Que sera, sera
was fine for the fifties,
but now there is Natalya the psychic.
Be nice to her.
Feed her, take her to bed;
whatever it takes,
she can pull visions from out of thin air.
She knows if you're gonna fall down the stairs,
but if she likes you, she'll take your arm,
smile like a Russian Blue,
and say, "Honey,
let's go down in the elevator."
Natalya the psychic
will know if you're faking.
Don't tell her you love her
if you're lying.
Pianos fall out of the sky every day,
and she'll send you on your way
without a blink or a word of warning
if you've been telling tales and screwing with her heart.
fuck her sweetly on a Sunday morning
when you should be at church.
Pour the most inventive, smoldering, sincere confessions
from your lips to her ear,
as you move over her, easy, like cream over corn flakes.
Do these things and you'll have the love of a Russian Blue.