In Case Of Typhoon

"Lion Afternoon" by Jacek Yerka
In the event of typhoon, 
or other natural upheaval,

the gathering of certain objects and creatures is advised.
Clocks, for their numerical appeal and sense of order;
flowers in vases whose delicacy illustrates contrast;
and lions, generally useful in all situations.

When traveling by public transport, always be sure
that you have fed your lion beforehand. 
Consult with drivers before installing fountains, saplings,
or other decorative additions.

When hosting relatives, serve ham w/ pineapple;
if a lover, light cakes or honey tea.
When arriving as a guest, be sure to bring your own seating and lion,
as your hosts may lack these essentials.

Finally, treat typhoons, tornadoes, landslides and such as equals--
talking down to them or shouting does no good.
Invite lions into your home.
Serve hors d'oeuvres made from antelope or cape buffalo.

Follow these simple instructions and avoid high winds,
use bus and train systems without worry,
and assure yourself of being welcome in the best venues
in tandem with a lion who neither owns you nor is owned.

for Sunday Muse #69. Carrie kindly stepped in for me with this fantastic image, because, like a blithering fool, I simply forgot I was supposed to do the post today!


Carrie Van Horn said…
I love how you have taken all the objects in the picture and brought them into the crazy world we live in! The uncanny instructions of life are both surreal and yet underlyingly wise at the same time just like the picture. You never disappoint Shay! I knew i would love it!! Amd by the way,you are no blithering fool my friend! No blithering fool could write like you!
Magaly Guerrero said…
The tone made me smile a lot. So I needed a few tries before I could read it aloud in a terrible (but very serious) British accent (no idea why). I love the format.

Also, is it all right not to feed one's lion before attending dinners we don't really want to attend?
Fireblossom said…
^^^^Always feed the lion. However, WHAT you feed your lion is up to you. I feed mine a medley of poachers and (faux) gnu parts.
C. Sandlin said…
Flat out love this. I can hear it as I read and the images echo with all that they contain.
Sioux Roslawski said…
How about add body parts of animal and child abusers to the medly of poacher parts?

What a piece, Shay!
Sherry Blue Sky said…
I adore poems with lions in them! This one was highly entertaining. I wish I had a lion to take to tea with me. So much fun watching the wild flare of anxiety in the hostess answering the door! I also love that you feed your lion faux gnu parts. I never would have guessed.
tonispencer said…
What a wonderful PSA. Reminds me of cats I have had in the past - protective they were. Blithering fool? I think the lion would disagree with you. You always write such amazing poems. I love this one. And faux gnu parts, are they plant based like the plant based new whopper? They mos def have my cogitating.
This is brilliant and amusing at the same time. I never travel without my lion.
Doctor FTSE said…
Good to see your work again, Fireblossom.
Loved your poem. Feed the hunters to the lions, I say.
Margaret said…
... I took notes and will NEVER be unprepared again!
Margaret said…
The perfect "etiquette" list. I will never be unprepared again!
Jennifer Wagner said…
*jots down advice* This was so much fun to read.