makes hollow any pardon--
shown in lack of reticence
the smirking, lazy warden
Bars of pretty filigree
with padlocks made from putty
make execution jubilee
and Justice weak and slutty
See your Jesus sacrificed
to make thin soup from bleeding--
you, the puny antichrist
true penitence demeaning.
for Real Toads mini-challenge
Hey, don't knock that big business. Those TV evangelists are grinnin' all the way to the bank...
ReplyDeleteA trip to the dark side with none other than Joel Osteen! Gag!!!
ReplyDeleteNo idea what the issue is behind these words, but I damn well felt every one of them. Bitter and satirical to the core!
ReplyDeleteYour words are so well-chosen, and the rhymes top-drawer.
I love the way you take the essence of this form--a declarative narrative meant to be declaimed, to have a lilt that insinuates into memory--and work it to perfection. And of course, a broadside against a corrupt figure fits right into the bardic mold as well, not to mention the religious bits. As always you show your skill at anything you attempt, Shay.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm waiting for that perfect haiku...*runs away fast*
I definitely felt this poem, Shay! Loved the way you worked with the form.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, and whew! This poem could smack the smug grin right off of his face:)
ReplyDeleteWonderfully done- you use the form as an indictment. k.
ReplyDeleteDamn, that's cutting to the meat of it. Please, tell us how you really feel ;-)
ReplyDeleteJoel is different! He's an encourager. . . . like yours truly.
ReplyDeleteBut I love your sentiment and poem.
Have a GREAT Week
Aloha from Waikiki,
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >
> < } } (°>
><}}(°>
i know i'm repeating myself, but it's true ~
ReplyDeleteyou may not prefer "form" poetry, but you rock EVERY form you write!
{hey, hedge! i remember Ms Fireblossom writing a trio of haiku once. i'm trying to convince her that senryu isn't the same thing.}
♥
I don't think much of Joel Osteen either.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone could have said this better.....
ReplyDeletethe word "slutty" in here is perfect!
ReplyDeleteI know some who are not sham zealots who would benefit from hearing this most wonderful smack in the puss
ReplyDeleteEveryone wants to follow Jesus, but no one's leaping up on the cross themselves. Your usual brave and powerful writing, great as always, Mosk
ReplyDeleteI love this one's sharp, shiny teeth!
ReplyDeleteI'm in a big way against those who rob real meaning from spirituality and genuine connection with these money hungry scams. Well-written and in great form, Shay. :)!
ReplyDeleteWOW! A comeuppance indeed! Now that I have tried the form myself I can see the real achievement here: This is HARD! and you aced it.
ReplyDeleteBANG! You nailed it! AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteBitter and bristling music in these dramatic words! Like swords ready for combat!
ReplyDeleteI get the blister and bitterness!
ReplyDeleteIt is well due...so against everything, it should be!
Well Done!
I saw this shop and thought of you:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TuscanRose