Too bright the light
While the succubus sleeps.
Too harsh, too hard
The concrete skin of sun-bitten streets.
Give her the moon.
Give her horned creatures standing silent in the silver light.
Give her owl's eye and raven's claw in velvet pouch of night.
Give her a home in a deep-scored bone.
No one dreams well while the world burns bright.
No whisper can survive the stabbing beak of noon.
Let the succubus wake when the river runs black,
Reflecting sinking stars that flow ever slowly down.
Give her the moon and your silver-lit dream.
Leave your hair spread easy, and a lantern on the boom.
Kiss her in the darkling depths,
Her sweet deep-blue renown.
_____
painting: The Lorelei, by J.W.Waterhouse
linked to One Shot Wednesday


31 comments:
I would love to live in that bone. A beautiful, resonant, magical piece, my friend, that only you could write.
just don't feed her because then she'll never leave...
but seriously, Shay
this is a work of art.
beautiful.
rene
lovely shay...the night is much more the time to prowl or frolic...esp when its damn 102 here today...half my fingers melting...i am typing with my teeth...ok just being silly...i cant speak as eloquent as you...
i always feel like i'm stepping into a gorgeous gothic world when i read your words.. lovely
Sigh. Another incomparable poem. Just lovely......"the concrete of sun-bitten streets", "give her horned creatures standing silent", "give her owl's eye and raven's claw",and "the stabbing beak of noon". See what I mean? NO ONE can write like you do.
I agree with Hedgewitch. Only YOU could write something like this. So many gorgeous lines, Shay.
This poem is the definition of "grandiose". It feels as if you're trying to trap an entire world in the brambles and branches of three stanzas. I carefully wound my way though the words, scratched my arms and legs on the talons of your thoughts, and emerged on the far side with a contented grin.
Tonight, I raise my glass to you.
This is really beautiful. That third stanza made me cry.
Darn, I must be all kinds of shallow. I'd rather just have a little box of Godiva chocolates.
I think I want to be a succubus and hang out at Danny's.
Like Keith Richards sd., "nothing interesting happens where the light is too bright." Amen and amen to fending off Phoebus Apollo's too-brilliant spleen (he killed the Delphian snake at, you said it, high noon). Not many good poems I know of hold up in the brillance, either, dependent as they are upon sea-depths and moon-mojo. The succubus has the cold sea for a heart, loves our blood for its warmth. This is just the sort of steaming goblet of V8 juice she prefers. Glub glub. -- Brendan
♥
I love the concrete skin of sun bitten streets. Great writing!
Wow...just fabulous! You have become a must read for me. Great writing!
why thank you shay...and hey, your first drink is on me...
You are indeed a gifted writer... this is lovely.. thanks ~
Visual realms easily become tactile realms in this beautiful poem!
Shay, beautiful.....great write!
Love this poem. There certainly is something about the night!
Teresa
meet you in the dark, dark streets, Shay...
Aloha from Waikiki;
My new blog posts are still not updating in blogger/reader OR links on others' blogs
So I ESPECIALLY appreciate visits! (too pushy?)
Comfort Spiral
><}}(°>
> < } } ( ° >
Dark and exciting. Indeed lets see what she wants at least...
Dark and mystical. So cool.
A dreamy, magical piece. Well done!
Pat
www.critteralley.blogspot.com
I love the mythical flavour of this poem - like the story has been conceived on an Olympian scale.
This feels like an incantation. Absolutely beautiful.
You know... I have to spend time with a highly evolved succubus on a regular basis. Not a good deal. Not a good deal at all.
give her the moon - I should say soooo
the world of night is much more interesting then the one seen so clearly in sunshine. it's wonderful how many of night's denizens you have met. another amazing poem. excuse me while i go read it again....
Agree with Dani, night is much more beautiful than morning I think :) Your words transported me to that world! Thank you, Shay..
My One Shot ~ A Poetic World
Its so lovely to see the beauty of the night in the lantern lit space and the moon lit sky... loved it.
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/07/whispers-cuckoos-song-and-smell-of-love.html
This makes me never want to see the daylight again! Enchanting.
Post a Comment