Sunday, November 18, 2012

Saph Says What

Like the old record should have said--
hit me, babe.
I'm nothing but a bell girl,
nothing but a plain spoken girl.

Hang me babe--
haul down on that hemp.
Swing me babe,
and I'll sing it, like truth down from the mountain top.

Ring me babe--
with a Claddagh or a Labrys;
or deny, and deal with my silence--
no more sugar on a Sunday morning, no more sweet talkin' tongue in the bell.
_______

for Marian's Music Challenge: "Soon Enough", the music of Aimee Mann. I struggled with this; it took me three days and a near-total rewrite, but I finally have something I am happy with. Here's a Til Tuesday song that I used for inspiration.

...and also the Doors song I referenced in the poem. Robbie Krieger wrote this song as "Hit Me", but Jim Morrison refused to sing it that way. If you listen carefully, you can hear that the band had some fun with it as they chant the old Ajax laundry detergent jingle "stronger than dirt" at the end.

I'm adding these images, as several people have mentioned having to look up what I was writing about.

Claddagh ring

Labrys ring.  

18 comments:

Helen said...

So worth the wait for this ...

'Touch Me' my all time favorite Doors piece ... stronger than dirt! 'Light My Fire' a close second.

I struggled a bit with the prompt as well ... could not get the memory of a few psychodramas I participated in during a year+ of therapy out of my mind. Interventions, hell ya.

Mama Zen said...

Oh, wow. I really like what you did with this. Gorgeous undercurrent of rage.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Ring me babe-
with a Claddagh or a Labrys..

Two awesome lines. I love the play on ring in context of the bell, and the idea of commitment which seems lacking. Then two words I had to check up on in one sentence! I love that Claddagh ring (I wants one) and juxtaposed with that huge weapon..I would say the choices have been made pretty clear.

hedgewitch said...

I knew the Labrys was a two-bitted axe, so I first read the other as claidheamh mòr,(claymore) then looked it up and found the correct word/meaning. This poem is a bit mysterious for me, though I think we often ring like bells from the reverberations or blows of others. Thanks for the factoids on that Doors song, too--I doubt it would have been the FM hit it was with Hit Me as the chorus, but I like it that way better, somehow.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Love it! Especially the closing stanza. The rings are so gorgeous. Lisa needs one of those! "no more sugar on a Sunday morning, no more sweet talkin' tongue in the bell". Wicked good.

Margaret said...

Didn't really dig "'Til Tuesay", (I suppose I did in the '80s...) but I love the back story of how "Touch Me" was supposed to be hit me? Such a classic "C'mon, now touch me babe..." and it almost didn't happen...

and I'll sing it, like truth down from the mountain top. I like that... but don't understand the whole thing (sorry, I'm a dimwit). Is this about abuse, but a woman who expects it? (I really am curious and am trying to learn)...

Marian said...

yeah baby, ring me with your labrys!
sorry for all the struggle, Shay. though this came out well in the end. what happened to Damaged Girls? hah, now THERE'S a question.

HermanTurnip said...

Holy shoot. I never realized that that's what they were saying at the end of "Touch Me". Guess you learn something new every month or so...

Shawna said...

This seems overtly sexual to me. Ring my "bell," or deal with my silence. And that means no more sugar (or tongue) for you. Very playful, fun, and flirtatious. I like that in the image, "the gloves are off." You tell it like it is. :)

Shawna said...

The "ring me" stuff has to do with the fact that the girl you're talking to has rings on her fingers when she "rings" you---big fat ones. Or maybe I'm way off.

Sioux said...

So much struggling and wrangling of words...so many rewrites? she said, her voice brimming over with glee. ;)

That reminds me of the Ed Sullivan-Rolling Stones story. I think I'm remembering it correctly. Ed Sullivan was aghast at the lyrics "Let's spend the night together" and demanded they sing instead, "Let's spend some time together." Of course, Mick stuck to his guns, and Sullivan said they'd never reappear on his show.

That really ended their career, didn't it!

Lynn said...

A lot of thought went into this, huh? I so admire you for writing poetry - you are the only poetry blog I visit and hope you don't mind that I don't write good comments. :) I always read it though and get it (most of the time.)

Lolamouse said...

Wow, Shay. I had to read and reread this one several times. I may be totally off, but to me it speaks of not only committing to but publicly acknowledging a relationship as a true act of love.

Daryl said...

need to re-read this a few more times ... each reading leaves me wanting more

Susan said...

Wonderful! I never thought of a Labrys as a ring, though I love how you managed three separate symbols of marriage here. That said, there surely is some complaining about marriage equality here and some sexist joking (unless, of course, the abuse is a come-on in consentual play).

Ella said...

Wow you gave us so many layers! Wonderful Shay...
so many rings to reflect on~
All this rings reminds me of how many acts there are in relationships!
Thought provoking ;D

Buddah Moskowitz said...

How often do I refer to your writing as lovely? Not enough! Loved this.

myheartslovesongs.com said...

glad Morrison refused to sing "hit me" ~ love the song this way!