Thursday, December 5, 2013

No Eskimo

First, warm with words
(not too many. discard old or extra.)
add 2 lips
to 2 lips.
put them in the steamer.

add a cup of kindness
and a tablespoon of cayenne pepper.
whisk in a whisper.

take a head of baggage,
then cut away most of it with a sharp knife.
add two cloves of Mata Hari
and a dash of Roller Derby Queen.
shake it.

mix one finely grated anticipation
with hey batter batter from the softball girls.
place over a low flame for 20 minutes or until her voice thickens.

fold in one set of clean sheets,
slowly increase heat.
Marlene Dietrich til it reaches an internal temperature of 160.
Bettie Page any excess.

finally, sprinkle devilish looks over the top,
add ground temper for seasoning.
sweeten with oh honey.
temple whore to taste.
no eskimo.

(serves two)

for Izy's out of standard challenge at Real Toads. 



TexWisGirl said...

you're so inventive.

loved the 'hey batter batter'. :)

Mama Zen said...

This is just brilliant. Purely brilliant.

hedgewitch said...

Lots of fun, lots of heat, and a recipe for just what to do on a cold winter night, when you don't have an pre-warmed igloo handy. My favorite part starts with 'place over a low flame for 20 minutes or until her voice thickens..' and pretty much doesn't stop.

Isadora Gruye said...

love love love. And really this is worthy of more words, but sometimes, it's like DAMN, poem be good. And anything more seems like grandstanding. so in summation: love love love, you clever girl.

Anonymous said...

with MZ - brilliant. F'n brill. smokin. damn. ~

HermanTurnip said... eskimo. :-)

Can you stir in an extra helping of Marlene Dietrich?

Sam Edge said...

too many great lines - so creative and crisp FB.

Margaret said...

One of a kind! Smiled the whole way through… and I agree. Don't waste my time with the boring stuff. Ha!

Daryl said...

i hope this is on the menu at Danny's

Helen said...

Out of standard .. out of this world!
Mata Hari and Roller Derby Queen, match that could only be made in your (meaning YOUR'S) imagination.

Anonymous said...

The juxtapostions--pepper and kindness, Dietrich and Page--are virtuoso things. I agree with the wise and wonderful G; this is clever and then some, but not in such a manner where it's clever for cleverness' sake, where it becomes the tail wagging the dog. There's winsomeness and warmth here, and it ain't all the pepper.

TALON said...

Stunning, Shay!

Nara Malone said...

Warm and spicy, perfect for this time of year.

Lynn said...

This is awesome. :)

G-Man said...

Just a friendly recipe' reminder.
Substitute Spanish Fly for cayenne pepper!!!
You'll be rubbing more than noses
Have a Kick Ass Week-End FB

Sherry Blue Sky said...

OMG. Too wonderful!

Susie Clevenger said...

Goodness, what a recipe! Love it!

Lorraine said...

Yeah I get that had a bit of it myself last night, anyhoo absolutely adore your header, I want my off to look that...and it won't damn, let's dance

Lorraine said...

that totally came out wrong but hey I ccan dance...oops

Kerry O'Connor said...

I love the recipe approach you took with this poem. The things you cook up in your kitchen!