Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.
Showing posts with label merde. Show all posts
Showing posts with label merde. Show all posts

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Fin De Siecle



Sigmund Freud visits the local tribal casino,

Sits down,

And in his heavy Austrian accent, says,

"Hit me."



Vladimir Lenin, colorless and severe, agitates to have the pot collectivized,

And is thrown out by bouncers.

He makes his way through the strange city,

Boards a train, then transfers to a steamship,

Finally going into exile in Paris.



Consider:

Why does the sight of the ace of spades make certain of the dancers go upstairs together,

Undress,

And fall into whispered discussion of each other's dreams?

Why does the queen of hearts induce silly laughter

And drunken tears?

Why does the nine of diamonds

Cause sudden grim departure,

Isolation,

Suicide?



A former football star and an expensive prostitute are tableside,having a tractor-pull.

As long as she holds him between her fingers like that,

He will burn.

He is confident enough to wear a pink shirt;

Is he a communist?

He certainly dreams of annexing her,

Controlling her media,

Installing a puppet government.



Through all of this,

Sigmund Freud has been losing his shirt.

He is quietly terrified.

The chips have become imagoes,

The dealer a devouring vagina.

He stands up,

Mops his brow,

Trembles.

Oh, Sigmund,

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar;

But sometimes,

It is a baton passed from careless fingers

Into doom.



At a little cafe near the Seine,

Something unusual happens at that very moment--

Lenin sets down his cup,

Dabs his lips with a napkin,

Leans back,

And laughs like a schoolgirl.

The ace of spades is folded inside his bill,

And he cannot control himself,

Cannot, for the life of him,

Stop.

_______

for One Shoot Sunday

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Worldes Blis



In the time of the black death,

There were still little silly white clouds,

Floating overhead like some sort of joke.



On the day of the ergot fungus,

The bread brought visions,

Panic,

And the violent jerks of St. Vitus' dance.



Leave off your washing--

You'll only have to burn it all anyway.

Meet me in the fields,

By the road where the Duchess's carriage lies tilted and empty in the ditch.



I have a half a loaf of rye,

And all afternoon to spend.

Come kiss me.

Use your tongue.

I already know you're contagious, and that I am infected;

We can lie here on our backs,

Watching the clouds, and our hallucinations.



If we don't die first,

I will tell you that I love you.

It's true, but

You can laugh, and blame fever or psychosis,

If you're even still answering me

At all.

______


"Worldes Blis" is a 12th century chant, which says, essentially, "earthly joys don't last for long." You can't really dance to it.

_______



Thursday, December 23, 2010

Learn French In Ten Days



Learn French in ten days
Lose weight without exercise
Learn to love
Your hips, bust, thighs

Learn secrets of New Orleans chefs
Take this test and find romance
Learn to rhumba
Or any other dance

Find your inner goddess
Learn ancient Chinese techniques
Start tonight
And know joy that lasts for weeks

Send no money now
Try it in the comfort of your home
Just stir in our tasty mix
With a little hair and bone

Learn secrets of New Orleans whores
Sleep all night without dangerous pills
Some may experience dizziness
Nausea cramps and chills

Find a buyer for dull remaining years
Have younger lovelier skin
Call 1-800-JZS-CARES
For prompt removal of sin

Learn secrets of New Orleans voodoo queens
Soothe cuts rashes and burns
Be sure to check the box on the right
Indicating acceptance of terms

Get rid of clutter, sell your home
Please write your name on this tag
Make sure to leave all valuables
In this trendy designer bag

Leave that unsatisfying grind behind
Get new flooring for your garage
Let us help you get back to the earth
Pauvre petite, quelle domage!

__________

the last line translates as "poor baby, what a shame!"

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thursday

Thursday arrives in a plain brown cardboard box,

Very early,

And postage due.



I bring it inside--

(I subscribe to these days of the week,

Also to Redbook, Curve, Time, and The Star.)



I open the box and lift Thursday out of its nest of little styrofoam peanuts.

My dog barks at it,

And tries to herd it into a corner of the kitchen.

Thursday speaks:



"Are you already fed up with the work week?"

I chew my fingernail and nod.

"Do you wish it was the weekend?"

I give Thursday my brightest smile.

"Well it isn't, and you have to work today. Not only that, but it isn't even Friday yet."



With a cry, the dog and I both lunge for Thursday,

Intending to do murder right there next to the dishwasher,

But Thursday jumps into a nearby calendar and hides.



The dog and I look at each other.

He whines.

I moan.

We will be having to deal with Thursday all day long.

The dog pees on the tile.

I bang my head against the cupboard doors.

Good morning.

It's Thursday!

_______