Friday, October 12, 2018

Pheasant Therapist Is Cray Cray

Here I am, the answer to all your dreams.
But please, 
stay out in the waiting room;
when the light is on, I am in session.

Preen
preen preen
preen.
Okay, I'm not in session, I'm preening.
The last client left vermin in my feathers,
diminished their shine,
and brought that scary gun.

Pheasants are known for healing, and luck in love.
I'm a pheasant shore nuff. 
Okay, come in.
I'm right here
hiding behind the waste basket. 
Look into my goofy birdy eyes--
yep, you're pretty screwed up.

Let's see what we can do.
Yap yap yap
yap. 
I think what you really want is to eat me;
that could be fatal or fine.
You're a mess but cute. 
I think we made a lot of progress today, even with me creeping around the desk and along the walls. 

Ready?
FOOM flap flap flap FOOM!
Noisy right?
A girl's got to make an entrance. 
You gonna make a move now, or what?
Here I stand, trying again, feathered and fantastic
if not terrifically bright. 
_______ 

for Unfairy Tales at Real Toads. 

According to folklore, pheasants are harbingers of love and good luck, as well as being healers. The only time I ever encountered a pheasant, it absolutely exploded out of a bush, making a tremendous racket that scared me half to death. Perhaps it went on to establish a thriving practice offering talk therapy, tarot astrology, and interpretive dance. It could've.

10 comments:

Sherry Marr said...

Yay, I clicked on your link with great anticipation, for no one tells a tale like you do. Love it from the title to the final word. My first experience with a pheasant was when I was maybe around two, when my mom got tired of my whining and sent me out to play on our small farm, exasperatedly telling me to go catch a pheasant or something........short while later, obediently, I was back asking for a bucket to put the pheasant in. I had found a dead one out back, likely shot by my dad and not found. I have always aimed to please, lol. Thanks for writing to my prompt, Shay. I looked forward to your response so much.

Kerry O'Connor said...

I love the way you portrayed her transformation. Such a great read!

Toni Spencer said...

Live the sound effects in this. All I can picture is the pheasant mana with her babies toddling right behind her. I was once taken, as a child, on a pheasant hunt. I was to be the BEATER. I saw the pheasant and babies huddled in a group of bushes and...went to an empty bush and shook it. Deemed use less as a beater my uncle and friends dud their own tracking and came home with nothing. I later confessed to my father who told me, you did good.

Julian said...

Very good and impressive how your descriptive use of sound words certainly brings this mental image movement, yep, I certainly enjoyed this.

Cloudia said...

Liberated by retirement are ee?

என்ன said...

Ha. This is so hot. Tss. And you are so good.

My fave:

"yep, you're pretty screwed up.

Let's see what we can do.
Yap yap yap
yap.
I think what you really want is to eat me;
that could be fatal or fine.
You're a mess but cute.
I think we made a lot of progress today, even with me creeping around the desk and along the walls."

Yum.

De Jackson said...

Love the voice in this. "Here I stand...feathered and fantastic"

brudberg said...

Pheasants are all that and more (I have never tasted one), I think there are some living around where we live, they make sudden appearances like you said

Anmol (HA) said...

"You're a mess but cute": Oh, that is what I say to myself very often. Ha!

Such an amusing verse — a great read-out-loud with all those vocalizations and sounds — a tale wonderfully woven indeed. :-)

-HA

grapeling said...

lol. bird is the word, i've heard