whatever you're on, I hope there's enough for the rest of us, cos
you just got on my bad side big time.

Look, I know
I've kinda hit a bad stretch.
How was I supposed to know that that borrowed car 
had anything stashed inside the door panels?
Mirror,
I've done ninety on that road lots of times,
oh but THIS time there has to be a motorcycle cop.
What's with those stupid sunglasses anyway?

"Hi, I'm a stupid cop wearing stupid sunglasses.
Whip out your license, and registration, please."
I may have protested.
I may have exercised my American right to free speech.
He still didn't have to arrest me and take the car to impound.

I got some night court public defender named Larry.
Really???
And of course, Mirror, the judge has to be this dried up old witch
who looks like she lemon-scrubbed her sink with her face.
"Young woman," she said,
as if I had personally dashed her last hope in humanity.
"Young woman, I hereby sentence you to..."

Mirror, Sally Supermodel would look like shit in an orange jumpsuit.
They SUCK.
And just TRY to get any decent product for your hair in jail.
Why, Mirror, if I hadn't have demonstrated my French trick for Larry,
he would never have helped me escape.
You know that, right?
So stop with the judgy look.

Mirror, I may have picked up a skin problem running through those woods.
It itches.
And I've been living in this utility shed for five days,
talking this kid at Tasty Bird out of a few drumsticks just to survive.

So.
I toss you a total softball of a question.
My old mirror would have known exactly what to say,
the way women do with each other,
building connections, lying our heads off.
Figures I would get the only male mirror in the state.
Where did you come from, anyway?
Boot camp?
Some strip club on 8 Mile Road?
Why ME, God?!?

Luckily, I have my trusty compact.
Watch and learn, dumbass Mirror.
Compact, compact, 
in my hand,
who's the fairest
in the land?

ME!
See? Me. 
Diogenes, did you have your phone out?
Did you capture that Golden Moment?
I AM BEAUTY.
Fuckinay, Mirror.
Fuckinay.
________

for Hannah's "mirror" challenge at Real Toads.

image by Roberta Tocco.

Homily

Transcendence fills the particular--
whether holy or secular--

nobody listens to a fool going on about "mankind"
or global concerns.

Do a million tulips care what you think of them?
What does just one feel like?
Tulips seem made for touch, 
and the curve of a hand is perfect to cup them,
as the sky does the orange-yellow sun in the afternoon.

Seeker, separate the petals with a fingertip--
lean in, let the flower brush the soft skin of your cheek.
Forget the field,
the road beyond,
the sun, the stars--
remember this scent, the one that captured you,
the one you will remember years from now.

There is a place, The Garden of Our Lady,
and that is where you should spend an afternoon
finding by feel
the gorgeous and singular meeting point
like a little humble wafer
where earthy and heavenly combine like prayer and answer,
placed on your lips by a benevolent spirit.
________

for Hannah's "haunted hearts" at Real Toads.

 

This Face

take a good look at this face
cos pretty soon all you gonna see is my ass
swingin' on out of town.

i got brothers, uncles, male cousins here
like a truck brought 'em in and left 'em.
this is
(gruff voice)
their
patch
of grass.

take a good look at this face
cos it's the last face someone gonna see
before they meet my big bad appetite.
i run
i run
oh, i would run just because;
so if it brings back dinner,
ain't that sweet.

i got brothers, uncles, male cousins here
who haven't hunted in donkey's years.
they stay behind and mind the brats
like a pack of english nannies.
(scornful voice)
y'all can hush
eat my leavins
eat my dust.

take a good look at this face
cos i'm gone like the water when the sun rise high.
some lazy dog gonna meet this shinin'queen
and do just what i tell him, right down to a tee--
he just don't know it yet.
so get outta my way, and goodbye old pack,
hello new.

now i'll tell you what you're gonna do...
take a good look at this face.
_______

for Hannaballistic's Transforming Friday!

In African wild dog packs, it is the males who stay together, and the females who leave to find new packs. Usually, only one dominant female breeds, and the fights for this right can be savage and costly. These gals are no Country Club Cathys. They are tough, and wily, and I think they are very cool.

Don't forget, Coal Black & Poison Apple's new cd "Molly Macabre" will be available January 22nd exclusively at Pete's Dog-N-Suds on Highway 5!