Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Loves Me / Loves Me Not

 I must now consider, I suppose,
that I have failed again
to do the right thing,
to puzzle out what's expected of me.

I didn't make your bed
deep enough, it seems;
and it's like you said...
before your head full of leaves
and purple-ebony hand on the grass.
Will I always fail you?
or can I fix us, at last?

My mind is a little spider on the edge of a cup
filled with blue rain where in awful dreams I scramble, 
all eight legs feeling in the air. 
You rose, didn't you, to exchange our different slumbers?
You came to me, down the path, softly disintegrating
though my anguish never does.
I breathe for both of us the smoky air of loss.

I have fallen short again, like a sky never holding sun rise,
a pale after-image, watery, foul,
not worthy of this place where grackles strut like Aztec kings.
I have brought the orchid, and the lily
to place in your eyes to disguise my ugliness with lovely visions.
Forgive me for what I have done, and how I have failed.
I am barefoot, like a twin
and will wait here--the least I can do--
making of your rags and sinews my costume of chains and rings.
_______

For Get Listed at Real Toads. I have used all twenty words.


 

13 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, not enough eloquence to say how deeply i love this poem, especially the mind being a little spider, cup full of blue rain, legs feeling the air. Superlative.

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  2. Nothing like a dead lover on hand. This puts me in mind of the Rollingstone cover with Jim Morrison in the front: He's hot! He's sexy! He's dead! I loved this

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  3. I am amazed at what you have woven out of four little words, Shay! I love the one-sided conversation, particularly:
    'I didn't make your bed
    deep enough, it seems;
    and it's like you said...
    before your head full of leaves
    and purple-ebony hand on the grass';
    'My mind is a little spider on the edge of a cup
    filled with blue rain where in awful dreams I scramble,
    all eight legs feeling in the air'
    and
    'I have fallen short again, like a sky never holding sun rise'.

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  4. This is an incredibly sad but beautiful poem of loss and sadness, yet telling of a relationship that sadly did not work.

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  5. Every word is perfect, every image exact and I love this:
    "My mind is a little spider on the edge of a cup
    filled with blue rain where in awful dreams I scramble,
    all eight legs feeling in the air."

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  6. I loved it all, each word. But when I reached the spider on the edge of the cup, it seemed to pause, take a breath, get down, get serious, what a write!!

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  7. Your poem is so much bigger than the listed words - you convey emotions which many have difficulty grasping. It speaks of the humility which is in itself an elevation of the heart that knows how to love.

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  8. Shay--This is the perfect poem for me right now. My mouth (my comments) seem to get me in trouble, and sometimes "sorry" is not accepted. A few of your lines really hit home.

    And your labels... A little Elton John and a little Carole King?

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  9. What beauty, introspection, heartbreak, regret pours through this. You made me feel the agony. This is so beautiful Shay.

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  10. Wow! That spider image is crawling around in my head. Every word of this poem is perfectly placed, and vivid enough for a painting to emerge.

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  11. “Desperately seeking flowery eyes.” A brown-eyed Susan doesn’t compare to the lily and orchid. And it certainly wouldn’t fit in at a funeral. I love this poem. All it’s artful renderings of falling short. This is WHY I love It

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Spirit, what do you wish to tell us?