Friday, August 24, 2012

Turning Turtle

Days follow nights--
Goddess in Her wisdom arranged it this way,
Divvied up small, with fresh starts at regular intervals,
So that there would not be madwomen running crazy down every boulevard,
A danger to themselves
And to others.

You are dark, you have eyes stolen from three a.m.
And hair full of beautiful nightmares.
I can't touch you enough, can't kiss you
Enough.
You leave.
You say to my dog, "Agent Bosco...take care of her for me."
That will be impossible--
I am a stone well-thrown,
Desiring only to kiss the earth as she rushes up fast.

You are working.
I attend a noon movie, something about The Future.
I have heard of it, but I am a body full to bursting with Right Now--
I want to see that look on your face,
And feel your fingers inside me until I am Jericho coming down;
When I can no longer bear it, I hold your wrist--
Stop, I beg, stop, but The Future is what you decide it will be,
My Avalanche,
My Undoing.

As I am leaving the theater, something terrible happens--
A distracted driver hits a girl;
Her bones break, the thing that was inside her deeper than her skin,
The thing that was always there, the thing that defined her, is shattered.
I know her leg shouldn't be like that,
I stare,
I think, thank Goddess it wasn't me.

Then I see you.
I know that woman, and I know that way you have of leaning close
Just before you say something so profane and wrong
That my knees buckle and I know I'm falling, whether right there or in bed later.
I look back at the girl with her twisted leg and am nearly sick.

Hearts break,
Right Now becomes Never Again,
But I know
And you know
That there are sequels all the time
And stupid girls to drag themselves across the parking lot like so many smashed turtles
Who ache to hear the sea
Before they die.
______

for Fireblossom Friday #10

Note: I don't love Belle anymore, wherever she is. But I did. Oh, I did. 
 

 
 

20 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

she didn't deserve you, obviously...

hedgewitch said...

I've read this twice and still feel like I need to see the movie again. Some of the phrases are just exquisite to the point of being painful, and some are lyric and flying. I especially loved the eyes and hair,two features of the Other that always seem to define and make a focal point of who they are, and the woman in this has a darkness that follows those eyes and hair, to the chilling denouement and finale...and a sequel! that seems just a bit of a hard act to follow.

Hannah said...

Ohmyamazingness, Shay...I'm really not sure I can say much *mouth agape...goosebumped flesh* this is so emotively written...your detail bite and burn like fire and ice...bitter and sweet all at once...wow. Great prompt and your response...yes, breathless.

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

I loved how you jumped from that first stanza straight into
~you are dark
I didn't see it coming and it startled me.
I too, was a stone thrown well~into a frozen river and i agree with your note of belle
Me too, me neither~or so i insist
A very telling tale well done, fb
Rick

Sherry Blue Sky said...

OMG. Speechless. Just too good, painfully so.

Mama Zen said...

The juxtaposition of seeing Belle and seeing the injured girl is just incredible. Amazing, heartbreaking writing.

Mary Jane Bane said...

just so good-so stirring and painful and...gorgeous. I can't say it better than the posts above. You amaze me with your talent. Your words hit home.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Always a danger in giving everything of yourself away to another. At best, one can only hope they know how precious a thing they have, and look after it themselves.

Dulce said...

Written from the heart, as if a diary as if your own book, you, the main character, you, the scriptwriter, you the star.

This is painful, real and amazing beautiful, SHAY!

Susan said...

I have experienced half of this situation, but never the other half--witnessing the smashing of "the thing that was inside her deeper than her skin,
The thing that was always there, the thing that defined her . . ."
This hit over the head message twice, with a young girl physically destroyed to boot, is too much--is enough--for her to see the devil who likes smashing and dropping turtles. Remember--the world was built on the back of a turtle. All turtles (including me and her and you) are necessary and precious.

Helen said...

... 'but I know and you know that there are sequels all the time' ~~ if we're lucky, better than the original!

Amazing, Ms. Shay!!

ellen abbott said...

very nice Shay. I hate those stomach dropping realizations.

flipside records said...

These are my favorites:

"You are dark, you have eyes stolen from three a.m.
And hair full of beautiful nightmares."

"I am a body full to bursting with Right Now"

"until I am Jericho coming down"

"Her bones break, the thing that was inside her deeper than her skin"

"that way you have of leaning close
Just before you say something so profane and wrong
That my knees buckle"

"And stupid girls to drag themselves across the parking lot like so many smashed turtles
Who ache to hear the sea
Before they die"

Fantastic.

flipside records said...

I thought the girl (turtle) being hit was a metaphor for the feeling of breaking bones that occurs when two people split apart, no matter who ends it.

I love the way you put this all on one line to double the meaning: "And stupid girls to drag themselves across the parking lot like so" ... When you say "like so," you are making your comparison clear, stupid girls falling in love are like people and turtles getting hit by cars when they should have just been careful in the first place---look around, watch where you're going, see what dangerous forces are headed for you.

I think "turning turtle" is an expression you've coined for having an orgasm; it also means turning into an idiot turtle who inevitably is going to get smashed trying to make it to water and a life of passion.

You can't experience love without putting yourself in the middle of the road, the most dangerous place to be. And yes, if you survive you will repeat it. :)

Margaret said...

with fresh starts at regular intervals,
So that there would not be madwomen running crazy down every boulevard,

... We've all been there, feeling desperate, hurt, alone. Tragedy makes for great love stories, but I prefer to watch them on the screen, not in my personal life. But,
it does help with shedding a few extra pounds ;P

Fireblossom said...

"Turning turtle" is a phrase used to describe a ship that has capsized and rolled, going hull up.

Carrie Burtt said...

Somehow I have a feeling that your life could be an amazing movie Shay! With wonderful sequels.

Lynn said...

Wow - just wow.

Lolamouse said...

I can't stop reading this one, Shay. It's like an auto accident. You don't want to see it but you can't look away because it's so powerful. Such strong writing. How do you do it?!!!

myheartslovesongs.com said...

damn! you want me to go beat her up or something? just say the word, Sis!

this is just tooooo much! how can you get better than perfect?