an ennui of the heart.
It is not so much a seeking after angels
as a naming of devils.
Though these devils may sometimes be native,
most are introduced
like curare-tainted crosses slipped under our pillows
to teethe on at night.
We wobble into daylight, bright as fevers,
the lovely stricken
who learn to trick demons lazy for years or hours
or just the next blessed moment.
The well is poisoned, yes, but the hallucinations are rare,
butterflies of the injured mind.
We see loves bringing roses that are really lilies
for us discarded, already dead.
We are the gorgeous idiots, God's blind swans searching
for the blossoming branch,
mistaking the loaded barrel for Gilead's balm and leaving poems there
rolled, with ribbons, like answered prayers.
for Word Garden Word List #15 (Millay).
top image: major arcana tarot "The Fool"
the amazing Toni Childs