Wednesday, December 25, 2013

From the Big Book of War Haiku : the War on Christmas chapter

Divine plan in place
and reward at God's right hand
but first: thorns, tree, dice.

your Santa's too black
mine, too much gay apparel
no free stuff, you bum.

something you don't want
I scored it on Black Friday.
next year re-gift it.

Christmas brag sheet comes
everybody kicking ass.
good for you, assholes.

the milk jug Santa
my ex's crazy friend made
on my door each year

see Uncle Billy
lose the wad again. Really???
must be here somewhere.

I so hate haiku
but love the haiku prompter
though she be evil.

Top photo: Catblossom places herself beneath the Xmas tree as Catgod's gift to humanity!

For Words Count with Mama Zen at Real Toads. She goes out of her way to torment me.

Merry Christmas to all my readers. Just to prove that my view of the holiday is not entirely jaundiced, I leave you with my favorite carol; and yes, I like Celine Dion sometimes. She's a little over the top and sings her heart out. Kind of like the silly chick who runs this blog.




Loredana Donovan said...

Is that your cat? I love that picture!

hedgewitch said...

These are so Christmassy! And a Merry Freaking Christmas to you, dear Shay, and to Catblossom.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Ahhh! But you are the dark mistress of haiku!

These are great fun, Shay. Merry Christmas to Catblossom (I tried to tell her but she is so busy posing she didn't notice me waving.)

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Best xmas gift ever - haiku from Fireblossom! If you live long enough, anything can happen, hee hee.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Only MZ could coax a skein of ku from the fire... Blossom. Merry etc. ~

Susan said...

And then you over-achieve. You can't help it. Have a great week or so into the new year.

Jim said...

Hey Shay, I like this. Unexpected but very true stuff.

Also I had already written mine,
in non-haiku little syllabic form poem,
it was at the top in green.
Four (4) liner, written in two (2);
group of 10-10-10-10's.
Now I've changed to look like this, just for you:

My Christmas morning poem:
Sing a Christmas morning ditty,
Sing a Christmas morning love song.
Jesus loves children of the world,
Jesus loves all of us today!!!


Robert Bourne said...

hahaaa.... curse the Haiku.. but now I will have to try...

Helen said...

This must be a first, a last and an everything in between! Merry Christmas, Shay.

Lolamouse said...

Cute kitty! A gift of haiku for Christmas-WOW! That is truly a gift of love since we know how you feel about haiku! I especially love the one about the Christmas brag sheet!

humbird said...

Lovely, fresh, unique...Happy New Year, Shay and cat!

Anonymous said...

Well that was a pleasure to read. Glad I discovered this site. Hilarious. I enjoyed your follow up commentary as much as the haiku. :)

Susie Clevenger said...

Now this is keepin' it

kaykuala said...

Sock it to them, Shay! Say it as it is and say it quick! Christmas brag sheet, wow! Chuckles!


Anonymous said...

Well, I'm rather with you on this one. But I'm lucky in that no one in my family really expects too much of me at this point--so very nice. Wonderful humor as always-take care, k.

Marian said...

but the gay apparel saves the season! happy boxing day! ;)

Gillena Cox said...

*•. ¸*•.¸*•.¸*•. *•.¸ ¸.•*¸.•*¸.•*¸.•*¸.•*
*... *...*...*░ HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!░* * *...*...*
¸.•* ¸.•*¸.•* ¸.•*¸.•* *•.¸*•.¸*•.¸*•.¸*•

Kay L. Davies said...

Shay, you crack me up.
Catblossom looks lovely.
And I tried to answer your message on the Toads page, but I was rejected. Not dejected, however, because I fully intend to read the book by the three of you (so much talent in one place, it's scary) and I have Marian's and Susie's, too, not to mention Night Blooms by somebody-or-other.
I hope you had a lovely Christmas and that the new year is good to you, my dear.
Love, K

Mama Zen said...

And, my work here is done . . .

The one about the Christmas brag sheet? Pure gold.

Margaret said...

The third and forth are hysterical. I actually think you had a GREAT time with these… not so bad after all - but you will never admit it ;P

Merry Christmas. I have been pretty much absent for about a week - will be 'round later and catching up - probably on New Year's Eve as I have no plans - and that sounds LOVELY to me as my kids have been wearing me out :)