Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Two Ways Of Courting Lorelei

I gave Lorelei the usual sweets--
she cursed the stuff and spat;

I charmed the birds down from the trees--
Lorelei played the cat.

I hid my heart, denied desire,
and waited where I sat

to hypnotize, but Lorelei's
too wise, by half, for that.
_______

Exactly 45 words for Mama Zen's Words Count

23 comments:

Roselie May said...

Beautiful poem!

TexWisGirl said...

i like this whimsy!

Buddah Moskowitz said...

I've been there myself, although she wasn't named Lorelei and she wasn't too wise, but I was too dumb.

This was fun, lady. BTW, listened to Laura Nyro today and thought of you. (I also recall I saw her in concert in 1988 - oy, is I old.)

HermanTurnip said...

Fun and fluid. This was an enjoyable read, and I could have used more!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

And each of those 45 words does count, to perfection.

sharplittlepencil.com said...

Great disciple, Mama's rules of 45 or less. Not easy for a blatherer like me, though!

This Lorelei has a pin for bursting bubbles in one hand and a talent for evading what could be real happiness. Loved this portrait of a rebellious - probably love-started - lady. Amy

Cloudia said...

Deceptively simple disquisition upon contrary love objects, professor

hedgewitch said...

I love the rhyme, and each couplet cracks like a whip to make its point. Courting is a baffling and often frustrating game, but the sirens do demand it.

VaNdAnA ShArMa said...

HMM NICE PIECE,,,,

Kerry O'Connor said...

Clapping hands!!
I love this rhyming poem. The best part was I thought the third method might work, but it didn't. This gal's too damn smart.

Kay L. Davies said...

I love this, Shay, especially the last line.
K

Lolamouse said...

I love the name Lorelei! Anyway, this was superb! Each words was just perfect and it was a fun read!

Helen said...

45's never sounded better!

Grandmother said...

To find the way to her/his heart is long pursuit. But so worth it. Sounds like you've met your match. This was fun.

Kim Nelson said...

Loving your departure from typical form, Shay. And Lorelei seems an ideal match, all confident and cocky.

http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/05/02/the-mad-ones/

Maggie Grace said...

I like Lorelei! Lovely unpromptedness.

lia said...

I can't stop grinning over this one. :) Fantastic! I absolutely adore hard rhythm and rhyme. I never knew that about myself, but I'm learning slowly. Excellent. Bravo. Tossing roses. Put it in the sidebar.

lia said...

I love how you snuck in that "too wise, by half" part. If you don't think about it carefully, you think Lorelei got away. But when you factor in that "half," you realize she finally got caught. And maybe even twice --- by half times two, since the title says "two ways." You're a clever little bird to trick her by pulling away. :)

Marian said...

and that was that. ;)

Mama Zen said...

I LOVE this!

De said...

This is FANTASTIC.
She's a sneaky one, all right. ;)

Paul said...

Great little poem and perfect picture to go with!

myheartslovesongs.com said...

or maybe she's not so wise, if she still resists desire?