she cursed the stuff and spat;
I charmed the birds down from the trees--
Lorelei played the cat.
I hid my heart, denied desire,
and waited where I sat
to hypnotize, but Lorelei's
too wise, by half, for that.
_______
Exactly 45 words for Mama Zen's Words Count
Beautiful poem!
ReplyDeletei like this whimsy!
ReplyDeleteI've been there myself, although she wasn't named Lorelei and she wasn't too wise, but I was too dumb.
ReplyDeleteThis was fun, lady. BTW, listened to Laura Nyro today and thought of you. (I also recall I saw her in concert in 1988 - oy, is I old.)
Fun and fluid. This was an enjoyable read, and I could have used more!
ReplyDeleteAnd each of those 45 words does count, to perfection.
ReplyDeleteGreat disciple, Mama's rules of 45 or less. Not easy for a blatherer like me, though!
ReplyDeleteThis Lorelei has a pin for bursting bubbles in one hand and a talent for evading what could be real happiness. Loved this portrait of a rebellious - probably love-started - lady. Amy
Deceptively simple disquisition upon contrary love objects, professor
ReplyDeleteI love the rhyme, and each couplet cracks like a whip to make its point. Courting is a baffling and often frustrating game, but the sirens do demand it.
ReplyDeleteHMM NICE PIECE,,,,
ReplyDeleteClapping hands!!
ReplyDeleteI love this rhyming poem. The best part was I thought the third method might work, but it didn't. This gal's too damn smart.
I love this, Shay, especially the last line.
ReplyDeleteK
I love the name Lorelei! Anyway, this was superb! Each words was just perfect and it was a fun read!
ReplyDelete45's never sounded better!
ReplyDeleteTo find the way to her/his heart is long pursuit. But so worth it. Sounds like you've met your match. This was fun.
ReplyDeleteLoving your departure from typical form, Shay. And Lorelei seems an ideal match, all confident and cocky.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/05/02/the-mad-ones/
I like Lorelei! Lovely unpromptedness.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop grinning over this one. :) Fantastic! I absolutely adore hard rhythm and rhyme. I never knew that about myself, but I'm learning slowly. Excellent. Bravo. Tossing roses. Put it in the sidebar.
ReplyDeleteI love how you snuck in that "too wise, by half" part. If you don't think about it carefully, you think Lorelei got away. But when you factor in that "half," you realize she finally got caught. And maybe even twice --- by half times two, since the title says "two ways." You're a clever little bird to trick her by pulling away. :)
ReplyDeleteand that was that. ;)
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this!
ReplyDeleteThis is FANTASTIC.
ReplyDeleteShe's a sneaky one, all right. ;)
Great little poem and perfect picture to go with!
ReplyDeleteor maybe she's not so wise, if she still resists desire?
ReplyDelete