Monday, April 20, 2015

It's All In A Name

My name is Agnes Millicent MacLaury-MacFaquhar,
but in the villages they call me

Popsiqued'ononono Kanalbabwa Sesquemamba, which means
"She who glides like the most graceful of butterflies across the sky at dawn",
although the house boy tells me it really means "Old Monkeyface."

My father, Aldous Pimberton MacNaughton MacLaury,
was a manufacturer of women's undergarments.
When whalebone corsets went out of style, he built a meat pie empire
before moving the entire family here, 
to Port Fakankanza on the Chibumanian coast.

At any rate, I do love this place.
Every morning the Juboopari birds gather in the Momchagoosian trees
right outside my window.
My late husband, Horace Charlemagne Genghis "Jack" MacFarquhar,
used to collect the feathers and spent hours sorting and preserving them,
over in the east gazebo where he and Bruce Pinkfellow used to spend so many hours.

When Jacky died, I didn't know how I would cope.
Thank goodness for Bruce and his knack for handling money,
not to mention his kindness toward me.
I know what you're thinking, but he was always a perfect gentleman,
and such glorious taste in clothes! Those ascots were real silk.  

Still, I think we may travel on to Zigfatten Island next summer,
where they say that Mount Visnakunu sends up clouds of ash every afternoon. 
Yes, "we." I'm so sorry, I never introduced you to my late husband's ward!
He found her wandering on Fumba Gizella Avenue, 
without a penny to her name.
When he offered her a sweet, 
the horrid little thing kicked him smartly in the shins,
and ran off, but the local constabulary rounded her up in short order.

She's plain and mousey, and will never amount to anything,
but here she is, such as she is.
Say hello now, child. 
Well, it seems the cat's got her tongue.

Her name is Jane.

Ow! My shin!

Shay. Her name is Shay, my mistake, though lately she fancies herself "Fireblossom",
and is always scribbling on the plaster with a marker. 
I'll be giving her to the Gypsies presently.
________

for Bjorn's prompt at Real Toads. He wants us to write about our name, which for me is extra cool because, unlike most people, I chose mine myself. 

         

           

24 comments:

Björn Rudberg said...

Ouch.. my chin is hurting, way cool to chose your own name (though I think I like my name). I was laughing out loud at some of the name you gave though.. here in Sweden you can add name as you want.. so just maybe I will add a few later on.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Goodness, what a rich family history! Very entertaining.

Debi Swim said...

Is that all true? Wonderful whether it is or not. I loved every word of it.

Fireblossom said...

Except for my name, and the mother's general attitude, it's all bullshit lol.

Sumana Roy said...

nice! nice!:)

Gillena Cox said...

hope all of this is true, its just to sweet not to be; luv the witticism with which you presented


have a creative month

much love...

Sanaa Rizvi said...

If I may;
By words loving,
Call you Shay!

A brilliant poem... depicting the meaning of your lovely name :D
Love,
Sanaa

Jinksy said...

Lucky Gypsies, to get you - by any name! LOL

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Grinned my way through all of the fabulous names..........I love the one you chose for yourself!

Buddah Moskowitz said...

You got all that from Ancestry.com? All I was was "Sorry, no Mexicans here." A fantabulous ride, as always, la la Mosk

Cloudia said...

Ah Zigfatten! And things screamed between the lines!

"When whalebone corsets went out of style, he built a meat pie empire"

A sentence as satisfying as a meat pie - or an empire! Gosh I love it all...though you seldom come over to play....I blame the Skitty. Just too much good fun... "And then I'd be burned, of course! IF I was me. . . . in Indai" SWOON! Right back to Earth!


ALOHA from Honolulu,
ComfortSpiral
=^..^=





angieinspired said...

I like jane and Shay....in fact, I chose both of them for 2 of my daughter's middle names. I'm glad you satisfied the reader with reality in the end.

hedgewitch said...

Hilarious--had me in stitches throughout. You are the mistress of jaw-breaking monikers here, not to mention, Punster in Chief.

TexWisGirl said...

such an imagination. :) bruce pinkfellow. :)

proudmommaofgirls said...

That is quite hilarious :D Thank you for the opportunity to read your poem

Susie Clevenger said...

What lovely bullshit. :) The story of your name is far greater than being named for a pest.

Mama Zen said...

Does this mean we're not going to Zigfatten Island?

Outlawyer said...

Great fun. Wondeful names. Glad you got to a place that has internet. K.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Anyone who dares you to write about names should know they'll get more than they bargained for!

This made me laugh out loud.

Lynn said...

Perfect! And I like that you kicked multiple people in the shins. :)

grapeling said...

slendiferously spacktacular. I like your name. and if it's bullshit, it's the highest quality, grade A, grow crops bigger than GMO stuff ~

Shadow said...

You will??? Just make sure them gypies have a laptop and wireless for our Shay, wouldn't wanna lose her....

Daryl said...

what fun ...

eons ago someone i knew told me that when she was a kid she changed her name to alice but didn't tell anyone .. that way, she said, when her mother called sarah sarah come here .. she didn't have to reply since her name was alice

my heart's love songs said...

only you can make names more interesting than most people's poems!