Friday, December 25, 2015

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty's real name was Veronica and she was doing just fine,
wearing silver bangles and selling crafts and woodwork and stuff
from her shop on the corner of Cool and Funky.

Then this prince kisses her
like maybe he was running for office
cos he kept saying "!"
despite the fact that she was 23 and curvy as a mountain road.

Well, after that she just couldn't stay awake.
She'd sway between the displays, knocking stuff over and mumbling.
The prince kept calling, 
but that just made her worse--
she curled up in the window and made the cat run the store.

Pretty soon her voice mail filled up.
"Ronnie? It's mom. Are you okay?"
She wasn't. Never had a kiss bored a woman so thoroughly.
The cat tried to help by jumping on her,
and dropping toys on her face, but nothing could stir her.

Then one day, Ronnie's friend Chloe,
the serial killer from the coffee shop next door, stopped in.
"Oh fudge," she said as she took in the conked out chica.
So she went next door and got the Succubus, 
and together they each took an arm across their shoulder
and dragged the bored babe over to Danny's. 

God the waitress took one look and put on a fresh pot.
Ronnie's cat came strolling in the open door and sat down licking its paw,
knowing that everything would be all right now.
Later, deep in conversation with the kitten Giuseppe Verdi,
he revealed what had happened.
God, who speaks Cat, heard the whole thing.

Wouldn't you know, just at that moment,
here comes the prince, flashing his pearly whites,
but he barely had time to duck before a hail of napkin dispensers came his way.
The Queen of the Vampires, in black panther form, leaped
and bowled over old Princey, then dragged him out the door with her teeth.
Chloe the serial killer stood in the front window,
smirking and waggling a sign that read,
"Danny's reserves the right to refuse service to anyone."

Anyway, I'm happy to say that the Danny's girls
were able to bring Ronnie back from the edge.
They sure are hip, ain't they?

So, Merry Christmas from God and Denise (waitresses), The Queen of the Vampires, the Succubus, Chloe, The Dark-Haired Chick, Savanna the Teenage Runaway, the kitten Giuseppe Verdi, and everyone at Danny's Coffee Shop!

For Get Listed at Real Toads. I used "corner", "edge" and "sleep(ing)".

Image: Christina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil.



Anonymous said...

Saved from Y-gene by the belles! It's a Festivus miracle!

hedgewitch said...

I so wish I lived closer to Danny's! So many times i could have used a little pick me up from Chloe and the babes---mocha frappuccino for me, please, and hold the type O. (But LOTS of whip cream.) I love it when you open up the coffee shop, Shay, and I especially loved 'God, who speaks Cat, heard the whole thing..' Merry Whatever and bah humbug.

Kerry O'Connor said...

I adore the about turn you did on the tale, and how cool that the whole of Danny's Coffee Shop gang came over to wish us a Merry Christmas!

Hope yours was smashing, Shay.

Magaly Guerrero said...

Coffee, friends and cats are the things miracles are made of.

This was so much fun, Fireblossom. Thank you for the fantastical sing-song cheer!

Happiest Holiday Season to you (and the gang). ☼

Cloudia said...

Holiday SPECTACULAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Warm Holdiay ALOHA to You,


Sherry Blue Sky said...

Best xmas story ever!

Mama Zen said...

A Danny's for Christmas! My day is complete!

Outlawyer said...

Now this is no Starbucks. Thank you, Shay, for the pick-me-up. I am so glad that God speaks cat, when not waitressing, and that the world is safe from boring kisses. Thanks and hope you had a merry. k.

Anonymous said...

If taht is what happens at coffee shops, I must start going! What a delightful read!

Gillena Cox said...

LOL, what a write


Much love...

Sioux said...

Shay--This is sure to become a holiday classic.

grapeling said...

Ha! Danny's demons don't delay, do dey?

Sorry for taking so long to get back - been working insane long hours for weeks now. Always love these visits to the diner. Thanks for playing... and happy new year! ~