We have your stooge, the bank manager,
and are providing a steeper incline for her than her stupid NordicTrack ever did.
She misses Hubby,
her curtain climbers,
and their matching pure breed dogs bigger and dumber than trash trucks.
Imma give her back her glasses, poor thing.

If you want your stooge, the bank manager,
back the way we found her, you will publish our manifesto.
I want the New York Times on the line,
not your wind-up doll of a hostage negotiator.
Negotiate this:
Listen close. Hear that?
One less loan officer in the world.
Imma shed a great big tear.

You have an hour, one hour exactly to publish our manifesto.
We want to see it as we wrote it,
not redacted and full of ads to subscribe to the fucking NYT. 
Our Swedish friend was here with us,
and suggested some edits. 
Our Swedish friend is the one we sent outside to kneel on the pavement
with his hands tied and the bomb belt on.
Please shoot him.
Imma decline his edits, and yours. We good on that?

We are sick of:
rape culture
corporate insanity
sanctimonious cowards
fuckwit presidents
tiki torch wing nuts
extremist imbeciles.
It's time to bring some order to the chaos, so publish our manifesto.
As is.
In the New York Times.
Within the hour. 
Or imma go off.

We would hate for your stooge, the bank manager,
to die because we overfed her, poor little goldfish.
We started with a rag, but she's still hungry, I can tell.
Our California friend is calming her
by reading her the manifesto.
Check it out while we're waiting, and tell your SWAT team of armed editors
to stand down
or we all go up.
Check it out and let me know what you think.
Come close, whisper me your thoughts,
and I'll respond, candidly and strictly entre nous, with my Kalashinikov.
Imma woman; I think and think and think and think and think.
By the time I act, 
you'll never see it coming.
for Bjorn's "manifesto" challenge at Toads.


Sioux Roslawski said…
Isn't the whole 4th stanza about Trump?

What a way to say goodbye to 2017...
brudberg said…
Ha.. I would never suggest any edits... let's publish the manifesto now... but as far as extortion goes, an overfed bankmanager will not make it.

Impeach sounds closer than ever.
Cloudia said…
Applause, my favorite poet!!
Kerry O'Connor said…
Imma woman; I think and think and think and think and think.
By the time I act,
you'll never see it coming.

I feel this! Chin up ... and off we go.
Sherry Blue Sky said…
"Imma shed a great big tear". Laughed. Out Loud. Grinned delightedly all the way through this. I seriously think the New York Times should publish this. You need a MUCH bigger platform. Maybe the anti trump group on facebook would enjoy this. But we realize you and I are probably already on a list somewhere for all our fake news about how deranged he is. Love the list of what we are all seriously sick of. Especially the fuckwit president. Thanks for making my day.
tonispencer said…
Yeppers. Imma gonna nail this on the door of the Orange faced one...
Angie said…
Hell ya. I saw it coming. I saw it going. And I’m part of the inside job right there with you making manifesto demands with the biggest fricking smile dripping like some kinda purple punch lipgloss I don’t ever need cos my mouth is perfect exactly as is yours full of fun & fury & fierceness. To make a farce out of life is full-board full-throttle Thelma & Louise. I loved this way toooo much as evidenced by my rip-roaring laughter at this colossal conceit that I TOTALLY believe. Cheers to a good ride, free fortunes, and unredacted new shit
Angie said… the new year 🥂
Brendan said…
And with a strafing burst of AK47 rounds, Wonder Woman bitchslapped the New Year. Buckle up, turdlings.
hedgewitch said…
A strong voice, and a clear one, that cuts through the fog of chit-chat idle booshwah and states things the way they are--too many of us keep our mouths shut, too many of us have a manifesto we know we'll never see published. This one speaks for us all, all the silent, indignant, helpless ones who watch in dismay and amazed fear--and the fact that it is not just about the protagonists, that it has winners and losers and real life stakes, just makes it more real, and more tragic. If only we could find the way to make this proclamation stick!
You made my night! I particularly love the idea of the SWAT team of armed editors getting their come-uppance.