Tiger doesn't wear stylish hats,
or fuck-me heels.
Though she weighs in excess of three hundred pounds,
Tiger doesn't say no to seconds.
You have two arms,
two of certain organs;
give them up.
Tiger is hungry and has no time to shit around with you.
Whatever it is you meant to do with your life,
what were you waiting for?
Tiger isn't like the men you know.
She doesn't fall for it if you turn on the waterworks.
To her, you are a protein shake and nothing more.
Tiger, Tiger, burning bright,
'neath your motion-sensor light,
waiting til you need the Saab
to get you to the country club.
At least, in the end, don't whine like always.
Tiger's teeth are white as angels.
Die magnificently! Don't sulk. Don't film it with your phone.
Your husband will sic the insurance adjuster on the Tiger,
all to no avail. Tiger returns no calls
from her cooler-than-you Queendom
deep in the forests of the night.
photograph by the swoon-inducingly cool Mama Zen!
linked to Real Toads Open Link Monday.
And, with a wink to Ms. Gruye....