Ass baboons cannonball
down every fucking guano-hazed intestine,
jackassy kissass lickspittle macaques,
not odoriferous pyorrheal queasy rhesus shitheads,
thrilling unfortunate venereal wart xpressing yammering zombies.
Generally considered to be the most genteel of the British fukyu poets, Lady Brillow-Wigg shocked Edwardian society when she married a Bantu warrior and bore him thirteen screaming children. Living out her days as an expatriate with a dinner plate wedged into her lower lip for beauty's sake, Lady Constance eventually died at the age of 87 from an overdose of laxative. The loss of this great literary genius is still mourned today.
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Hah!
ReplyDeleteyou're a mess.
ReplyDeleteMy mind as been boggled!
ReplyDeleteLo, I am slain by a most loathsome prick of savage ribaldry.
ReplyDeleteYer killin me, girl.
perhaps it epitomised the poet's own life! thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteNetherparts ... you said netherparts? This is just too funny.
ReplyDeleteI am speechless. (No "L" in the British alphabet? :)
ReplyDeleteShay, I am schpritzing over this, crying from laughter. If I wasn't the "preacher's wife," I'd have done something like this. It's my Crazy Chick side. You nailed it to the ever-f-ing WALL, honey. Wailing over the bio, and laughed so hard Lex got up to see what was the matter. I read it to him and he burst out laughing.
ReplyDeleteYou bodice-ripping hussy, I love your ways!! Love, Amy
I love yours...kinda how I feel when I grocery shop this days! Get out of my way zombies..lol I love the pissy
ReplyDeletevibe and netherparts...oh, my ;D
Seriously, Shay, which do you like best, really...the lickspittle macaques, or the queasy rhesus shitheads? you must have a favorite.
ReplyDeleteAlas, poor Lady Constance. How did she get the laxative past the dinner plate in her lower lip? Such a loss to literature at large, and to the English version of the Oriental fukyu poem in particular.
K
I cannot stop laughing!!! This is hilarious. Me thinks the Lady was perhaps the most anal retentive poet in the history of the world! And me thinks you have expressed quite perfectly your hatred for Haiku by sharing the Lady's Oriental fukyu poem.
ReplyDelete(Just clicked on your book then clicked on "surprise me" and read There Were Girls. Such a beautiful poem.
What a blast!!
ReplyDeleteI seem to have focussed on the awful xyz section of these poems and I gotta say I love your yammering zombies (and all the other crazy nouns with their riotous adjectives).
lickspittle! Perhaps you will host a prompt and lay out the rules for oriental fukyu in English...
ReplyDeletei love this .. need to memorize it ... too bad its too long for a pillow or sampler ... ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are so silly sometimes...you had me for a few minutes with your history lesson:~) Well, that is until the "dinner plate" part. I didn't get the earlier references. I'm running a bit slow today.
ReplyDeleteI loved the poem and the "fukyu form of English." Oh, you can make me laugh! Such a delight on a dreary day.
OMG, the title alone was the funniest thing I have ever read and then the rest of it - sheer brilliant hilarity.
ReplyDeleteWell, definitely not for the faint of heart! Made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteWowee zowee!
ReplyDeleteA very fine example of the fukyu form. I guess you added "lickspittle" after Margaret B left her comment.
ReplyDeleteAn overdose of laxative? That should put to rest all of the rumors that she was full of shit.
ReplyDelete{daintily wiping a tear from my eye with my embroidered lace hankie} i shall miss Lady Willow-Brigg for the rest of my days! no greater fukyu poet ever lived! a woman to be remembered forever!
ReplyDelete{daintily wiping a tear from my eye with my embroidered lace hankie} i shall miss Lady Willow-Brigg for the rest of my days! no greater fukyu poet ever lived! a woman to be remembered forever!
ReplyDelete