Saturday, February 25, 2012


Millicent Menzies-McPhee
Invited me over for tea.

The mood was torpid, the talk was vapid;
The descent into fidgety misery was rapid.

Millicent droned on and on and on 
About her dismal daughter and stuporous son;

Neither was wedded, or even employed,
And of any interest completely devoid.

I sighed and suffered and wished I were dead,
As my mind dissolved and my poor ears bled,

Then, unable to take it, I exploded in laughter,
Took off my clothes and swung from the rafter.

"More tea?"
Inquired Ms. Menzies McPhee.

I said, "You are a tiresome, torturous bimbo!"
As the S.W.A.T. team came and rappelled in her window.

I was removed to the sanitarium post haste,
Which saved her life with not a second to waste.

And the moral is, most obviously,
If you want to have tea...

Don't have it with Millicent


for Ella's photo challenge at Real Toads.


Cloudia said...

delightful, yet subversive! Gorey?
Who was that guy who wrote lyrics & children's books like this?

Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral

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hedgewitch said...

But she has cookies!

This reminds me of the child's poem about James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby Fitz Dupree or whatever it was. (Slightly updated, of course.) Most delightful.

Brian Miller said...

so just what was in the tea? know there are quite a few formal occassions in which i would def want to swing from the rafters and tell the host the truth, but...smiles. fun read shay.

Sioux said...

This could--almost--sit side-by-side with some Shel Silverstein poems.

There are too many times that I'd like to take off my clothes and swing from the rafters. One day, perhaps I will...

Ella said...

The Mad Hatter would love this tea party~ I enjoyed the tone and the insanity of being in hot water! It was steeped in fun~ ;D

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I LOVE this! Hee hee. I picked the teapot too. Love the swinging from the rafters, which I have not even done when drinking stronger stuff than tea. But my mom climbed the Christmas tree once, after drinking red wine. Does that count? ;-)

Kerry O'Connor said...

I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to take my clothes off and swing from the rafters (I've even considered the possibility of doing it at work so they will retire me early on a nice fat mental disability pension!!)
I love a cup of tea but would certainly object to the McPhees of the world spoiling it for me.

Helen said...

.. and you thought she served tea? Jack Nicholson was spied leaving shortly before you! Case closed.

nene said...

This cup of tea you served was most delightful.

this had so much rythm, great tempo, smart whimsy.

I bet you play a 'mean' guitar.

thank you for refreshening my air just now. :P

Marion said...

What an awesome poem. I loved the sing-song rhyming pattern. I felt like a child reading a grown-up poem. Well done!! ;-) xo

Kay L. Davies said...

Oh, Shay, I loved this! I have actually known people this boring, and the only thing that kept me from wanting to swing from the rafters was my own fear of heights.
What fun!
Luv, K

Lolamouse said...

Hell with Millicent Menzies McPhee-I'll invite you for tea! Although I don't have rafters in my house, so you'll have to swing from my overhead lights if I'm not entertaining enough.

Mama Zen said...

I love it, I love it, I love it!

Anonymous said...

Love the name Millicent! instead of calling her Milli, i'd call her Cent and see if i could fix her up with fifty cent ~ he's on tour all of the time leavin' his mansion empty... bet there's lotsa rafters in his place!

Susie Clevenger said...

I love this. There have been times I have been so bored by tea and baloney I have been ready to swing from the rafters.

Mystic_Mom said...

I know people like her, and oh how I wish I could have swung from the rafters! What a fun poem...I love it!

WinterWrites said...

Very cool

Mary Ann Potter said...

Purely delightful!!! It needs to be illustrated --- what a fun read and what imagination!

Daryl Edelstein said...

I smiled my way through this one and the comment leavers are right - it needs clever whimsical illustrations

CC Champagne said...

One second I'm crying over the teapot and in the next I'm swinging with you from the rafters! First had me thinking of 'Keeping up appearances', but then swung straight into my favourite Tom Sharpe character Wilt! Loved it!!!