Thursday, December 23, 2010

Learn French In Ten Days



Learn French in ten days
Lose weight without exercise
Learn to love
Your hips, bust, thighs

Learn secrets of New Orleans chefs
Take this test and find romance
Learn to rhumba
Or any other dance

Find your inner goddess
Learn ancient Chinese techniques
Start tonight
And know joy that lasts for weeks

Send no money now
Try it in the comfort of your home
Just stir in our tasty mix
With a little hair and bone

Learn secrets of New Orleans whores
Sleep all night without dangerous pills
Some may experience dizziness
Nausea cramps and chills

Find a buyer for dull remaining years
Have younger lovelier skin
Call 1-800-JZS-CARES
For prompt removal of sin

Learn secrets of New Orleans voodoo queens
Soothe cuts rashes and burns
Be sure to check the box on the right
Indicating acceptance of terms

Get rid of clutter, sell your home
Please write your name on this tag
Make sure to leave all valuables
In this trendy designer bag

Leave that unsatisfying grind behind
Get new flooring for your garage
Let us help you get back to the earth
Pauvre petite, quelle domage!

__________

the last line translates as "poor baby, what a shame!"

12 comments:

Caty said...

terrific!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Good one! Your mind never sleeps!

mac said...

And if they can just get your bank account, Honey
Your long lost Nigerian uncle will send you money

Joanna Jenkins said...

How do you do that!?!?! This is fabulous.

You know I'm a huge. Thanks a million for sharing all your fabulous writing with us this past year. I really appreciate it.

WIshing you a wonderful Christmas, xo jj

Kay said...

I see you have been snooping through my inbox! Hope Santa sends you something slightly more sane :))

Merry Chirstmas!

Lynn said...

That last line is just inspired! What a great poem. :)

faye said...

That about sums up the spam for the
past month..

Happy Holidays !!

hedgewitch said...

Apparently you get far more interesting spam than I do. All mine is about enlarging my non-existant male parts, or buying meds. Where have I gone wrong?

LL Cool Joe said...

Happy Christmas Fireblossom!

Mama Zen said...

That New Orleans whores deal is a rip-off. They didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know.

LulĂș said...

I love my hips, bust and thighs...it's my inner goddess I'm unfamiliar with.

Merry Christmas, Chica!

moondustwriter said...

Ceat Dommage - indeed

I really do thing I would feel better if I just emptied my purse of anything significant - care to help???

Love and holiday hugs from the Moon