Saturday, December 25, 2010

The Postal Parade

It is Christmas morning, and postal carriers pour out of the doors of the main post office

Like pellets from a torn bean bag.

Some weep without shame.

Some laugh.

Some slap their knee with one hand and wipe their eyes with the other.

Christmas delivery season is over.

One carrier turns slowly in a circle, arms outstretched,

Grinning as if all the world had suddenly become chocolate-frosted.

Two mail ladies dance together on the sidewalk, to wonderful unheard music.

A carrier named Gary strips off his blue jacket and flings it away;

Soon his tie joins it, discarded on the snow-dusted ground.

Another places his mail bag upside-down over his head like a drunkard,

And pantomimes blindness as his friends hoot good-naturedly.

A civilian in a black overcoat approaches the group, holding out a letter.

This sends the entire blue bunch into hysterics.

One mocks, "Cad I bail a ledder?", and they all fall over, howling with glee.

A window opens on the second floor of the post office,

And several empty trays and buckets are flung out;

Then a rather shapely ass appears in the window and waggles.

On each side, in red lipstick, is written



Cheering and wolf whistles fill the chilly air.

A group of strong young carriers push a mail truck onto the lawn,

Knocking over an idealized stand-up of some soulless company shill hawking products.

When the truck stops rolling, one of them opens the back gate and pulls out an old forgotten Redbook magazine.

He rolls it up and peers through it like a pirate through a spy glass,

Until a little blonde co-worker takes it and uses it like a majorette's baton,

And they all parade away down the avenue.

It is the Christmas postal parade.

Hooray! Hooray!

They will go home and reintroduce themselves to their husbands and wives;

They will hoist up their children in their arms,

Ruffle their hair,

And spout love words you can see in the winter air.

Behold the Christmas miracle!

Ease and happiness--

Gifts falling into their lives like letters from the angels into a collection box.



faye said...

Merry Christmas Shay !
Glad you survived another postal season.. Hope those on your route
were appreciative of your efforts
and left a little something in your box.. that's what we do here
( out in the country ).

ellen abbott said...

have a great day.

hedgewitch said...

Thanks for making an invalid laugh to the point of pain. So have you been able to get that lipstick off yet?

Merry merry, dear.

Mama Zen said...

Hey, that's my Redbook!

Merry Christmas, darling!

mac said...

Yay, it's finally over. I'll have another 8 months before I have to hear about it again.

cinderkeys said...

Hee! It's a little like that where I work too, at a publishing services company. Starting around September, the authors who publish with us want printed books in their hands by Christmas. CHRISTMAS! It doesn't matter if they then revise their manuscript and don't get us the new one until late November. Why can't we wave our magic wands and give them books by Christmas? Why are we so mean to them??!

LulĂș said...

If I lived on the second story I'd definitely write something creative on my ass for the world to see. Hell, maybe I can just get on the rooftop and do it; it is Christmas after all.

Btw, stop inspiring me, Chica!

Lynn said...

Yay! I'm glad for you that the mail part of Christmas is over. I love the images of mail carriers parading down the street. :)

Merry Christmas, Shay!

Anonymous said...

I actually feel bad for the mail carriers during the holiday season. They have to deliver all of the packages and if a person is not happy, they yell at the mail carrier who is not at fault. It is not an easy job. I give them a lot of credit for doing what they do.

TechnoBabe said...

Job security, babe. Ha. I do so like your mind processes. Hope your Christmas was everything you wanted it to be.

Shadow said...

what a christmas miracle indeed!

Raven said...

lol, that was fantastic. Hope you had a Merry Christmas. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Just a tad relieved it is over, are you? Me too. I have a headache the size of Connecticut.

Brian Miller said...

ha....glad you got that miracle shay...hope you enjoyed which one was you? smiles.