"Imagine yourself in the safest place you've ever known. Let yourself
sink into the details. Feel the texture, the temperature. See the
angle of the light. Breathe deep . . .
And, tell me about it in 53 words or less."
Okay. Here it is, in exactly 53 words!
"Gift"
She had a voice so right she could make the Moon sneak to meet her on the down low--
So new-car fur-cuffs fine she could make concubines cry and quit for jealous.
But that night, she soothed me sweet,
a mother for the mother-hungry...
the perfect gift, and I
never forgot.
___________
wooo-whee!
ReplyDeleteFrom amazing opening gambit, good no great, to the last drop.
ReplyDeleteAloha
Wowza!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. Perfection. Sigh. "a mother for the mother-hungry". So good.
ReplyDeletePure awesomeness! The words flowed into each other from the first to the last.
ReplyDeleteOh yes!! Add two words and give it to the G-Man tomorrow night! What a gift.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing what an entity in itself a voice can be--some are truly remarkable vehicles for the soul who is carried by them--here we have voice and soul and comfort, and perhaps something a bit hotter as well, all in the same smooth limosine. Lovely, Shay.
ReplyDeleteFantastic job! Anything that can make concubines cry is a-okay in my book. Heh...
ReplyDeleteI need to find a site that has fiction writing challenges. Have you ever seen such a website?
Just freakin' perfect.
ReplyDeleteShay, this is so sexy, sensual... and I can see how this would be your perfect safe place. AND you can play there, too!! Hotcha! Amy
ReplyDelete:)beautiful meaning at the end!!
ReplyDeleteVery sexy love it!
ReplyDeleteAh, the uniquely amazing thing great sex can do. She was a gem.
ReplyDeleteNew-car fine - what a great word choice! Gets so many of the senses right there - sight, touch, smell!
ReplyDeleteShe's too fine to pair with soothing- mothering...you see my heart's conflicted but that's personal...it doesn't lessen the gift or the giver or your poetic rendering which is fabulous, (as always), Shay. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely piece!!
ReplyDeleteI love the way the vowels resound in these lines - gives an underlying poetic sound to your words.
ReplyDeleteAnother one hit out of the ballpark, Shay! Perfection.
ReplyDeletei can see/feel that unforgetableness
ReplyDeleteWoohoo! FB!
ReplyDeleteHow much safer can it get than "soothed me sweet, a mother for the mother-hungry" ?
ReplyDeleteBut I love the description of her voice, and "new car fur-cuffs fine" made me smile. Delightful, Shay!
K
LOVE your safest place, SP!
ReplyDelete♥
I like your idea of safe being a person rather than a place, and love your images!
ReplyDelete53 very impressive words!
ReplyDeleteNice job.
xo jj