Monday, January 14, 2013


Tiger doesn't care about your little tea parties,
book clubs,
ladies' lunches.

Tiger doesn't wear stylish hats,
sexy thongs,
or fuck-me heels.

Though she weighs in excess of three hundred pounds,
Tiger doesn't say no to seconds.
You have two arms,
two legs,
two of certain organs;
give them up.

Tiger is hungry and has no time to shit around with you.
Whatever it is you meant to do with your life,
what were you waiting for?

Tiger isn't like the men you know.
She doesn't fall for it if you turn on the waterworks.
To her, you are a protein shake and nothing more.

Tiger, Tiger, burning bright,
'neath your motion-sensor light,
waiting til you need the Saab
to get you to the country club.

At least, in the end, don't whine like always.
Tiger's teeth are white as angels.
Die magnificently! Don't sulk. Don't film it with your phone.

Your husband will sic the insurance adjuster on the Tiger,
all to no avail. Tiger returns no calls
from her cooler-than-you Queendom

deep in the forests of the night.

photograph by the swoon-inducingly cool Mama Zen!

linked to Real Toads Open Link Monday.

And, with a wink to Ms. Gruye....


Grandmother said...

Wow! Now, there's a woman's woman.

Grandmother said...

My iPad app wouldn't let me finish- I love this! What are we waiting for indeed.

nene said...

Fun! Reminds of the book I just finished, 'The Life of Pi'. My inspiration to read it came from mi amiga,Kathleen of Wait, I have a blog.

Brian Miller said...

Whatever it is you meant to do with your life,
what were you waiting for?

ha, i like tyger's attitude...teeth white as angels...


Ileana said...

This is all the encouragement this tiger needs. :)

Kerry O'Connor said...

Die magnificently! Don't sulk. Don't film it with your phone...

I love it! There is an honesty to your tiger that is lacking in normal social congress..It's so easy to hide away and hope it will pick someone else to fillet.

hedgewitch said...

First, let me say, this is I think the third poem in a row where you've introduced a character with an attitude, yet none of them are in any way repetitive or going over the same ground--each one is unique, and arouses a different reaction in the reader, which only shows how there will be no hope for hair growth in my future.
Tiger is above the wiles of the coy, and the melodrama of the human condition, yet every descriptive personifying statement says something about our humanity, our flaws and virtues. Remarkable, and the 'protein shake' line is stellar. Blown away here, once again.

hedgewitch said...

Oh--and bonus points for BOC!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

How did Mama Zen get that close to a tiger? I love that, in tiger's eyes, we are simply a protein shake. Hee hee. With expendable limbs. You crack me up.

Abin Chakraborty said...

this one packs a punch for sure. some of the lines are sharp as harpoons.
loved the glance to Blake as well.
just one question though, if the tiger's caged, as in the picture, can s/he exercise this untamed ferocity?

Lynn said...

Love that last line - deep in the forests of the night...

TexWisGirl said...

loved the saab paragraph. :)

Anonymous said...

First off, I'm wondering why the title is spelled "Tyger" when you use the regular spelling throughout the piece. I'm probably missing something.

Oh okay. I've just gone searching, and I see that you're connecting with William Blake's "The Tyger" (from Songs of Experience). I love this stanza from his poem:

"What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?"

These are my favorite sections of your poem:

Stanza 2 (so awesome)

"Though she weighs in excess of three hundred pounds,
Tiger doesn't say no to seconds." Excellent. :)

"Tiger, Tiger, burning bright,
'neath your motion-sensor light,
waiting til you need the Saab
to get you to the country club." (Of course, the first line is from Blake's poem.)

"Don't film it with your phone."

I love that another poem inspired the writing of this one. And that you gave us the necessary clues to go and hunt down the first "Tyger."

Herotomost said...

The maother of all pesonal social comments really,. How fantastic was the execution of this point. I feel like I have been cut to ribbons...Excellent.

Hannah said...

I should never read other peeps comments before commenting...robbed of my thoughts other than pure awesomeness, Shay and I love this line...

"Tiger's teeth are white as angels."

I enjoy the tone and directness of the speaker in this!! :)

Daryl E said...

scary lovely

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

You pack a punch in this piece--loved it!

Sioux said...

I weigh less than this big cat, yet I don't say no to seconds either, and yet I look so much less sleek and gorgeous...

A "protein shake" is brilliant...

HermanTurnip said...

The power of nature at its most primal. Awesome!

Anonymous said...

Shay, I also went to see Life of Pi, so my memory of lunging tigers is quite fresh. This tiger reminds me of the honeybadger ("Honeybadger don't give a shit, he just gets back up and eats that fuckin' snake...!)

Lay down with tigers, get up with... bones! Takes no prisoners, yeah!! Amy

Kimolisa said...

To say I love this is an understatement. Truly filled with Badassery (yep, that's a new word)

Helen said...

In Tyger speak: grrrrrreeeeeaaaaaaaeat!

Kim Nelson said...

Now that is one powerful female. And she is clearly ready to release the world of the burden of certain sorts of women. Typically witty, entertaining and wry, Shay.

Anonymous said...

"Don't film it with your phone."

HA! LOVE that!

very cool poem, Sis!

Mama Zen said...

Sorry. I am SO filming it with my phone!

Isadora Gruye said...

I have to admit, reading the poem with the song made my night!!! (plus the cowbell!!!!!)....but then with the song it drowns out the Blake.

Okay first: this poem in it's predatory voltairesque splendor is perfect, and then add in the honeybadger shout out....too perfect.

True story: in my freshman year at college, I took an Introduction to British lit course (hello Nortons Anthology, you are still on my book shelf). When we discussed Blake, I spoke up about the tiger, tiger poem...about how I found it a little lame and mocked it in a silly british accent. Then my professor got very upset and told me he had composed music to that poem and it was a hit. His indignant anger only made me think the poem was more lame...this here, what you have done, makes me finally like it!

We can be as they la