Friday, June 17, 2011

Serpent

I was longer than desire,
Than regret--
Longer, even, than a bible lesson.

I had no legs to stand on,
But I had backbone--
Miles of it.

I swung low from my branch like a rain cloud;
Falling was inevitable--
At least I kept it graceful.

"See how smooth I am,
How sinuous," I whispered.
"And with a tongue like you wouldn't believe."

Eve laughed,
And spun her wedding ring.
"Don't be a shit head," she cautioned me.

My red and yellow diamonds made me look like a playing card;
I posed a wager with myself--
Rattling as innocently as a baby.

Swinging my pretty heart-shaped head near her ear,
I said all the unprintable things
That a girl might like to hear.

She blushed, bit her lip,
Shivered, then said she had to go--
"At least take this apple," I urged, wrapping myself around her shoulders.

I knew from the start how special she was,
How divine, how discreet, how venomous--
She took the fruit in her fine sharp teeth,
And, smiling,
Filled it with promise.

 _

14 comments:

the walking man said...

Fine story telling Shay!

Brian Miller said...

ah sweet temptation...so about those unprintable things....nicely spun shay

Lolamouse said...

So that's how it happened? Can't say that I blame her!

ellen abbott said...

oh, good one Shay. longer than a bible lesson? that's some long snake. the snake was a symbol of knowledge for the goddess. that's why the christians turned it evil.

Sioux said...

"...didn't have a leg to stand on...miles of backbone...with a tongue like you wouldn't believe..." The play on "falling from grace" was brilliant. As usual, Shay, you can drag me into anything--including a bible story--and keep me entranced.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Beautiful thank you! Needed this beauty today!!! PS...I'm back!!!

hedgewitch said...

I never heard this version at the Calvary Baptist Church. You wrap the serpent symbol round your poetess shoulders like a lace shawl, my dear...if shawls had fangs...and your characterization of Eve makes her finally the heroine in that old story instead of just the scapegoat.

Lynette Killam said...

Oh, this is brilliant, Shay! As one who finds snakes incredibly beautiful, I was captivated by your soft, sensuous description, and could clearly hear the gentle rattle of seduction...your vivid writing style brings it all to life!

Thank you, too, for leaving such kinds words on my Oreo post. He was a fine boy and we miss him terribly, so your sweet message was a comfort...:)

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I love your version SO much more than the original. Especially love "slung low from my branch like a rain cloud" and "a tongue like you wouldnt believe" made me smile.......clever girl!

Lynn said...

An alternate version. :)

K9friend said...

A little spine shiver from that one. As usual, very nice!

Pat
www.critteralley.blogspot.com

Other Mary said...

I LOVE this 'twist' on the original!

Tabitha said...

whoa.

Mama Zen said...

This is exactly what happened. Exactly.