Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

17



Let's steal down by the river--

I want to hear fugitive leaves crunch under my back

And look up at the moon caught in lonesome branches;

I want to see a cloud of breath escape your smile

Right before you kiss me.

Let's steal

Down by the river.

___________________


16 comments:

  1. I love the image of the fugitive leaves!

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  2. Yeah, I wanted to give a sense of getting away with something, sneaking out and stealing a moment.

    I'm pleased you liked it. :-)

    (an unintended consequence of the last line of this poem, though, is that it always gets "London Calling" stuck in my head. Argh!)

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  3. fugitive leaves with nowhere to flee but back to the soil to be reborn some distant time.

    It's a good poem!

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  4. Thanks, Jannie, and welcome to The Word Garden! Always nice to welcome a Texan. :-)

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  5. Wow, Arts & P., that phrase seems to be a success. In the first draft, they were simply "dry leaves" but i changed it on edit to "fugitive leaves." Glad I did!

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  6. "I want to see a cloud of breath escape your smile

    Right before you kiss me."

    What a lovely phrase. The entire poem is lovely.

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  7. Thanks, Tracey-Ann. Your blogs are lovely.

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  8. I really like this poem. It is full of imagery, when I read the phrase, "fugitive leaves crunch under my back" I could see a girl laying down by the river with leaves looking up into the moon. The whole poem just gave me so many images, I could see this night and feel the excitement of love.

    Also, I really like the first line and the last line, it ties the whole poem together. Itmakes me think of stolen kisses and stolen time.

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  9. Thanks, Grace! I'm glad I was able to make it vivid. And, as always, it's nice to see you here. :-)

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  10. A succinct yet sumptuous (semi) sonnet.

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  11. A sensationally sibilant response, sir! ;-)

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  12. this is a wonderful poem. gently piercing.

    and i find myself reading these words, again and again.

    "I want to see a cloud of breath escape your smile

    Right before you kiss me."

    thank you for dropping by and visiting me, so that i could discover this and your wonderful words.

    sorry about the small print. it's a style thing. a habit. a signature i suppose. and aside from my many bad habits, this is one i find hard to break...

    smiles.

    angela.

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  13. Hi Angela! I'm so glad that you stopped by The Word Garden, and that you enjoyed "17". :-)

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  14. I have my own private river, just by the glen - it has salmon and trout in it, and the glen is empty other than the trees, copious ivy and the birds.

    I jest you not. It's a special place that only I visit, way past the bottom of my garden. The fairies and I know it well. 'Tis the place I seek out when I need to think.

    Reading this, I'd be tempted to believe you have trespassed there, and left a mark.

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  15. ^^ And what makes you think that I am not one of your fairies, hmm? ;-)

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