Sunday, June 17, 2012

Something Smug In Penitence

Something smug in penitence
makes hollow any pardon--
shown in lack of reticence
the smirking, lazy warden

Bars of pretty filigree
with padlocks made from putty
make execution jubilee
and Justice weak and slutty

See your Jesus sacrificed
to make thin soup from bleeding--
you, the puny antichrist
true penitence demeaning.

_______

for Real Toads mini-challenge

21 comments:

Sioux said...

Hey, don't knock that big business. Those TV evangelists are grinnin' all the way to the bank...

Helen said...

A trip to the dark side with none other than Joel Osteen! Gag!!!

Kerry O'Connor said...

No idea what the issue is behind these words, but I damn well felt every one of them. Bitter and satirical to the core!
Your words are so well-chosen, and the rhymes top-drawer.

hedgewitch said...

I love the way you take the essence of this form--a declarative narrative meant to be declaimed, to have a lilt that insinuates into memory--and work it to perfection. And of course, a broadside against a corrupt figure fits right into the bardic mold as well, not to mention the religious bits. As always you show your skill at anything you attempt, Shay.

Now I'm waiting for that perfect haiku...*runs away fast*

Mary said...

I definitely felt this poem, Shay! Loved the way you worked with the form.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Whoa, and whew! This poem could smack the smug grin right off of his face:)

manicddaily said...

Wonderfully done- you use the form as an indictment. k.

HermanTurnip said...

Damn, that's cutting to the meat of it. Please, tell us how you really feel ;-)

cloudia charters said...

Joel is different! He's an encourager. . . . like yours truly.


But I love your sentiment and poem.





Have a GREAT Week

Aloha from Waikiki,
Comfort Spiral
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my heart's love songs on wordpress said...

i know i'm repeating myself, but it's true ~

you may not prefer "form" poetry, but you rock EVERY form you write!

{hey, hedge! i remember Ms Fireblossom writing a trio of haiku once. i'm trying to convince her that senryu isn't the same thing.}

Lynn said...

I don't think much of Joel Osteen either.

Herotomost said...

I don't think anyone could have said this better.....

Marian said...

the word "slutty" in here is perfect!

Daryl Edelstein said...

I know some who are not sham zealots who would benefit from hearing this most wonderful smack in the puss

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Everyone wants to follow Jesus, but no one's leaping up on the cross themselves. Your usual brave and powerful writing, great as always, Mosk

Mama Zen said...

I love this one's sharp, shiny teeth!

Hannah said...

I'm in a big way against those who rob real meaning from spirituality and genuine connection with these money hungry scams. Well-written and in great form, Shay. :)!

Susan said...

WOW! A comeuppance indeed! Now that I have tried the form myself I can see the real achievement here: This is HARD! and you aced it.

Mystic_Mom said...

BANG! You nailed it! AWESOME!

Gemma Wiseman said...

Bitter and bristling music in these dramatic words! Like swords ready for combat!

Ella said...

I get the blister and bitterness!
It is well due...so against everything, it should be!

Well Done!
I saw this shop and thought of you:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TuscanRose